Perfect Worlds
by Zodiac Rain
Summary: When the Ed boys capture a special type of magical creature resembling a fairy, the fairy, trying to escape, offers the boys a chance to see a dimension where everything is “perfect”…but the three soon find out that even the “perfect” world has flaws….
1. Chapter 1

Hi everyone! I suddenly had an inspiration for an Ed, Edd N Eddy fanfic last night…

**Story Behind the Story:** Okay, as it said in the intro, I had an idea for an EENE fanfic one night. However, I did not work on it or publish it until a long time later….

**Summary:** When the Ed boys capture a special type of magical creature resembling a fairy, the fairy, trying to escape, offers the boys a chance to see a dimension where everything is "perfect"…but the three soon find out that even the "perfect" world has flaws….

**Disclaimer:** Ed, Edd N Eddy and all its characters are copyright AKA Cartoon. I am not using them for profit; I am simply using them to practice my own writing skills….

**Author: **Hi! This is my first Ed Edd N Eddy fanfic, so that probably means that the characters probably won't be completely in character. Also, about reviews: I prefer constructive criticism. Flamers, if my story "suxz" so badly, than you should at least give 1 good reason why. And I don't mean "cuz it dose" either.

Chapter One- A Fairixie is Found

It was a typical cul-de-sac day- almost. The Ed Boys where not scamming, as no one was around. Sarah and Jimmy had gone to get their hair cut, while Johnny, Kevin, and Rolf where at an out-of-town football game. Nazz was in bed, sick with the flu, which only left the Kanker Sisters- and no one wants to be with the Kanker sisters.

So, the three Ed boys wandered around the cul-de-sac, completely bored. "There's nothing to do here!" Eddy finally yelled.

Double D suggested, "How about we go home and rest today?"

"No way!" Eddy responded.

"Let's stop the people of the eighth dimension from taking over Planet X using cool mutant powers, just like the kids in _Kids of the Eighth Dimension!_"

Ed's suggestion just received two blank stares. Eddy groaned, "I'm so bored, I'd go into Ed's back yard to watch grass grow!"

Suddenly, Eddy had one of his "brilliant" ideas. "I know! Let's collect four-leaf clovers and sell 'em when the kids get back!"

Before Ed or Double D could say anything, Eddy pulled them along into Ed's back yard (as Ed's house was the closest). After quite a long time searching for four-leaf clovers (and only finding three-leaf clovers and a turtle thanks to Ed), they found themselves sitting down, STILL completely bored.

"Let's give up Eddy; the chances of finding a four-leaf clover are-" Of course, Double D was ignored by Eddy, as always.

"Did you hear that?" Eddy had said, pointing at a tree in Ed's back yard.

"Aw, Eddy, it was probably just a bug or squirrel or magical mutated toy boat!" Ed said.

"Ed's right, about the first two things, anyway. We should be heading home, or we'll waste a perfectly good summer's day." Double D said.

"Wow, Double D and Ed agreeing. Weird," Eddy said, walking up to the tree. "I bet, if anything, there are four-leaf clovers here."

Ed grabbed Double D's hand and dragged him to Eddy. Eddy, by the time they got there, was looking threw the bushes surrounding the tree.

"Woah!" Ed suddenly cried.

"Unbelievable!" Double D said.

However, Eddy didn't say anything. His pupils were replaced with GIGANTIC cash signs. Quickly, he grabbed the glowing thing located under the bush.

"New plan! We sell the fairy!" Eddy said.

Double D, blinking a few times, suddenly returned from his shocked daze back to his regular self. "Eddy, I seriously doubt that was a fairy…" But he sounded like he didn't completely believe it.

"FAIRY!" Ed said, poking at Eddy's glowing hand.

"Get your hand away from me!" Eddy screeched, yanking his hand away from Ed.

Yes, while Eddy was poking around, he had seen a slight glowing, fairy-shaped creature!

"Please let me go," it cried.

The three boys jumped about a mile into the air, although Eddy didn't let go of it. "It talked!" Double D yelled.

"COOL!" Ed cried.

"Why would I let you go, fairy, when I could sell you for a lot of money?" Eddy demanded, glaring at the glowing creature.

"I'm not a fairy," the creature said. "I am a Fairixie. My name is Fay, and I have the ability to teleport into parallel universes… which is how I got here now…."

"So?" Eddy said.

"OH! COOL!" Ed cried. "TRANSPORT ME TO A UNIVERSE WHERE I OWN A DRAGON!"

"I can transport you to universes," Fay quickly explained, "where you can be treated as KINGS! As millionaires! As the winner of the Best Person Ever Award!"

Eddy rubbed his chin thoughtfully. "So, you could send me to a universe where I am a billionaire?"

"Yes!" Fay cried. "Just let me go!"

Double D recognized the money-loving gleam in Eddy's eye. Eddy was about to do something stupid… "Wait, Eddy!" Double D cried.

Eddy ignored Double D for the millionth time that day. "WELL then, Fairixie, teleport us all to universes…"

"WHERE EVERYTHING IS PERFECT FOR US!" An excited Ed yelled.

"Yeah!" Eddy cried.

"Done," the Fairixie cried.

A bright green light filled the air above the Ed-boys. "A vortex!" they gasped in unison.

A long green tunnel reached down to grab Eddy; similarly, a red and yellow tunnel reached and grabbed Ed and Double D, respectively.

The Fairixie sighed as they disappeared. "Freedom…"


	2. Chapter 2: Eddy

**Disclaimer:** Ed, Edd N Eddy and all its characters are copyright AKA Cartoon. I am not using them for profit; I am simply using them to practice my own writing skills….

Also, I don't own the fanlistings, either….

**Author: **Hi! Now, I am going on to Chapter Two of my story. This chapter is from Eddy's point of view. Next will be Double D's, than Ed's. Okay, ON WITH THE STORY!

Chapter Two- Eddy McRich, the richest rich kid ever

Eddy blinked. He looked around himself. Ed's back yard had disappeared- instead, he stood in the middle of the biggest back yard he ever saw! Three gigantic swimming pools one of them going as far down as twenty feet, 2 enormous Jacuzzis, a tennis court, millions of plants most being rare or almost extinct and a miniature petting zoo filled it- and there was STILL tons of space left over!

"Woah," Eddy said. Than he realized what he was wearing…. His hair was neatly parted and combed; an obviously expensive white tuxedo rested upon him, and he wore a matching top hat and shoes. Fine gloves covered his hands, and he had a large monocle resting above his eye. He also held a pure gold cane.

"Oh god, I look like such a dork," Eddy said. He took the monocle and gloves off, rubbed his hair back to its old self, and put the hat back on. "Now, I look cool," he said.

He then turned to see a MASIVE building. It must have been at least 18 stories tall and could have easily held a whole factory! He then walked up to the back door- which happened to have pure gold decorations on it- and looked down at the little stand by it.

On the stand, it said, "This is the one of the many back entrances to the Mansyonn. The Mansyonn is Eddy McRich's smallest mansion, 20 stories tall with 175 rooms. The tour will begin now… press one on your head phones."

Under the little guide, it said, "_Mansyonn Tours are closed when Eddy McRich is living in it… please take the McRich Tour instead, and meet Eddy McRich himself!_"

Eddy blinked. That little Fairixie hadn't exaggerated. His parallel was probably not only a millionaire, but a BILLIONAIRE… NO! A trillionair! No, a million-trillion-air!

He opened the door to the colossal mansion. Instantly, ten people ran over to him. "Eddy McRich, sir! Do you need help? Is there anything you want?" the maids and butlers asked in unison.

"Um," Eddy was dazed speechless (Author: RUN! IT'S THE END OF THE UNIVERSE!). Finally, he managed to say, "Uh, could you guide me to… my bedroom?"

"Which one, sir?" the ten asked in unison.

Eddy blinked. Had he heard right? "The… closest one."

"Yes, sir!" all ten said in unison, again, as if though they were rehearsing lines from a play.

The ten men and women lead him to a door. It was obviously Eddy's room- he could tell because the door was made of cash. Literally. It was layers of cash rapped in plastic!

One of them opened the door to Eddy's room. Eddy gasped at the sight of it. His bedroom could have fit three times in that room! And even though the ugly brown and purple paint was unpleasant, everything else was stunning in the room.

A bed as big as his parent's bed rested at one part of the room. On top of it were pillows that just screamed, "PUT YOUR HEAD ON ME- I'M SOFT AND COMFORTABLE!" Across from his bed lied the biggest TV set he had even seen. A record player- along with a whole sound system- lied in another corner of the room. And the newest computer sat on a desk next or rather, twenty feet away from Eddy's bed.

This hadn't even begun to describe the room- but Eddy's eyes lingered upon the computer. Finally- he had wanted to go on the computer to find some information on him….

"Leave me now," Eddy said, and, to his surprise, they had practically disappeared on his command.

Eddy went up to the computer and logged in. (Surprisingly, his account was the same as in his universe….) He clicked on the internet program and typed in the search box, "eddy mcrich".

He clicked on the first website that appeared on the list, which just happened to be He clicked on a section of the sight labeled, "Info on the richest boy alive, Eddy McRich!"

He clicked on the first page and read what it had to say.

_EDDY MCRICH _

_Inheritor of the McRich Fortune_

Here, a picture of Eddy in another dorky rich outfit lay

_Name: Eddy McRich_

_Age: Twelve_

_Eddy is the youngest, and only, member of the McRich fortune. Originally, his parents owned the McRich fortune- duh- and it was to go to Mr. Michael McRich's eldest son. A terrible limo accident took the two adult McRich and their eldest son's life. Eddy was blessed to be at one of their mansions at the time. _

_Having enough cash to buy Pluto, Eddy's lawyer- a good friend of Mr. McRich, had no trouble buying Eddy the rights to the fortune, although under aged._

_Eddy has given over $20,000,000 to charities and other helpful organizations. _

_He has been labeled the Richest Kid Alive and has won the "Best Person Award" four times. _

_Eddy currently resides in his summer home, the Mansyonn. He also lives in two more mansions during other times of the year. Eddy is the founder and owner of McRich Land, the third largest amusement park in the world._

_To learn more about the structures Eddy owns, click here. _

_To go to our chat forum on Eddy McRich, click here._

_And to join our fanlisting on Eddy McRich, click here._

Eddy blinked, trying to let this all in. He **owned** an amusement park? He **owned** **_three_** mansions, this immense mansion being the smallest? He gave **20 million** to charities? He received the Best Person Award not once, not twice, but **_four_** times?

That Fay girl was NOT exaggerating at all.

Everything was perfect here, Eddy thought.

But the trouble was yet to start.


	3. Chapter 3: Double D

**Disclaimer:** Ed, Edd N Eddy and all its characters are copyright AKA Cartoon. I am not using them for profit; I am simply using them to practice my own writing skills….

**Author: **And now we are going to see what Double D's going through! Then we'll go to Ed, and go back to where we left Eddy off. On to the fic!

Chapter Three: Double D, the world-changing Inventor

Double D's eyes snapped open. All he could see was darkness. _Oh bad, bad, bad, bad_, Double D thought. _Eddy, why did you send me off to a parallel universe? So impulsive!_

He looked around. As his eyes adjusted to the dark, he realized he was in a bedroom of some sort. A small bed, which Double D could tell was hardly used, rested in the corner or the empty room. Nothing else was in the room but a desk filled with papers and a chair, the one he sat in. The only light came from a window. It was small, but the stars shined brightly through, as if though all the pollution on Earth had disappeared.

A door suddenly opened and a bright light filled the room. As Double D's eyes adjusted, he saw that a young lady had opened the door. She was wearing a white lab coat and short blue jeans. Her blond hair was held up in a bun, a few curls dangling here-and-there. Narrow glasses covered her eyes, and Double D realized that she was holding a clipboard.

_It can't be_, Double D thought. But despite the fact that she was twenty years old, Double D knew that she was…

_Nazz_.

"Eddward, Sir, the new scientists need your assistance," she said. The calm, but familiar, voice confirmed her identity.

Double D knew he had to play along. "Coming," he said cheerfully.

Double D noted the confused look on Nazz's face. However, Nazz didn't say anything. She just walked with him, silently.

Double D used this quiet time to look around and think. Obviously, he was in a lab or hospital of some kind. As he looked around at the people running about- all wearing lab coats- he realized something about his body.

Double D was no longer twelve. He was at least twenty-one.

He would have yelled out, but he didn't know what kind of world he was in. No one would believe his story if this was his idea of a picture-perfect world. _Great, just great, _Double D thought.

Soon, the two came to a door. The door was all white- including the door knob- and the only decoration was a label that said, "Room 28- Scientist-Training Lab". Nazz grabbed an I.D. card off of her clipboard and swiped it in front of the door knob. The door opened with two beeps.

The inside of the room was completely starch-white, just as the halls and door had been. The floors, walls, ceiling and counters were all a blinding white color that matched the lab coats everyone- including Double D- wore. It didn't help that the light bulbs were all brighter than most people could handle.

A group of scientists stood around a counter, heads leaned above something. Hushed mumblings and a couple of not-so-hushed agitated growls filled the room. One of the scientists noticed Double D and Nazz.

"Sir, Eddward, Sir! Mrs. Nazz!" the young adult said, his words all rushed, politely bowing. He was Asian and had a slight Japanese accent.

The other scientists looked up. Various hellos filled the room.

"What would be the problem?" Double D asked.

"Well, you know that invention you were working on…" the Asian scientist said, slowly this time.

"Yes," Double D lied.

"We kinda… sorta… blew it up," he said. He looked down to the floor, bracing himself for the scolding he…

…_didn't_ receive. After a second of silence, he looked up to see a sight he thought he would never see- Sir Eddward, the famous, brilliant, UNCONFUSABLE scientist who had changed the world, looking… _confused_. Why, Sir Eddward was downright befuddled, by the looks of it!

Double D looked around. _I can't do this_, he thought. _I have no clue what these guys are talking about. Perhaps I can get Nazz to believe me…. It's worth a shot…. _

"Nazz, we need to talk," he said, looking at Nazz. He saw Nazz nod to the scientists, and the young scientists quickly left the room.

Closing the door, she asked, "What did you want to talk about, Eddward, Sir?"

_Why did they keep calling him Eddward Sir or Sir Eddward,_ Double D thought, annoyed. He took a deep breath, ready to tell Nazz the truth.

A large lie flew from his mouth. "I'm not sure, Nazz, but I think I've got amnesia."

"Amnesia?" Nazz asked in surprise.

"Yes!" Double D said, letting the lie take over his mouth. "I can't remember anything except for my childhood nickname and you! I don't remember this place at all- I don't remember these scientists, or these inventions, or these experiments! None of it!"

Nazz looked at Double D for a second, and he feared she didn't believe him. "Okay, Eddward, sir, ummm…" She looked around. "How about this? You go to your bedroom- that's the dark room I found you in, remember?"

After Double D nodded, Nazz continued. "Well, you go in there; I'll tell everyone you have a headache and then I'll meet you there. We'll decide what to do then, okay?"

Double D nodded. Nazz opened the door, warning, "Don't talk to anyone on the way! Just tell them you're busy and continue!"

Again, Double D nodded. As he walked away, she ducked back in the room. Pulling out an extremely tiny walky-talky from the collar of her lab coat, she whispered, "Second in command reporting…"

"Abort mission, ma'am?" A voice whispered from the walky-talky.

"No. Continue without head of command," Nazz said after a second of communication. Not even their leader having amnesia would convince her to stop her mission….

"Command received. Number 22 signing off," the voice said.

With a sigh, Nazz said, "You don't need to tell me when you're 'logging' off."

"Yes, ma'am"; than he truly logged off.

With a sigh, she pulled her plan into action, telling everybody who passed her way not to bug Sir Eddward- he had a TERRIBLE headache!

After she was sure she told everyone, she turned to walk to Sir Eddward's room, a slight smile crossing her face….


	4. Chapter 4: Ed

**Disclaimer:** Ed, Edd N Eddy and all its characters are copyright AKA Cartoon. I am not using them for profit; I am simply using them to practice my own writing skills….

**Author: **Yahoo! And now I am going into the deepest parts of my mind to drag out the weirdest I have to offer (hopefully, it's weird enough)… yes, I am now doing ED! WARNING WEIRDNESS AHEAD WARNING WEIRDNESS AHEAD

Chapter Four: Ed, Holder of the Parallel Universe

The vortex disappeared, leaving Ed in his back yard…

NO! Upon second inspection, Ed realized he was on ION, Jupiter's undiscovered moon-straight out of the comic! "COOL!" He yelled.

He looked around the barren plains of ice. Instantly, he knew that ice demons were hiding among the sky-touching pillars of purplish ice. Ed looked down at his outfit. "Woah, I am a Space Ranger!" he said upon inspection of his uniform.

Like before, Ed wore a green jacket, but his shirt was replaced with space-age armor, incrusted with what looked like… a crystal? His jeans were replaced with SUPER PANTS, which enabled him to fly and were white in color! He also noticed he was wearing a crown/helmet and was holding a cool sword made out of a substance harder than diamonds.

As he had expected, ice demons suddenly emerged from the purple ice towers! "ED, RETREAT!" A voice behind him yelled.

Ed looked at the army of ice creatures running toward him, malice in their eyes, weapons in hand, and decided he would fight them at a later time. He ran away, screaming as if though he were begging Sarah not to tell on him.

He saw a few seconds of running later a gigantic swirling whole in the ground and a really tall penguin staring at him. "ED, THE ICESHES ARE COMING! JUMP IN THE TELEPORTER, QUICK!"

Ed stared at the penguin long enough to yell, "COOL!" Before remembering where he was and jumping in the teleporter.

As he fell, Ed began to wonder where the teleporter would send him, and whether that penguin-thing was trustworthy or not…. Before he could begin to panic, he was spewed out of the portal into his back yard (for real, this time).

The back yard was the only thing Ed recognized- the sky was all black and star-filled, as if it was night, but the sun was shining; and the area where his house should have been was replaced with a gigantic palace made out of the similar substance to the one his armor was made out of.

Seconds later, the penguin appeared out of the glowing green vortex in the sky. It turned to Ed and asked, "Are you alright, sir?"

"I'm fine, thank you," he said, "this place is COOL! It's just like my comic books!"

The penguin gave Ed a confused (and concerned) stare, but before it could say anything, somebody came out of the palace, grumbling.

Ed blinked as the alien approached him. It had green skin (as all aliens in cliché comics do), was bald, and had three eyes, but otherwise looked human. The creature wore an outfit similar to Ed's, except purple in color, and jacket and crystal-less. The space-creature was holding a device. The alien said, in English, "What's wrong with this darn teleporter? I know I adjusted the coordinates so it would teleport you into the meeting hall…"

"Meeting hall?" Ed asked.

The alien looked up at Ed, as if noticing him for the first time. "Greetings, Ed," it than turned to the tall penguin, "Hello, Skuashi… Did you collect the information?"

"No," the penguin, or Skuashi, replied. "The spaceship was sent off course by some of the Trebles and landed on Jupiter's 25.5th moon, Ion. The Iceshes attacked us, and I was barely able to open the teleporter in time to save Ed."

The alien shuddered. "Trebles AND Iceshes in one mission…."

A second of silence passed, and Ed had to resist the urge to yell out one of the many questions in his head. _What species are you_, he wanted to ask the alien, _and what are Trebles and Iceshes? How come I am a SPACE RANGER? Do you know I come from an alternate universe?_

Somehow, quite uncharacteristically, he kept quiet.

The other two noticed. "Are you okay, Ed?" Skuashi asked.

"Uhhhh…."

Luckily, Ed was saved from explaining by a scream from behind him. He turned around to see the tree in his back yard become… a young (or old?) woman!

Her appearance was most peculiar. Her figure was obviously that of a kid around Ed's age, but her long hair was silver and her silver eyes squinted as if though she were going blind. Her face had a few wrinkles and her fingers- the only thing showing threw her childish, bright pink, crystal-less version of Ed's outfit- were old and chapped. She looked very much like a young, old woman.

The woman, too, held a device much like the alien's, but this one had a long green trail coming out; it was obviously scanning Ed.

"What is it, Transformer-Saraline?" the alien asked.

"Ed's MOLECULES!" The girl/woman, obviously Saraline, yelled.

"What about my molecules?" Ed asked. Fear struck his mind- maybe, after being on Ion for so long, his molecules were mutating….

"They're made out of matter! PURE MATTER! No anti-matter, not even any semi-matter or magi-matter, just matter! It's not possible!" Saraline exclaimed.

Gasps came from the other two creatures. Ed scratched his head. "Magi-matter? Semi-matter?"

"Yes, those are two of the four forms of matter. But something happened while you were on the trip- you originally had a healthy mix of anti-matter, matter, semi-matter and even a bit of magi-matter. But now- ALL of your cells are made up of matter!" Saraline cried, again.

"But doesn't anti-matter explode upon impact with matter?" Ed asked, confused. The little he knew about science dealing with anti-matter was becoming very chopped up.

"No," all three of the people he met said.

"Unless…" Saraline mumbled.

"Unless what?" Ed, the alien, and the penguin asked in unison.

"Unless you are from a parallel universe made completely of matter!" Transformer-Saraline said, jumping up and down in excitement.

The other two turned to Ed. "Are you from a parallel universe?" Skuashi asked.

"Yes, I am," Ed said after a short hesitance.


	5. Chapter 5: Eddy

**Disclaimer:** Ed, Edd N Eddy and all its characters are copyright AKA Cartoon. I am not using them for profit; I am simply using them to practice my own writing skills….

**Author: **Continuing from where Eddy left off, here comes chapter five! The "Eddy story arc", as I call it, will probably unfold the quickest of them all; the "Double-D story arc" will also be fast; but the "Ed story arc", although full of action, will probably unfold the slowest. (At least, that is what I have planned…) Warning: fan characters ahead. Okay, I am finally done with my rambling, ON WITH THE STORY!

Chapter Five- Rich Kids' Schools (are Even Worse then Poor Kids')

Eddy sat down on the gigantic bed, actually thinking (something he hardly ever does). So, apparently, he was in a parallel universe were he was richer then the whole planet, and was extremely well known and loved by millions, possibly even billions, of people.

"What could go wrong?" Eddy wondered. He got his answer the very next second.

The door to his bedroom slammed open, and a lady walked in. Eddy could tell by the look on the woman's face that she was extremely strict. "Sir Eddy!" she yelled in a prim-and-proper (snobby) voice. "You are late for your lessons!"

Eddy winced at the tone. "Lessons?" he asked.

The lady looked horrified. "Sir Eddy, you must speak in full sentences! The proper thing to have said would have been, 'What lessons are you talking about, Lady Allith?'" she scolded.

"What lessons are you talking about, Lady Allith?" Eddy responded, trying not to show his disgust or confusion, although he did show a bit of his anger.

"The lessons you take every day, Sir Eddy," Lady Allith said, "I am in charge of teaching you how to be proper, and how to spend your fortune. Come along now, Sir."

Eddy followed Lady Allith. Halfway down the hall, she turned around and gasped. "What is it?" Eddy asked, looking behind him.

"Look at how you are walking, Sir Eddy!" Lady Allith cried, as if she had seen the most horrible thing in the universe.

Eddy blinked. He was walking like he always walked.

Lady Allith ran (trotted) up to him. She said, "Sir Eddy, someone of your wealth and power should NOT be walking like… some commoner!"

Before Eddy could respond with a sarcastic comment, she took his hands out of his pocket and placed them by his side. She then slapped his back with a whip, causing him to stand up straighter. The position was surprisingly painful. "Stay in that position," Lady Allith said in a haughty tone.

"But-" Eddy began, his temper rising.

"Sir Eddy! Never begin a sentence with the word 'but'!" Lady Allith said scornfully.

"But this darn position hurts my back!" Eddy yelled.

Lady Allith raised an eyebrow as if to say, so what? She then said, "Sir Eddy, what did I say about starting sentences off with the word 'but'?"

Eddy grumbled but continued to follow Lady Allith. Very soon they came to a door labeled, "School Room". She waved her hand in front of the doorknob and the automatic door opened. Eddy looked inside the room.

There were eleven desks, but only ten of them were filled. The unfilled desk rose feet high above the others, and it looked more like a throne with a dinning room table then a desk. He knew the desk belonged to him because the words "Eddy McRich" was carved for all to see on the throne, and also because a servant was spraying "Perfume A la Cash" on the desk.

When Eddy and the teacher walked into the classroom, all the kids stood up and saluted them. When Lady Allith waved her hand, they all sat down respectfully. Eddy looked at the kids; he didn't recognize a single face.

"Take your seat, Sir Eddy," Lady Allith said. Eddy complied, shocked by the size of the desk he was supposed to sit as. Lady Allith watched him like a hawk as he somehow managed to get on the throne- er, desk. When he was seated, she cleared her throat.

The other kids sat up straighter at the sound. Eddy quickly caught on. Lady Allith walked in front of the desks, the silence terrifying. He began to sweat as Lady Allith walked, wordlessly, coming closer and closer to his desk….

Lady Allith stopped at the desk… _next_ to Eddy. Eddy let out a silent breath of relief. Lady Allith narrowed her eyes, and the child she was staring at began to sweat excessively. "What are you doing here, Ilene?" Lady Allith asked in a dangerous tone.

The girl's eyes widened. She stuttered, "I-ilene? Lady Allith, Ilene is my twin sister- I'm Irene!"

It was so obvious that Ilene was lying, Eddy thought.

"Ilene," Lady Allith said, "You are not the heir to the Rosomon Fortune. This is a class for heirs to fortunes. Irene is the heir to the Rosomon Fortune. I do not want you to take the place of your twin again. If you do…."

The room was so silent; you could hear a pin drop. Lady Allith produced a device with a button on it out of no where, and pressed the red button. The floor around Ilene's desk disappeared, and Ilene screamed as she fell down the pit….

Lady Allith muttered something that sounded an awful lot like, "Darn commoners," before clearing her throat. "So," she spoke in her royal voice, "it seems everyone but Irene is here today. We shall begin today's lessons."

Lady Allith began writing on the white board. Eddy stared at the meaningless stuff, and found himself growing extremely tired. He yawned loudly. Lady Allith jumped in surprise.

"SIR EDDY!" Lady Allith yelled, loud enough to wake the dead. "Did you just yawn? Am I boring you that much, Sir Eddy!"

"Yes," Eddy answered before he realized what he was saying.

"What?" Lady Allith asked through clinched teeth.

" 'What' is not a full sentence, Lady Allith," Eddy said in a mocking tone.

"Sir Eddy…"

"What are you goona due? Ground me?" Eddy asked.

Before Lady Allith could respond, the bell rang. Eddy practically ran out of the room, much to Lady Allith's grief- rich people should _not_ run!

Eddy ran, smirking, for a few minutes before he stopped, realizing he had no clue where he was. "Oh great," Eddy thought. "I have this lame psychopath of a teacher mad at me; I still have to go to a school, and the school stinks even more then my old one, and I'm lost in this colossal mansion."

Eddy looked up at the ugly-colored wallpaper on the ceiling. "That fairy thing cheated me," he yelled, "this place is **not **perfect. Hey, Fay! FAY! SEND ME BACK TO THE REAL WORLD!"

Eddy paused for a second, waiting for a vortex to open up in the ceiling. When the expected vortex did not appear, he screamed even louder, shaking his fist, "FAY! I AM SERIOUS! GET ME OUT OF HERE!"

Eddy waited another minute. Nothing happened. "Fay?" he asked, but this time it was more of a terrified whisper then a rage-filled yell.

Realization crossed Eddy's face.

"I'm stuck here…."


	6. Chapter 6: Double D

**Disclaimer:** Ed, Edd N Eddy and all its characters are copyright AKA Cartoon. I am not using them for profit; I am simply using them to practice my own writing skills….

**Author: **Hey, I know some people are excited that Double D's part has come! …. Okay, on with the story.

Chapter Six: History of the Inventor

Double D looked around the dark room. He understood, now, why it was so dark: after facing those bright lights all day, his parallel self probably didn't want to see any more lights! Double D frowned, sitting on the chair in front of the desk. What was he going to do? Eddy sent him into a parallel universe. The parallel universe was cool, but he wanted to get back home. How on Earth was he going to do that?

"Ow!" Double D suddenly cried. He looked down at his hand. "Paper cut…" Apparently, while he was thinking, his hand was randomly shifting through the papers on the desk. He frowned. If this was his perfect universe, he probably kept Band-Aids in his bedroom.

Silently, he began looking around the desk for Band-Aids. While he was looking, a piece of paper fluttered to the ground. "This desk it so messy…" he muttered as he bent down to pick up the paper. He was about to put it back on the desk when the paper's title caught his eye….

Was the darkness of the room tricking his eyesight? Surely, it had to be. Why would Double D's parallel keep a paper titled, "Mission- Destruction?"

"Eddward, Sir?"

Double D put the paper back on the desk. "Hi, Nazz," he said. Nazz sat down on his bed.

"So… you said you have amnesia, right?" Nazz asked.

"Yes," Double D lied, "I have a complete case of amnesia. I only remember my childhood nickname- Double D- and you, Nazz."

"What do you remember about me?" Nazz asked.

"Not much… Just your name and voice and looks… and that I am suppose to know you," Double D explained.

Nazz sighed, and rubbed her temples. "That's all you remember?" she asked.

"Yes," Double D said.

"Well, I suppose that I should tell you about who you are," Nazz said. "Then we should decide what to do next."

Nazz sighed, as if to decide where she should start. "Okay, you were born in a little cul-de-sac… Peach Creek, I believe it was called. That was where we met. You lived there through your teenage years. There were only 6 kids that lived in that cul-de-sac…. Two of those kids were us, and the other four consisted of a kid named Kevin, a guy named…Rolf, I think, and Johnny and Jimmy."

Double D blinked. That was weird- Eddy, Ed, Sarah and the Kankers didn't exist in this universe… or at least, they didn't know him.

"Well, Johnny and Jimmy were good friends. Actually, all the kids in the neighborhood were good friends. Jimmy and Johnny work at these labs today, and Rolf works at the farms where we grow our food, but I am getting ahead of myself. Well, as I said, you lived in Peach Creek. You went to Peach Creek High School, where you got excellent grades and joined practically every after-school activity. You also volunteered a lot, during the weekends," Nazz explained, her eyes going hazy, as if she were actually in the past instead of here.

"You got scholarships from every college you applied for. You went to an excellent college, which they renamed Eddward University, in your honor," Nazz paused, and suddenly blushed. "You also got married while you were in college."

"To whom?" Double D asked, very startled by the information Nazz was giving him.

"Me," Nazz answered.

A very uncomfortable silence filled the room. Nazz coughed, and said, "I think I'll continue…. While you were in college, you got a job to help pay off some of the college debts. You worked at a factory that made toys.

"The factory was not doing well. In desperation, they turned to the workers, asking them to create a toy design that all the children would love. So, you created a toy design. It was perfect: it was easy for the factory to make, and children loved it. The factory is now number one in selling toys. You got promoted, until eventually you were the head of the factory.

"You continued to create things. One of the creations you made got the government's attention," Nazz said, "in a good way. The invention was an air purifier… a common invention, but yours was the best of its kind. The government used the air purifier in a forest with bad air, as a test…

"The air in that forest was so bad; you couldn't see three feet in front of you. It was like being in a cloud of smoke. The government left the air purifier in the forest for three weeks. When they came back, the air was, as the president said, 'the freshest air I had ever breathed in.'" Nazz paused to take in a deep breath of air, as if she were in the forest.

"All the countries wanted your air purifier. You became quiet rich, and the Earth's atmosphere is now what it once was before humans came around. With this money, you continued to create. You created a few factories to create your next inventions. Your inventions have done a great deal of good for the earth. The ozone layer is now completely fixed, and toxic waste is no longer a problem; you created a device that changed the number of electrons the toxic waste's atoms had, making it into elements we could use.

"You've stopped species from going extinct, you've purified the waters of the world, oh, if I continue this list, we'll be here all day," Nazz said.

"Anyway-" Nazz paused.

"What?" the stunned Double D asked.

"Never mind," Nazz said. "Um, well, you became a respected member of the scientific community. You now have many scientists working under you. This is the head building of the many buildings you own. Only the world's best scientists work here. The scientists in the Scientist Training Lab you visited earlier today are actually respected, intelligent members of the scientific community, not scientist-trainees.

"The invention that they blew up was a new telescope that could see atoms up close," Nazz explained. "Normally, you would have gotten angry at them, to say the least. Okay, any questions?"

Double D was still trying to process the information she had told him. _Wow! Okay, Double D, _he thought, _start with the information you can handle most. _

"What happened to the other kids in the cul-de-sac?" he asked Nazz.

"Jimmy and Johnny currently work here," Nazz explained, "in the Environmental Restoration Act section of this building, in fact. Rolf works with some of the plants in the garden. He also runs various tests on the plants for various experiments."

"What about Kevin?" Double D asked.

Nazz paused. "He- he died. Motorcycle accident…."

"Oh…." Double D mumbled. "Well, um, who was that Asian scientist I talked to earlier?"

"Doctor Mizuuki," Nazz answered. Suddenly, a beeping sound filled the room. Double D jumped up about a mile.

"Sorry, Double D, I'm being paged. I'll be right back," she explained, walking out of the room.

Nazz pulled out the small walky-talky. "Second in command reporting. What is it, Number 22?"

"Why didn't you tell first in command about the project?" Number 22 asked.

A second voice broke in, "And why did you tell him I was dead!"

"I didn't explain the project to the first in command because it is not the right time. He might try to abort the mission if he knows about it too early. Remember, he used to like the humans, and being in an amnesiac state, he might like the species again."

"And what about me, hm?" the second voice demanded.

"Kevin," Nazz explained, "if I told him you were alive, he would wonder where you were, and I'd have to make up lies on your behalf. And what are you doing on this line, anyway?"

"Um, you should probably go back to first in command, now, second," Number 22 said. "Number 22, signing off!"

"Why dose Number 22 always announce when he is signing off?" Nazz asked with a sigh.


	7. Chapter 7: Ed

**Disclaimer:** Ed, Edd N Eddy and all its characters are copyright AKA Cartoon. I am not using them for profit; I am simply using them to practice my own writing skills….

**Author: **Well, this chapter is somewhat like the last chapter, except instead of featuring Edd, it features Ed. Also, this chapter is a little more action-packed and dramatic then the last one. (In other words, it isn't as boring.) Oh, and in the chapter, you will be introduced to the parallel-universe government. Does it seem familiar to another form of government? Kudos to anyone who can guess what I based the government off of.

Chapter Seven: The Great Space-Creation Crystal of Life (AKA the EdCrystal)

Ed sat down, looking around at the huge hall. The hall was like something out of a comic-book he had read, but had forgotten the name of…. According to the alien, this was the meeting hall. Here, he would explain everything to them, and they would explain everything to him.

"Ed?" Skuashi asked.

"Yeah," Ed responded, not really paying much attention.

"Um, could you explain where you came from and how you got here?" Skuashi asked.

Ed nodded. Then he (enthusiastically) started explaining, "I was born on Earth in a parallel dimension. I always hung with my buddies, Eddy and Double D, and tried to keep away from my scary baby sister! Then, one day, we were out looking for something in the backyard- when all of a sudden a loud noise came from the bushes!

"WOOSH, WOOSH! The noise went. Fearfully, me and my pals went to see what it was- and Eddy captured a fairy-thing! It said its name was Fay, and that it was a Fairixie that could transport you to parallel universes! We agreed and suddenly a vortex appeared in the sky and picked me up and I was on Ion!"

All three of the characters groaned. "Fairixies," Transformer-Saraline whined.

"Huh?" Ed asked.

"Fairixies are a species that live in a solar system in the far reaches of the galaxy," the alien explained, "on the planets **Fair**-AA1 and **Ixie**-**S**RR1A, hence their name. They can teleport into parallel universes. It makes sense that a Fairixie would do this."

"Oh," Ed said.

"Well, I guess it is our turn to explain. I am Skuashi, an advisor of Ed, a member of the Cabinet of the Space Rangers, Division A. I come from the planet Pengua33, and I am of the Pengua species," Skuashi said.

The alien continued, "My name is TargonTroi, and I am a Darshion. I come from the planet Darsh, and, too, am of the Cabinet of Space Rangers, Division A."

"My name is Transformer-Saraline," Saraline introduced, "and I am human, but I have Transformer blood running through my veins. I also am of the Cabinet of Space Rangers, Division A. Call me Saraline."

"And, in this universe," Skuashi explained, "you are also a part of the Cabinet of Space Rangers."

"COOL!" Ed yelled.

"Hm," Saraline mumbled. "There has to be an easier way to explain this- aha!"

With that, Saraline took out the device, and said, "This is a Space Ranger Communication Link, Type: Wrist Watch. Or, for short, SR-ComLink-WW. It can analyze things, and teleport things, too. I am going to use the SR-ComLink-WW to teleport this old DVD I watched in school about the government. It should explain everything."

The SR-ComLink-WW, which was what Saraline had scanned Ed with in a previous chapter, looked just like a wrist watch, except instead of being small and circle-shaped it was rather large and square shaped and obviously digital. Saraline typed something on the miniature keypad, and a DVD appeared in a green beam of light.

A huge video screen appeared at the end of the hall. All four of them sat down at the table, watching the DVD. The narrator of the DVD went on to introduce the purpose of the DVD- to explain the government to the residents of Earth- before telling some more interesting information.

_Narrator: There are many legends about the creation of the universe. A rather popular one is that our current leader, Ed, created the universe._

(A picture of Ed holding the crystal on his suit in his hands appeared. The camera zoomed in on the crystal.)

_Narrator: Ed holds the most powerful device in the universe. This device is a crystal of immense magical properties. This crystal's name is The Great Space-Creation Crystal of Life, or, as it has recently been nicknamed, the EdCrystal. Ed is the only person who has the power to operate the EdCrystal, and, as such, is the leader of the Space Rangers. _

(A picture of a guy wearing a suit similar to Ed's pointing at the sky appeared)

_Narrator: The Space Rangers are our form of government. They are our leaders and our protectors. The majority of Space Rangers are warriors. In fact, that is how all Space Rangers start out. But, through a long process, these Space Rangers could become a part of the Cabinet of the Space Rangers. _

(A diagram appears, with the words Cabinet of the Space Rangers in bold at top)

_Narrator: The Cabinet of the Space Rangers is our leader. The Cabinet is divided into three divisions, each with their own special jobs. _

(Division A, second on the diagram, bolds)

_Narrator: Division A enforces the laws of our universe. The members of Division A include Ed, Ed's protectors, and the top officials of the Space Rangers._

(Division B, under Division A, becomes bold)

_Narrator: But who creates the laws that Division A enforces? Why, that would be Division B. In Division B, a person from each planet under the Space Ranger's rule represents their planet in the making of laws. While in Division B, one group of representatives creates laws and the other approves it._

(Division C becomes bold)

_Narrator: But what do all those laws mean, anyway? Division C decides that. Division C is, basically, an Ultimate Court. Thank you for watching our video; for more information on the Cabinet of the Space Rangers, check out our follow-up videos…._

Ed blinked as the credits appeared. _That video was very weird_, he thought. It was like a mixture of a really boring history video and a sci-fi movie.

"That movie," TargonTroi said, "was okay, but they forgot to mention a very important thing."

"What?" Ed asked. He resisted the urge to add, _buttered toast?_

"The Kanker Alliance," TargonTroi, Skuashi and Saraline said in unison.

Ed's blood ran cold. He resisted the urge to run away at the sound of the ultra-threatening siblings' names. Ed began to understand why the Fairixie sent him here- he was going to be a space hero and stop his worst fear…. "Kankers?"

"Kankers; yes. Do you recognize the name?" TargonTroi asked.

Ed nodded. "They were the scariest people I ever met in my home dimension."

"Well, guess what. Here, they are scarier," Saraline said. "But let us explain what the Kanker Alliance is."

"Or, even better, the Kankers," Skaushi said. "The Kankers were a very scary, and strong, species. The Kanker species was the 'big bully' of the galaxy. However, when their planet was destroyed, the Kanker species went extinct."

"Or so we thought," Saraline continued. "In actuality, three particularly nasty Kankers had survived. Those three were Lee-der-dum, May-toe-jam, and Marie-mop-plop."

Ed blinked at the sound of the similar names. It figures that Lee, May and Marie would be in his "perfect" universe.

"Unbeknownst to us," TargonTroi continued, "the Kankers were forming an alliance. The Kanker Alliance, as it became known, consisted of people who hated the Space Rangers and Ed."

"All was quiet and well in the universe," Skuashi continued, "but then the Kanker Alliance struck."

"We were unprepared for the rebellion," Saraline said, "and the Kankers hurt us bad."

"Many Space Ranger-supporting planets were left destroyed or in ruins," TargonTroi continued.

"Before we could organize ourselves to fight back," Skuashi said, "they had already made it to Earth."

"On Earth," Saraline said slowly, "there was a group of people prepared to fight though. Those people where the Transformers…. It was horrible. The Kankers had gained so much power, but from where? We dropped like flies. About mid-battle, I fell down. I was lucky, actually, that I fainted. If I had not fainted, they would have killed me. But that's beside the point; the point is that most of the Transformers fell and the three Kankers, Lee-der-dum, May-toe-jam, and Marie-mop-plop, made it to this palace."

Skuashi continued, very quiet, "The video was actually inaccurate, Ed. There were two people that could handle the power of the EdCrystal."

It didn't take a genius to figure out where Skuashi was going; a cold feeling entered Ed's stomach. He was afraid to learn what happened next, but stayed quiet.

"One of those people was you," Skuashi followed up, "and the other person was your sister, Sarah. It was a little known fact that Sarah could handle the EdCrystal, but, unfortunately, the Kankers had learned this fact."

"They killed Sarah," TargonTroi continued. "They also killed Jimmy, one of the best Space Rangers in the universe, who was with her at the time."

"Your parallel had heard that the Kankers were heading towards the castle," Saraline said, "and he rushed to get to there. He ran into Sarah's room just in time to see the Lee-der-dum drop Sarah, dead. In anger, Ed pulled out the EdCrystal and sent out a wave of power that practically sucked out all of the Kankers' strength. But the Kankers managed to escape, taking Jimmy and Sarah's dead bodies with them."

"The rebellion was stopped, soon afterwards; many of the rebels died and the other rebels went into hiding. The damage was immense," Skuashi said.

Ed was stunned at the information he was being told. How could this be a perfect universe for him if Sarah was dead? Sure, he wasn't exactly the Number 1 member in the Sarah fan club, but she was his sister!

"The reason we are telling you this, Ed," TargonTroi explained, "is because we think that the Kankers are planning another rebellion…."

Suddenly, the four heard a crash from behind them. A too familiar said, "You sure got that right, alien."


	8. Chapter 8: Eddy

**Disclaimer:** Ed, Edd N Eddy and all its characters are copyright AKA Cartoon. I am not using them for profit; I am simply using them to practice my own writing skills….

**Author: **And now, here comes a twist in the Eddy plot line! Seems like life isn't going to be so simple anymore for our Eddy anymore…. On with Eddy's story!

Chapter Eight- Level 1: The (Really, really creepy) Basement

Eddy looked around the hall to find any recognizable landmark. After the horrible realization that he was stuck in this parallel universe, he wanted to see _anything_ familiar- even Lady Allith!

Not recognizing anything, he decided to open a few doors. The first door he opened led into a room much like his bedroom from the first level of the_ Mansyonn_- almost identical, except for the wallpaper. Eddy blinked, but then remembered he had many bedrooms in this twisted universe. "Maybe," he said, eyeing the computer, "I can find a map of this place on the internet."

Eddy logged in and typed in the search box, _map of the mansyonn, _and pressed enter. A few seconds later, a list of links appeared. The first link was titled, "Mansyonn Map". He was about to click on it when another link caught his eye: "PeopleFinder- Map of the World's People…"

He clicked on that link instead. Eddy was surprised when he read the summary of the website- apparently, in Eddy's parallel's universe, everyone was listed under the PeopleFinder Association from their moment of birth. With the right tools (a.k.a. cash and passwords) you could go on the website and, basically, learn about everybody in the world. Of course, only simple things- name, birth date, a picture (perhaps) and whether they are a threat or not- are listed on the site. Eddy, of course, had the cash, and for some reason, he knew the account by heart.

After he logged in, he clicked on the Person Search Box, and typed in Eddy McRich. Up popped:

_Name: Eddy McRich_

_Birth Date: _(Author: make something up!)

_Pictures: Link_

_Place of Birth: McRich Hospital, _(Somecity, Blankstate), _USA _

_Important Information: _(Went on to describe information we already know about Eddy's parallel)

Eddy nodded. "Hm… I wonder if Double D exists." He typed in Double D's full name. Up popped:

_No results. Try again._

He did the same with Ed's name, and got the same results.

Eddy blinked. For the second, he was speechless. His mouth opened, prepared to yell at Fay, but out squeaked, "What?"

Suddenly, he heard people talking in the hall. He walked up to the closed door and opened it just a crack, listening in on the conversation.

The first voice, shrill with anger, was one that he recognized. It belonged to Lady Allith. "I don't care if your shift is over; I want you to find that brat!"

The second voice Eddy didn't recognize. The wimpy, scared voice said, "But, Lady Allith, the- the size of the mansion- we'd never find Eddy in time for class to begin-"

"I don't care!" Lady Allith screamed in a very unrich-like tone. "Just find that boy in time for the daily tours! And don't let him in the basement!"

The scared voice turned a bit curious and asked, "Why shouldn't I let him in the basement?"

Lady Allith's voice lowered to a loud whisper, and Eddy could barely hear what she said. "That's none of your business." Louder, she said, "If you want to keep your job, I suggest you send all of the security personnel in the _Mansyonn _to find him!"

The second voice, shrilled and terrified, squeaked, "Yes ma'am!"

Eddy could hear the sound of the man talking into a walky-talky as he ran into a different hallway.

Lady Allith was alone in the hall. "Stupid commoners. Only rich people should be allowed to live…" Eddy could almost hear the snootiness in her step as she walked away.

Eddy blinked. _Wow_, he thought, _I just learned a lot more then I ever learned from school right there. _For one, Lady Allith really, really, **really** hated non-rich people. Two, Lady Allith obviously had more power then just being a teacher, as he formerly thought she was. And, three, he realized with a blink, a bunch of people where trying to find him right now….

"I better get out of here," he whispered, wishing he could just leave that whole universe. Quietly, he stepped into the hall, careful not to make any sound at all-

"Over here! I heard something over here!" A voice from around the corner cried.

Eddy burst out into a run. He turned left, hearing the shouts from behind him grow louder, and ran straight into a dead end. "Oh no- oh yes!"

On the right wall, Eddy saw what looked like an elevator. He quickly pressed the down button, and when the door opened, he jumped in. He looked at the button choices- levels 1 to 20. He frantically pressed the level 1 button twenty times before the door closed. To Eddy, level 1 was the best choice because it was closest to the backyard, where there were many hiding places (and, perhaps, where Fay could hear his plea to escape this world.)

To Eddy's surprise, though, level 1 was not floor-level. When he stepped out of the elevator, he was greeted with total darkness. A few seconds later, a light flickered on. He was in a very small basement- it wasn't even big enough to fit a bed in. Startled by the fact that this fancy mansion had a basement, he stood there dazed- until he remembered what Lady Allith said.

"I wonder why Lady Allith didn't want me to go in here," he said. Then, in a mock-Allith voice, he answered his own question. "Eddy, rich people cannot soil their feet by touching a dirty old basement floor."

He smiled slightly, absentmindedly walking forward, when suddenly he tripped. "OOF!"

He stood up, brushing his shirt off. "What did I trip on?" Even in the dull lighting, he could see the tree root sticking out of the ground. "What the heck?" he asked as he bent down and touched the root, examining it.

The root started trembling at his touch. Eddy jumped back from it, staring at it with wide eyes. The root stopped moving. Eddy inched back to the root and pulled it upwards. To his surprise, the root came up without a struggle- and so did the wall in front of it.

The wall revealed a brightly lit, office-like room. The room was very, very long with an equally long desk. At least twenty chairs surrounded the table, and neatly piled stacks of papers where located in front of each one. It looked very much like the meeting rooms in large businesses Eddy had seen on TV, except the walls were made of dirt and there were no windows.

Eddy blinked, and, dazedly, walked up to one of the chairs. He looked at the first page of paperwork- and, to his surprise, found his name written in bold red letters that filled up the entire first page.

He sat down, prepared to look through the papers, when, to his surprise, giant, skinny televisions slid from slots in the ceiling and replace the dirt walls. A video started playing, and Eddy was surprised to see Lady Allith's face on the screen.

"Welcome to another meeting," the recorded message said, "Of the Eddy McRich Assassination Plot, or EMAP. Stage Three has started, and I am sorry that I cannot attend the meeting today, but next meeting I shall explain all in person. But, until then, I have left instructions in your Anti-McRich Files. The next meeting shall be held just three days before the big McRich Homeless People Charity Parade at three o clock. Goodbye."

The video turned off then was replaced with the dirt walls again. Before Eddy allowed himself to think, he looked through the papers. Quickly, he found a page labeled, "Stages."

_Stage One_, it said, _the getting-into-power stage. Check._

_Stage Two, the gain Eddy's trust stage. Check._

_Stage Three, the assassination. _

Eddy just stared for a minute. "Oh, no."


	9. Chapter 9: Double D

**Disclaimer:** Ed, Edd N Eddy and all its characters are copyright AKA Cartoon. I am not using them for profit; I am simply using them to practice my own writing skills….

**Author: **Wow, I just reread Chapter Six and realized there were a million errors in it. Most were grammar, but some, like the part were Nazz said Double D fixed the toxic waste problem, had inaccurate information. (Even if you did change the number of electrons, you would not get a new element…) I'm sorry about the errors, and I certainly hope this chapter doesn't have as many!

Also… about today's chapter name… yeah...

Chapter Nine: The Busiest Schedule EVER, a.k.a. "Sorry, can't talk. I've just cured the Common Cold and I have fifteen more cures to find this hour."

It was nearly impossible for Double D to comprehend all the things he had learned that day, and Double D could comprehend a lot. _I've created devices that can change atoms… Kevin's dead… I've fixed the ozone layer… Nazz is my wife… I've saved extinct species… Nazz is my wife…. _

It was a perfect world, almost. Double D was famous and Nazz was his wife. He was a scientist and inventor, and scientists he admired worked for HIM! But that did not satisfy him…. He knew this world could never be perfect because he did not create these things- his counterpart did. (Also, Eddy and Ed did not exist, and his parallel was a slob.)

"Double D sir?"

Double D looked up to see a girl of about five years peaking in shyly through the door. That was the first time anyone had called him by his nickname all day. "Yes?" he responded.

However, Nazz spoke before the girl could talk. "Stephanie! What have I told you about calling Eddward that name? Also, didn't I say not to bug your father at this time?"

Double D blinked. Did Nazz just say that girl was his child?

"But, mom- Nazz, ma'am," Stephanie corrected herself, "the president just wanted to talk to da- Eddward, sir."

Nazz looked at her watch. "They're a bit early," she mumbled to herself. To Stephanie, she said, "Good girl. Now, go play with the other kids at the nursery."

"But, mommy, all of them are either babies or mean bully seven-year-olds!" Stephanie cried.

Nazz smiled. "Well than, I guess you can go visit Doctor Mizuuki."

Stephanie cheered. She then ran off. Nazz's smile faded as the young girl walked away. For a second, Double D was sure that Nazz had a look of sorrow in her eye. However, the look quickly disappeared.

"Who was that?" Double D asked.

Nazz stepped into the room. "I guess I forgot to mention our daughter…. Her name is Stephanie, and she's five. But we'll have to talk about her later- the president is waiting, and he's an impatient man!"

"But what should I say? I don't have a clue-"

"Oh, don't worry," Nazz said. "He's just here to whi- I mean, tell us of more problems in the country we need to fix."

_Was Nazz about to say "whine"? _Double D wondered. He began to wonder if Nazz disliked the President.

"All you have to do is nod and say 'Yes, sir'," Nazz continued. "I'll respond to anything that may need a different, or more thorough, response."

"But won't the President be suspicious if I don't talk much?" Double D asked.

"No," Nazz responded, "but if it were a week from now, he would be very suspicious."

Double D blinked. He was about to ask why, but Nazz grabbed his hand and said they needed to hurry. They ran through dozens of over illuminated hallways, stopping to enter two or three elevators. Despite the long distance, though, the whole trip seemed to only be a minute in Double D's eye.

As they entered the fourth elevator, Nazz put on a wide smile. Double D puzzled over this for a second before he realized why she was smiling. Obviously, the President was just outside the door. Double D put on a nervous grin, but Nazz shook her head. "Don't."

Double D's smile disappeared, and, for the fiftieth time that day, he felt puzzled.

The elevator doors opened, and Nazz walked out in a dignified manner. Double D imitated her. The room they entered contained a very long desk (AN: think the desk in the previous chapter, where Eddy found out he was going to be murdered…) with multiple chairs. In one chair at the end of the table sat a somewhat familiar looking man, who wore a big grin. The man was surrounded by guards, and one of the guards held up an American flag. The man, presumably the President, looked as if he was in his early fifties, with gray-brown hair and kind brown eyes. His skin also seemed to look as if it was naturally pale, but had been in a tanning both many times. He was of middle weight, and was short.

Oddly enough, the man reminded Double D of Santa Claus.

Nazz offered Double D a seat, the one opposite the President. After he sat, she, herself, took a seat to the right of him.

"Good day, Eddward, Nazz. You look excellent today, Nazz!" The President greeted. His voice was just as kind as his eyes.

"Thank you, sir," Nazz said with a small smile. Double D noticed that the smile seemed real. No, it didn't seem like Nazz hated the President at all! What had he been thinking earlier?

"And Eddward, I must congratulate you on your recent discovery about Alzheimer's disease! Why, many people are saying that this discovery will put an end to the disease!" The President said, excitedly. "How do you do it?"

Double D looked nervously at Nazz. In the back of his head, he thought, _Alzheimer's, too? How many accomplishments has my parallel made? _

Before Double D or Nazz had a chance to respond, a man walked him through the door located behind the President. All the security guards turned around and said, in unison, "Hello, Mr. President."

Double D blinked. If that was the President walking in through the doors, than who was…

"That person we just talked to," Nazz whispered to him, "was the Vice President. He's really nice. The person walking in is the President. He probably forgot some files, or something, and left the Vice to greet us."

Double D looked up at the man who had just walked in, and was now sitting down where the Vice President formerly sat. The man looked serious, mean and tired. He had studious gray eyes behind thin-wired glasses, and a mop of neatly-trimmed brown hair on his head. Except for his lips, which seemed permanently coiled in a frown, the man's face was monotony and boring. The suit the man wore added onto the boring, serious ensemble. Double D hadn't spent three seconds in the room with him, but already he knew why Nazz wasn't his biggest fan.

"I see you've _finally_ found important knowledge about Alzheimer's," the President said in a cold tone. "The cure _might_ be found soon. I trust your organization is working on it?"

"Yes, sir," Double D said cautiously. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Nazz scribble something down on a notepad.

"I have brought a few graphs and charts with me," the President explained in a serious voice, "that explain the rate that some diseases are spreading, and also the percentage of people overweight. Although your diet plan _has_ brought the percentage of overweight people in the world down by 10 percent, there is still a large amount of large people."

The President paused to laugh at his own stupid joke. Nazz scowled and wrote down more information.

"The storm rate has increased by ten percent over the last year," the President continued, still, "and has caused many damages among the west coast. Fix it."

"Yes, sir," Double D responded, although inside he was thinking, _FIX the weather? _

The President stared at Double D, eyes hardly blinking. In the same boring voice, he droned, "And the divorce rates of this country have increased by sixteen-point-three-one percent. Perhaps your education department should send another video to the schools explaining dating and marriage, or, more importantly, choosing the right person to date and marry. The last video did not go so well, and I expect this one to be better."

Double D managed to say, "Yes, sir," without yelling. _This man is infuriating, _he thought. _How am I supposed to control the general public's thoughts? _

"This meeting is adjourned," the President stated quite simply before handing Nazz a few files and walking out the door with his thirty or so body guards.

Double D watched as they left, and after they had left, turned to Nazz. "What was _that_ about?" he asked.

Nazz looked up from the information she was writing down. "Oh? You mean the President's demands? He's always like that. Nerve-racking, isn't it?"

Double D shook his head. "How did he ever manage to be the President?"

"Oh," Nazz said again, "He doesn't act that way in _public_, Eddward. Well, I better go put send this report to the secretaries. The President's going to expect progress in about a week, if not a few days, so the sooner we get this all scheduled out, the better. Until then, here is your schedule for tomorrow."

Nazz handed Double D a piece of paper. It was a schedule, and when Double D saw what was written on it, he nearly fainted.

It wasn't the ridiculousness of the demands, or the cramped time he had to do it that terrified Double D (although it sure helped). It was the number of things he had to do.

_8:00-8:30- Check out the Nuclear Bomb section, and see how close they are to being finished on the improved bomb; review blueprints with scientists_

_8:30-9:00- Check out the Anti-Warfare Sector, and share with them blueprints and model of Nuclear Bomb Shield _

_9:00-9:10- Breakfast (Don't eat the toaster pastries- they are currently under an experiment- Nazz)_

_9:15-10:00- Filing, signing documents, ext; see Secretary Department for more information _

_10:00-10:30- Research on sickle cell anemia (Hurry! Tropical countries expecting news soon- Nazz)_

_10:30-10:35- Check on Stephanie_

_10:40-11:50- Filming for school movie "Playground Safety- Part Three: Virtual Reality Equipment"_

_11:50-12:05- Help editors with editing the above film_

_12:05-12:35- Lunch with Sh'cool Shoes, Inc President; discuss new shoe design (#22, not #15- Nazz)_

_12:40-2:40- Research cell-stimuli in plants_

_2:45-3:00-Report on plant cloning process _

_3:00-3:30- BREAK (You'll need to pick up Stephanie from school and send her to the daycare now; sorry hun –Nazz)_

_3:45-4:45- Help Trainee Scientists with work_

_4:50-6:00- Make sure the prototype teleporter machine is being built correctly_

_6:00-7:00- Test psychology measures _

_7:00-8:00- Dinner, break and planning on future cures for amnesia with scientists (I'll pick up Stephanie tonight, dear- Nazz)_

_8:05-9:00- Sort through public health updates and make measures accordingly_

_9:45-11:05- Meeting; followed by shower and bed_

Double D looked up at Nazz. "You're kidding, right?" he asked after a few seconds of stunned silence.

Nazz looked over the paper. "Nope. Actually, this is one of the shorter days. You usually wake up earlier." Nazz then noted the look on Double D's face. "Don't worry, though. I'll try to cancel a few of these sessions and try to be with you for the others. However, my schedule is somewhat busy, too."

Double D nodded. He reread the list, and the last one caught his eye. "Um, Nazz? What does the last one mean? I mean, about the meeting."

Nazz looked at it. "Don't worry about that. In fact, let me fix it."

Double D handed Nazz the paper, and she crossed off the last one. Before Double D could say anything, Nazz said, "It's late, Eddward. You should be heading off to bed."

And so, Nazz led Double D to his room, and closed the door when she knew he was in bed.

"He's like a child," she whispered. She then pulled out her walky-talky. "Second in command reporting. First in command shall not be attending tomorrow night's meeting."

A yawn came out of the walky-talky. "Okay, ma'am," a sluggish voice responded.

Nazz smiled. "Get some sleep, #22."

"'K. #22…signing off!"

Nazz sighed. "Some habits you just can't break…."


	10. Chapter 10: Ed

**Disclaimer:** Ed, Edd N Eddy and all its characters are copyright AKA Cartoon. I am not using them for profit; I am simply using them to practice my own writing skills….

**Author: **Wow, it feels like a long time since I wrote about Ed! Oh, and I ended last (Ed) chapter with a cliff hanger! I don't know if next chapter will be about Eddy. It might be about Ed, as his plotline is important to the whole outcome of the fanfic…. I speak/type too much. Anyway, enjoy.

Chapter Eight: Attack of the Kanker Alliance

"_The reason we are telling you this, Ed," TargonTroi explained, "is because we think that the Kankers are planning another rebellion…."_

_Suddenly, the four heard a crash from behind them. A too familiar said, "You sure got that right, alien." _

"The Kankers!" TargonTroi yelled.

"How'd they get through the security system?" Saraline gasped. Ed gaped at the enemy….

There were three of them, and in the center stood one who looked an awful lot like Lee. However, unlike Lee, her skin was a grayish-greenish fur, and her clothing consisted of shining chrome armor- chrome boots; chrome, triangular chest plates; chrome pants…. She had a fancy and intricate chrome crown, and she held a faultless sword. Her fingers looked like miniature gun barrels (covered in fur) and oozed green, undoubtedly poisonous, slime; her lips had two threatening, glittering fangs, also oozing green slime; and from her back came two gigantic bat-like wings.

Oh, yeah; she was also about five times the size of Lee, with muscles that made The Hulk's look tiny. _She looks even scarier than in my worstest worst nightmares about her! _Ed thought.

To the right of the Lee-look-a-like stood the most petit (and I use this term _extremely_ lightly) of the Kankers. She looked a lot like Marie- if Marie had green scales, of course. She wore a crown identical to Lee's, but her outfit was different. She wore a long black dress, and on her thick wrists and large neck, thorny chrome spikes. Her shoes were black army boots, and she wore a chrome belt around her waist. She was two times smaller than Lee, which was still _extremely_ large. In one hand, the Marie-clone held a large, threatening blaster-like machine; in the other, a gigantic flail. She had small, black angel wings on her back.

To the other side of Lee's clone stood someone who looked like May. May's doppelganger was just a size smaller than Lee, but her arm and leg muscles were bigger than Lee's. May's double had green scales and green, scaly wings. Her outfit was a lot like a military outfit, except made out of a dull, grainy silver metal; also, she wore a crown (instead of a helmet) like Lee's. The creature's hands and toes (the creature wore no boots) looked like little knives. On May's back were bat-like, green wings.

Ed was terrified. Until that moment, he couldn't imagine anything scarier than the Kankers from his universe. Those Kankers seemed like a scratch of the back compared to the Kankers of this universe.

"Getting through your little security system was easy," the Lee-creature said with a smile. "The guards dropped like flies."

Ed continued to gape. Saraline suddenly had a bad feeling; she grabbed SR-Comlink-WW and started to scan the three Kankers. Skuashi and TargonTroi stepped in front of Ed.

"What are you doing here?" Skuashi squeaked/hissed.

The Kankers, who ignored Saraline scanning them, stepped forward. Marie responded, "Oh, we came with a message."

"The Kanker Alliance has reformed," May explained, holding up one of her claws threateningly. "We're stronger than ever."

"And we're after him!" Lee-der-dum yelled, pointing at Ed. "His crystal will give us the power to take over the UNIVERSE!"

"You can't operate the EdCrystal," Skuashi retorted.

"Yes, we can," Lee said with a condescending smirk. "And why?"

Saraline gasped. "The energy readings… they're off the charts! There is only one thing that can match these energy readings…."

"The EdCrystal?" Ed asked, finally able to speak.

Saraline nodded. (In this twisted universe, Ed's answers were correct a lot of the time.)

"What? How?" TargonTroi asked.

Marie looked at a clock located on the wall behind Ed and his protectors. "Oh, we'd love to explain," she said, "but we have to go. Don't wanna be here when the bombs go off. See ya… very, very soon."

And, with that, Marie-mop-plop, May-toe-jam and Lee-der-dum flew out the window they broke.

"Bomb?" Ed shouted.

"We have to get out of here!" Skuashi yelled.

"Quick!" Skuashi yelled to TargonTroi, "Create a teleporter!"

"Where to?"

"I don't know!" Skuashi yelled.

"Plankstar!" Saraline suggested.

The room around them started to rumble. _Whoa, big bomb,_ Ed thought. It had to have been if it could shake the whole entire GIGANTIC palace-thing. _Wait- Plankstar?_

Suddenly, a portal appeared under the four. As the four fell in, Ed screaming all the way, an explosion was heard overhead….


	11. Chapter 11: Eddy

**Disclaimer:** Ed, Edd N Eddy and all its characters are copyright AKA Cartoon. I am not using them for profit; I am simply using them to practice my own writing skills….

**Author: ** Hey, everybody! No, I'm not a zombie, I'm lazy. Well, last time we left off with Eddy, he had just uncovered an assassination plot. The twist? It's an assassination plot… to kill HIM! Oh, and last chapter (the one featuring Ed) was chapter ten not chapter eight. Sorry about the error.

Chapter Eleven- Four Days till the McRich Homeless People Charity Parade of DOOM!

Eddy stared at the paper. "No, this can't be right. It can't say assassination. It can't! It must say- assistance! Yeah, that's right! They want to assist me because I am such a great person! And even if it is an assassination plot, it can't be _mine_!"

Eddy's hand instinctively flipped the paper with the stages listed on it over. A detailed description of his assassination greeted his eyes. Apparently, eleven days before the McRich Charity Parade, Eddy would do his monthly update of his will. Eddy paused, and looked at the date of the Parade. It was in four days, so the will had already been updated.

Apparently, Eddy had his own float in the parade. At the beginning of the parade, Eddy would walk from the inside to the top of the float, and do his special routine of throwing out bundles of cash to the people in the sidelines. (This was everyone's favorite part of the parade.) Around the middle, Eddy would start a speech stating how there were too many homeless people, and his future plans to bring the homelessness rate down from the current rate of 9 to 0.

As Eddy would reach a middle part of the speech, a woman by the name of Rachel Motstrugaa would collect a gun from her ex-husband, Rolf…

Eddy paused. "Rolf?" He was surprised that Rolf existed in this universe. "Rolf is in on this? I always assumed Kevin or Sarah would do something like this…."

… Rachel would deliver this gun to Derrick Rosomon, who, Eddy figured out relatively quickly, was the father of Ilene and Irene Rosomon. Derrick Rosomon, would be on the top of a WalK-Mart, the perfect place to position his gun….

The next part he read scared him the most. Eddy's speech and the parade would end with Eddy declaring a dance, and Lady Allith's oldest adopted daughter, _Lee Kanker_ Allith, would be his partner. The dance would be cut short, however, when Derrick Rosomon shot both Lee and Eddy.

During the funeral, Lady Allith would read Eddy's will. Eddy's will included a LARGE amount of money given to Lee, and Allith would take this money for the Eddy McRich Assassination Plot….

Suddenly, Eddy heard the slight shuffle of feet walking against dirt from behind him. He heard a tough voice growl, "Kevin, collect the papers for me."

"Yes, _sir_," a voice Eddy never thought he would be relieved to hear snarled. Kevin did exist in his universe… but was he plotting to assassinate him, like Rolf?

"That is Sir Derrick Rosomon to you, servant."

"And why should I call you that?" Kevin's voice snapped, angrier than usual.

"… With a clap of my hands you could be left starving on the streets again, servant." Derrick Rosomon's voice said, dangerously quiet.

Kevin's voice squeaked as he said, "Yes, Sir Derrick Rosomon." Eddy then heard Kevin running down the old stairs-

Old stairs! How could Eddy have missed those in this tiny basement? That was when Eddy realized he needed to hide…. So, his legs decided it was the perfect time to freeze up, of course.

Eddy watched as Kevin, who was wearing a butler's uniform (Eddy almost had to stifle a laugh) and dark sunglasses, approached the room. Eddy gulped- he was just out of Kevin's sight. "That's weird," he saw Kevin mumble. "The weird hidden meeting room thing is already open."

Eddy froze. Kevin walked right up to Eddy, but suddenly took a step toward the table. Eddy blinked- Kevin hadn't seen him at all! Eddy quickly looked down at his hands to make sure he wasn't turning invisible or something crazy.

"Darn it, are these Rosomon's papers? Fricken, stupid, evil disease. I'm practically going blin-" Kevin suddenly froze. "Is someone there?"

Eddy stood up straighter and held his breath. Kevin stared in his direction, seeming to notice Eddy for the first time. Eddy started to panic- Kevin was going to attack him, he knew it!

"I never did understand why these freaks have a McRich dummy down here. I don't get why they meet here, either," Kevin mumbled. He turned back to the papers and swiftly picked them up. "I don't think McRich would keep his dogs in this room."

Muttering, Kevin left the basement, walking up the stairs. Eddy finally allowed himself to breath- Kevin hadn't seen him _at all_. But why? Kevin had said something about a disease-

Eddy blinked. He was sure he heard Kevin and Derrick Rosomon walking away. Eddy took one last look at the room behind him, and ran to the elevator as quick as he could.

The elevator opened with a ping. Eddy jumped in, shaking as realization hit him truly: in four days, he would be dead. Eddy pressed the second level button, and, as the doors closed, yelled desperately, "FAY! GET ME OUT OF HERE! What do you want me to say? I shouldn't be so greedy? FINE! I DON'T WANT MONEY ANYMORE; JUST GET ME OUT OF HERE!"

His pleads were only heard by the elevator walls. Suddenly, the elevator door opened, and Eddy stepped out-

-and right onto a butler's foot. "Sorry," Eddy whispered, hardly paying attention. He took a step forward- he was stuck here, in this terrible parallel universe in which he was so rich he had an assassination planned. Eddy should have listened to Double D, back when he said,_ "We should be heading home, or we'll waste a perfectly good summer's day." _

"Sir Eddy?" He heard Kevin ask from behind him. Eddy quickly turned around, realizing that the foot he had stepped on was Kevin's.

"Uh, um-" Eddy paused, stammering. "Y-yes?"

"What were you doing down there, Eddy? I thought you hated the basement, you being allergic to dust and all," Kevin said casually. There was something else in his voice too, something Eddy didn't recognize… at least, not directed at _him_. Friendliness? Was Kevin being friendly toward Eddy?

Eddy laughed shakily. "I do hate that basement," he said. _Ha, I can say that again…_

"Are you okay?" Kevin asked, noting the waver in Eddy's voice. "You sound like you saw a ghost!"

"More like an assassination plot," Eddy mumbled.

"What?" Kevin said, concern filling his voice. "Did you say something about assassination?"

Before Eddy could respond, he heard someone call his name. Eddy turned around to see one of the scariest things he had ever seen….

He saw (the horror)… Lee Kanker… with her hair combed…in a silk dress! Before the realization that Lee was in a dress fully kicked in Eddy's mind, Lee was already hugging him. "Oh, Eddy, I feel like I haven't seen you in ages!"

Eddy blinked. Lee's voice didn't have its usual tough-girl tone, and her hug wasn't actually choking Eddy. What kind of universe was this? A blind Kevin and a nice Lee?

Two other girls ran up. Eddy recognized both of them as the girl he had seen earlier… Irene Rosomon… or, in this case, Irene and Ilene Rosomon. "Well, looks like you've found him," one of the girls said in a joking tone.

"Wait, Eddy, what did you say before?" Kevin interrupted.

Eddy chuckled. "Oh, nothing! Nothing at all!"

Kevin gave him a look that, even through his sunglasses, said he didn't believe him. Eddy chuckled, again, nervously.

"Is something wrong, Eddy?" Lee asked in a syrupy worried tone. Again, what kind of universe was this?

"Er," Eddy said.

"Hey, Eddy, there's no need to-" one of the twins was saying. However, she was interrupted.

"Sir Eddy Skipper McRich!" Eddy shuttered. Would this bad day ever end?

He turned around slowly to look at one of his assassinators… Lady Allith. "Eddy Skipper McRich, do you have any clue how much trouble you are in?"


	12. Chapter 12: Double D

**Disclaimer:** Ed, Edd N Eddy and all its characters are copyright AKA Cartoon. I am not using them for profit; I am simply using them to practice my own writing skills….

**Author: **Sorry that I haven't updated in a while. I've been busy with summer homework and the Sims 2. Darn that addicting game! Anyway, here is another bit from Double D's life. Here, Double D finds out just what his parallel is up too… and, as you'll read, he doesn't like it one bit. Agh… and I hope this doesn't have as many grammar errors as last chapter! I'm going to send in the chapters again with less grammar errors sooner or later…

Chapter Twelve- Behind the Happy Image (There is a Mission…)

Double D stared at the ceiling above him. He knew he should get some sleep and that the following day would be the definition of busy… but he couldn't sleep. And who can blame him? So much had happened in one day. Double D was still unable to completely wrap his brain around it.

He closed his eyes, thinking about random things. Stephanie… what was Stephanie truly like? Double D could tell that she was a troubled girl, and he wasn't quite fond of the way Nazz had demanded she call him "Edward Sir." Random images of the day filled his mind, and he wondered what his parallel was doing in his universe. Would Double D even be able to go back to his home universe? What if something happened, and he didn't exist in that universe anymore, and he had to stay in this planet forever, living a life not truly his own?

"Let's not worry about that, Double D," he scolded himself. He forcefully closed his eyes when a scene flashed back to him-

_"Ow!" Double D suddenly cried. He looked down at his hand. "Paper cut…" … If this was his perfect universe, he probably kept Band-Aids in his bedroom._

_Silently, he began looking around the desk for Band-Aids. While he was looking, a piece of paper fluttered to the ground. "This desk it so messy…" he muttered as he bent down to pick up the paper. He was about to put it back on the desk when the paper's title caught his eye…._

_Was the darkness of the room tricking his eyesight? Surely, it had to be. Why would Double D's parallel keep a paper titled, "Mission- Destruction?"_

"Mission Destruction?" he muttered to himself for the second time that day.

It couldn't be, of course. That wouldn't make any sense- why on Earth would he join any mission that plans for destruction? But Double D was too curious, and he had to find that paper and find out what it really said. He walked up to the messy desk, and looked around. Quickly, he found the paper…

"What?" he whispered.

The paper was titled Mission Destruction. His mind hadn't been playing tricks on him, after all, but still he rubbed his eyes and looked at the title again. It didn't change.

_Put the paper down, Eddward, _his mind warned him. _You don't want to know. Put it down and forget about it. _

Maybe his parallel was a fiction writer, too, and was writing a book called Mission Destruction. But surely, with his schedule, his parallel wouldn't have the time to write a novel. And, besides, wouldn't Double D's parallel give it a better name? Mission Destruction was corny… not as corny as Ed's books, but still a bit corny.

_Put the paper down, Eddward, please! Forget about it! You don't want to know, _his mind begged.

But he had to know….

Double D looked down at the paper and scanned it, catching glimpses of phrases in the dark. He read what he could of the blurred ink, "Ungrateful people… destroying life! End of the world!"

The last part of the smudges that he could read scared him the most. "And… and I'm the leader?" Double D squeaked.

"Maybe its not what it seems," he started talking to himself, as if though he were talking to Eddy or Ed. "Surely I wouldn't ever be desperate enough to destroy all humanity… or would I? No, no, of course not, Eddward. Maybe it says… maybe it says…"

He became aware that he was talking to himself and closed his mouth. _So many maybes…._

He grabbed the paper and slipped outside, where the hallway was painfully bright but thankfully empty. The paper was much easier to read in the bright hallway. Apparently, the paper was the initial plan to destroy all humanity, and it was written by more people then just himself. There was a bunch of handwriting, and not all of it belonged to Double D.

The plan was to escape to a specially made space station, where they would wait for a few months, just to see how desperate the world became without them. If the human species started to 'redeem' itself, then they would return to Earth, forgetting the plans, and continue to help the human race after setting up a few special conditions. If not, they would aim the space weaponry at the major cities of Earth and fill it with a special toxin that killed only humans… the toxin, called "Toxin Destruction" or "Toxin D", was particularly deadly because it could spread from one person to twenty-five others in just three seconds. Any person that had a lethal amount of this Toxin (about a quarter of a teaspoon of it) in there immune system would die in just a matter of minutes.

People who didn't have a lethal amount of it in their immune systems would still probably die quickly.

After the destruction of the people form the major cities, they would aim at lesser and lesser cities until there were only small suburbs and farmland. Then they would come back to Earth, after having taken a Toxin D immunity shot, and conquer it, putting many limitations on the humans and letting the world flourish with little influence from people.

In the case that anyone got a hold on any of the plans before this happened, they had one of the members of Mission Destruction claim they were writing a fiction novel entitled "Mission Destruction".

Double D reread the paper, frozen in shock.

"So, you know now, huh?"

Double D jumped up and looked behind him. It was Nazz, standing there and reading the paper over his shoulder. "I can't believe you left this paper on the desk where anyone could find it," Nazz sighed.

"Are you-"

"Yes, I am a member of Mission Destruction," she answered before Double D had a chance to ask. "Jimmy, Johnny, Rolf, Doctor Mizuuki and Kevin are members too."

"I thought that you said Kevin was dead!" Double D cried.

"Well, he did die in a motorcycle accident," Nazz said, "but you created something that brought him back to life… except, it brought him back to life… _different._"

Nazz shuddered when she said "different". She had a distant look in her eyes, as if though remembering the night when they brought Kevin back… from the dead. "Everyone who worked on the project agreed never to speak of it again, including Kevin. Then you destroyed that horrible device, deciding not to mess with life and death ever again."

Double D was silent. Nazz spoke up a few minutes later, "I'll take you to the meeting tomorrow, and you can meet the members yourself."

He still didn't respond. "Double D?"

"Why?" he finally asked.

Nazz didn't have to ask what he meant. She knew. Why on Earth would anyone want to kill so many people? She sighed…. She new he wouldn't understand. "If only you didn't have amnesia…."


	13. Chapter 13: Ed

**Disclaimer:** Ed, Edd N Eddy and all its characters are copyright AKA Cartoon. I am not using them for profit; I am simply using them to practice my own writing skills….

**Author: **I guess I should state this now- I'm a monthly updater, I guess. Anyway, this chapter is Ed-based, and the next one might be Ed-based, too; I'm not sure. This chapter we meet some familiar faces in some unfamiliar environments….

Chapter Thirteen: Plankstar

Ed fell, face down. Instantly, he got up and cried, "SPLIIINNNTTTERRRS!"

Saraline, Skuashi and TargonTroi had landed much more gracefully. Ed looked around at the environment- Plankstar. The sky was bright blue, and the sun was ENORMOUS! The white orb looked about the size of a truck in the sky!

They had landed in front of a gigantic wooden palace. The floor surrounding the palace for miles and miles was made of different types of wood; occasionally, in the distance, Ed spotted a patch of purple grass or a _gigantic_ tree growing from the ground. The palace, itself, was surrounded by hundreds of people wearing Space Ranger outfits. They started running up the four.

"Ed!" one cried. "Why on Alpha-Centauri did you come here? We weren't expecting a visit!"

"The Kankers," TargonTroi said forebodingly. The hustle and bustle of the Space Rangers stopped, and even the breeze seemed to freeze at the mention of the name. TargonTroi started explaining what had happened, not including the part about Ed being from a different universe, though. Meanwhile, Saraline helped him up.

"Are you okay, Ed?" Skuashi squeaked, worriedly.

Ed's eyes filled with tears, "Splinters…." He pointed to the giant splinter in his pointer finger.

Saraline sighed but Skuashi squeaked in fear and pulled out a pair of tweezers to pull the splinter away.

"Ed!"

Ed turned around when he heard the familiar voice, expecting to see a bald kid holding a piece of wood running toward him. He did see a bald kid… but Plank was missing, and the kid was walking quickly but diligently (not running). Johnny was draped in fine, leaf-based robes. He wore a shining, polished, wooden helmet, and his outfit under the robe was a brown-and-green colored Space Ranger outfit. In one hand, he held a long wooden scepter with engravings in a metal Ed recognized as Doritorium from his comic books. In the other hand, he held a pure-white blasting device. His skin seemed a darker shade of brown then Ed remembered, and his hands were green.

"This is King Johnny Plankstar the Third," Saraline quickly explained, "the leader of this planet and of the Plan-keans."

"Plan-keans?"

"The worshipers of the religion Plan-ke, who worship an entity known simply as Plank," Squashi explained.

King Johnny Plankstar walked up to them, staring concernedly at Ed. "Are you okay, Ed? I can't believe it; the Kankers have returned!"

"Uhhh," Ed said, not sure how to respond.

But King Johnny Plankstar did not appear to notice Ed's lack of response. "Come inside, come inside!"

Surrounded by Saraline, Skuashi and TargonTroi, Ed followed King Johnny Plankstar into the gigantic wooden palace. Surprisingly, it was even bigger inside then it appeared on the outside. The five walked through a wonderful hall with elegant oak floors, floating lamps and golden walls, and up a grand staircase into what looked like a wooden version of the meeting hall Ed had been in earlier. The five sat down, and King Johnny Plankstar started to ask, "How did y-"

"Wait a minute," Ed said as something logical hit his mind. "If the sun is so close to the planet, and this planet is made of wood, wouldn't there be a lot of fires?"

Saraline immediately started to explain, and King Johnny Plankstar looked on extremely confused. "This planet is surrounded by a heat-deflecting shield," she stated, "made by Space Rangers. Or, to be more specific, made by you."

"Oh," was Ed's simple response.

"Are you okay, Ed?" King Johnny Plankstar asked, looking very, very concerned. He was probably wondering how much that fall hurt Ed's head….

Saraline, Skuashi and TargonTroi sighed. Skuashi decided to be the one who explained everything. "This isn't Ed… at least, not from our universe. Apparently, a Fairixie teleported into his universe and placed him here. The Ed we know is in his universe somewhere…."

"Oh no," King Johnny Plankstar said quietly, but his voice sounded angry. "That's against the law! That Fairixie should not have even been in that universe! It breaks over twenty-three codes!"

"We know, we know," Saraline said, soothingly.

"And the timing… just before the Kankers come back," King Johnny Plankstar said with a sigh. Then he looked at Ed. "Ed, do you know how to use a Blaster?"

Ed shook his head. "What's a Blaster?"

Four sighs filled the room. "Well, I suppose we should teach Ed how to use weaponry before we do anything else," TargonTroi stated.

"Yes," King Johnny Plankstar said, "this way to the training simulation room."

The group exited the room and entered another room. Except for the oak door, there was no wood in this room; it was made completely of a white substance. Skuashi handed Ed the same white blasting device King Johnny Plankstar was holding. Then, the two left the room.

Suddenly, Ed was outside- face to face with an ugly creature that looked like a mix between a goblin and a spider… although that didn't describe the creature's wings. "Whoooaaa! A Spgobon, just like from the comics!"

The Spgobon screamed an ear-shattering scream, and Ed put his hand against his head. Suddenly, out of nowhere, he heard Saraline's voice. "Ed, this is a simulation. The Spgobon you are seeing is not real, but we want you to use the Blaster on him anyway."

Step by step, Saraline gave him instructions on how to use the Blaster. The Blaster was easy to use, lightweight, and seemed to have unlimited supplies of energy- this, Ed figured out when about twenty-nine more Spgobons appeared. After he destroyed the last Spgobon, his Blaster disappeared.

Instead, the Blaster was replaced with a heavier, gun-sized weapon. On the side was a dial that was pointing to number one. This weapon was a Stunner, and at level one, it would simply make a person stop for a minute, but at level ten, it could keep a person stunned for hours at a time. Thirty-five Spgobons appeared, and Ed stunned each one at level five, as instructed.

His weapons kept on replacing, and he heard TargonTroi and Skuashi comment on how good he was with the weapons. "Is this really Ed's first time with that weapon?"

"He must be a natural…."

Soon, Ed was done with the short-range and long-range weapons. "Now, we are going to practice magic," King Johnny Plankstar said.

Suddenly, King Johnny Plankstar appeared in the simulation, holding his long wooden scepter above his head. "I'm only going to teach you the basics," he explained, "because using magic takes up a lot of energy, and you never know when the Kankers will attack. First, you must summon your magical item."

"You mean the Ed-crystal?" Ed asked.

"No, that takes up way to much energy!" King Johnny Plankstar said. "You should only carry a magical weapon with a fraction of the power of the Ed-crysta-"

Suddenly, the simulation ended. Four or five guards burst into the room. "King Johnny Plankstar! Ed! The Kankers are here!"

A gigantic burst of fiery light appeared behind the guards and they suddenly disappeared. Ed looked, in horror, at the piles of ash located where they once stood.

BOOM! BOOM! CRASSHHH! Something huge ran into the wall, which started to fall. Ed held his head, screaming.

"Shield!"

Ed wasn't squashed, as he thought he would be. He looked up to see a leaf-green bubble surrounding King Johnny Plankstar and himself. King Johnny Plankstar, he realize, must have used the staff to put a magical shield around the two. Then he saw something terrible….

Standing where the wall once stood was a fire-breathing dragon with orange skin and yellow eyes. Sitting on top of him in all her "glorious" horror was Lee-der-dum. A smile crossed her lips (or at least something close to a smile, considering how Lee's shiny fangs stuck out).

"Well, lookie here… it seems Ed is still alive. But not for long! Inferno, attack!"

The dragon-Inferno- took a deep breath. Ed's eyes widened- dragons were much scarier in real life, especially when one was about to burn you to a crisp!


	14. Chapter 14: Eddy

**Disclaimer:** Ed, Edd N Eddy and all its characters are copyright AKA Cartoon. I am not using them for profit; I am simply using them to practice my own writing skills….

**Author: **Hi! I'm so sorry I haven't updated-

Eddy: HALF A YEAR!

ZodiacRain: Umm… what are you doing here, Eddy? This is the AUTHOR'S notes, my notes, not you-

Eddy: YOU'VE LEFT ME HANGING OFF A CLIFF FOR HALF A YEAR! SORRY?! SORRY?! I WANT OUT OF THIS UNIVERSE!

ZodiacRain: Okay, okay, let me write the story first-

Eddy: (grumble) I better not die…

Chapter Fourteen- And the Day Just Kept Getting Worse and Worse…

_"Sir Eddy Skipper McRich!" Eddy shuttered. Would this bad day ever end?_

_He turned around slowly to look at one of his assassinators… Lady Allith. "Eddy Skipper McRich, do you have any clue how much trouble you are in?"_

Eddy froze, staring at Lady Allith, who stared daggers back at him. Should he yell, right here, that Lady Allith was planning on killing him? He stared at Kevin and Lee. They might act like they like him, but how did he know they weren't in on the act? Sure, it said Lee would be shot, too, but…. Well, what about Kevin?

And then there was Irene and Ilene. Their dad was the one that was going to actually kill him. No, he decided, yelling Lady Allith's plans would be a terrible idea….

"Irene! Ilene!" Lady Allith yelled, her glare turning to the twins. They gulped. "Your limousine arrived almost twenty minutes ago. Your father is waiting for you."

She pointed down a long corridor. "The limousine is waiting in parking lot A; hurry, now, your father has a meeting in a couple of hours."

The twins looked reluctant to leave. They stared at Eddy, and then whispered to each other. Lady Allith gave them a chilling glance, which caused the two to start running down the hall. "Irene! Ilene! People of your social integrity do not run down corridors." The two stopped running, and walked properly, but quickly.

Lady Allith turned to Kevin and frowned. "Aren't you going to join them? After all, you do work for the Rosomons, correct?"

Kevin frowned and followed the twins, muttering under his breath.

Lady Allith turned back to Eddy. She put a sympathetic, pleading look on her face. "Sir Eddy, are you feeling unwell? First, you were late for lessons. Then, you walked to class and talked like a commoner! Sir Eddy, you yawned impolitely, and then _ran _out of the room! We had to chase you all over the mansion, sir!"

"Don't yell at me!" Eddy yelled, in his typical _I'm in trouble, how can I make it worse _way. "Who do you think you are?"

Lady Allith's sympathetic look faded away, replaced with a face almost as angry as Eddy. "SIR EDDY, what is wrong with you today? Don't yell at your elders! Follow me, young man-"

Eddy instantly started to refuse, but two extremely large guards came up and stood next to him. Knowing better then to run, he just grumbled as they walked through the confusing corridors. At one point, he thought he heard someone following them. He stopped and looked behind him, but no one was there.

"Keep going, sir," one of the guards said.

A scowl crossed his face, but he continued to walk. _Who does that Fay think she is, pulling something like this? How am I supposed to enjoy being rich if I'm DEAD? And why the heck does my "perfect" universe have Kevin at all?! FAY, GET ME OUT OF HERE!_

Nothing happened. Lady Allith suddenly stopped in front of a door. She pulled out a pair of keys and unlocked it; Eddy took a peak inside the room and saw what looked like another bedroom. There was a ridiculously large bed, a couple of chairs, a desk, and a large drawer. One of the chairs stood a good distance away from the desk; one was right next to it. Oddly enough, there were no chairs at the desk.

"Set down, Sir Eddy," Lady Allith said politely, indicating the chair farther from the desk. Eddy was reluctant; after a motionless second, Lady Allith indicated the chair again, a harsher look in her stern face, and Eddy slumped over to it. "Sir Eddy, do not slump while you walk!"

"Whatever."

The two guards came in and locked the door behind them. Eddy's anger suddenly dulled a little; it was replaced with the horrible sensation of fear. _Don't lock the door! Don't lock that door!_

"Eddy, why have you been so… disruptive today?" Lady Allith asked in a sickeningly sweet tone.

Eddy glared at her. "Unlock that door," he told one of the guards, in a commanding tone. They looked at each other and both shook their heads. "Unlock it right now!"

Lady Allith suddenly pulled out a remote control from the desks. She pressed one of the buttons before Eddy could react, and the next thing Eddy knew, two pairs of cuffs had emerged from the chair, and his arms and legs were unable to move. He instinctively started struggling, and Lady Allith, with an evil smile on her face, ambled over. "What do you know, Eddy? Tell me, you brat!"

A fuse broke in Eddy, and he yelled out the first words that came to his lips. The words just happened to be the worst words he could yell at the time: "_I know you're going to KILL me at that stupid parade!_"

A loud noise came from outside the door at that moment. The guards jumped; it sounded like someone had been listening in, and they had gasped in surprise. They opened the door and dragged in Kevin, who was trying unsuccessfully to punch them with his free hand.

"ALLITH, you're going to KILL Eddy?!" Kevin screamed. One of the guards threw him into the chair closer to the desk; Lady Allith pressed a button and, before Kevin could move, he was trapped, too.

"Yes, I am," Lady Allith smirked. "And I'm going to enjoy it, too! I guess I'll have to kill you, but it won't due to have a dead body on premise…. I guess we will have to wait until after the assassination!"

"_Do you think we'll keep quiet for four days?_" Eddy yelled at the top of his lungs. "_A __**LOYAL**__ GUARD WILL CERTAINLY HEAR US AND COME RUNNING!_"

"Good thing I always keep this on me, then," Lady Allith said, pulling out a syringe from a hidden pocket in her skirt. The syringe contained a peculiar blue substance that moved around sluggishly.

"What's going on?" Kevin asked, unable to see the syringe due to his disease.

Lady Allith calmly walked over to the boy and injected him with half of the substance. His head collided with the back of his chair, and he stopped struggling. Eddy was terrified- "You killed him!"

"Didn't I just say a dead body wouldn't do?" Lady Allith said, rolling her eyes. She casually strolled up to Eddy, who was trying with all his might to escape the stainless steel handcuffs "That useless servant is just sleeping, and he will be for the next couple of days. Good night, Eddy!"

Eddy started to turn his head towards her, but he was overwhelmed with a sudden tiredness. Then, all went black….


	15. Chapter 15: Eddy

**Disclaimer:** Ed, Edd N Eddy and all its characters are copyright AKA Cartoon. I am not using them for profit; I am simply using them to practice my own writing skills….

**Author: **Hi! I was originally going to save this chapter until later, but then I realized… by the time I'm finished with Double D's part, everybody will have forgotten the basic plot. So… I'm posting the_ last_ chapter featuring Eddy up right now. This chapter is extra long, so enjoy!

Chapter Fifteen- This Superb Procession

AKA: The McRich Parade is Here!

The rain was green. Eddy looked around him in surprise. Down, all the rain fell- but it wasn't rain at all- it was money!

"I'm RICH! I'm RICH!" Eddy jumped around in the growing pile of money. He grabbed a bill and watched in awe as it transformed into a jawbreaker right in front of his eyes. He instantly put it in his mouth, enjoying the taste… he jumped for joy as the other bills became jawbreakers, too. Yes!

"Eddy!"

Who dared to disturb Eddy? Eddy ignored the voice.

"EDDY!"

That annoying voice again! Who was it? Who the heck did that irritating voice belong too?

"WAKE UP, EDDY, WAKE UP! EDDY!"

The jawbreakers faded away. Eddy's eyes widened in horror as it all disappeared… He opened his eyes and looked around. He was starving, so hungry that he could eat twenty jawbreakers in one setting…

Suddenly, he remembered where he was. He sat up quickly. "Kevin, what day is it?"

"I don't know, but I thought I heard some people say today was the parade!"

Ah, yes, the McRich Homeless People Charity Parade. The parade Eddy was going to be assassinated at. Eddy almost started to panic, but then he saw something-

One of Kevin's arm cuffs was loose. "Kevin- your arm! You can escape!"

Kevin looked surprised, but then yanked his arm. It was free of the cuff; instantly, Kevin reached over to the desk. "Is the remote on the desk?"

"Yes!" Eddy said. "Just a little to the right- You've got it!"

Kevin pressed one of the buttons randomly, and was freed. He stood up and started pressing some other buttons, but none of them released Eddy. Suddenly, they heard Lady Allith's voice from the hallway. "Give me the serum," she said.

"Eddy- I can't get you out of here in time- Where's the window? I've got to get out of here, get help-"

His stomach was sinking. Eddy paused, than told him that the windows were right above his head. Kevin reached up, and luckily was able to push the window open. "Wait- we're on the first floor, right?" Eddy asked.

"Yes!" Kevin said as he slipped out the window. Eddy heard him running, but was looking at the door-

The door opened slowly, agonizingly slowly. Eddy pulled his arms and legs upward, but none of the cuffs were loose. Lady Allith entered the room, surrounded by two guards. "It's so upsetting you didn't get a chance to practice your lines for the parade recently, Eddy, but don't worry- I've got the script right here."

"What makes you think I'll read it?"

"This," Lady Allith responded, holding out a vial with a green liquid in it. "An invention created under your name, Eddy…. Quite a marvelous invention, in deed. Miraculous, even, some would say."

Eddy struggled to move his arm, but it was a useless attempt; the cuffs were far too strong and left little room for movement. Lady Allith injected the serum into his arm, but to Eddy's relief he did not fall asleep.

"Stop struggling," Lady Allith commanded.

To his horror, he stopped. _No!_ He told his arm to move, but it didn't budge. _NO way! _"What's going on?"

He looked up to see Lady Allith pressing a button on the remote. To his surprise, the cuffs holding him retreated. He instantly started running for the door-

"Stop running," Lady Allith yelled. He stopped, his feet frozen in place. Eddy was about to yell out, but then Allith said, "Be quiet."

No sound. Eddy could not scream or yell or even whisper. Whatever that stuff was, it was allowing Lady Allith to control him! He silently cursed every vile word he knew. _If I make it out of this… _he thought angrily.

"Smile!" A large grin formed upon Eddy's face at the command. "Put on this outfit. We will be waiting outside. Do not yell. Do not run away. Do not try to escape."

Lady Allith tossed him a ridiculous suit that had many rips and wholes in it, and then she and her guards left the room. The suit smelled badly, too- like it belonged to a hobo. Eddy reluctantly put on the outfit, still wearing that ridiculous grin. "I am finished, Lady Allith," he said politely and quietly.

"Good," Lady Allith said, coming back in. She handed him a script with words on it. "Practice this- it is your speech. Follow us as you practice."

Eddy started rehearsing the words out loud. It was quite obviously not written by Eddy; it sounded more like it was written by Double D, (although Double D did not exist in this universe), and Eddy had trouble pronouncing the words. Lady Allith angrily corrected him each time he messed up. Eddy would then correct himself with a polite nod. "Where were you when I taught you these words?" Lady Allith yelled when he messed up for the twentieth time.

Fortunately, Eddy was still able to control whether or not her could speak. He didn't have to respond to her, but only because Lady Allith hadn't told him to respond.

Lady Allith sighed and rolled her eyes. Then she made some sort of weird signal with her hands, as if though she were trying to fly. "Eddy, when you are on the float and I make that signal, you will toss out the bundles of cash to all the people that look homeless."

Eddy nodded. They entered what looked like a gigantic garage. In the middle of it stood a float, which looked like a gigantic twenty dollar bill. Well, it almost looked like a twenty dollar bill; in the center there was a small building, and on top of_ that_ was a sound system, including a microphone. At Allith's command, he stood on the float, and walked in front of the building. His cheeks hurt; he had been smiling for far too long.

The door to the garage opened, and the float floated outside, Eddy smiling atop it. Outside of the garage were many other floats, but none of them were moving. Some names were familiar to Eddy- popular stores and fast food chains- and some had his name on it. One particular float attracted his attention: The McRich Theme Park float, which had an actual roller coaster on it. Twenty kids were lined up, waiting to ride the roller coaster.

Suddenly, the float started moving toward the front of the parade. It stopped right in front of a float from the McRich Jawbreaker Factory. Eddy silently wished that he was in his own universe, scheming to get some quarters… maybe, for once, he'd be lucky and actually get a jawbreaker….

Lady Allith waved at him, smiling very politely, as she stepped aboard the float. She pulled a high-tech cell phone out of her pocket and dialed a number. "Lee, daughter, where are you? … Well, the parade is starting soon, please hurry!"

Allith closed the cell phone and turned to Eddy. "When this parade starts, you will enter this building. When I give the command, you will walk up the stairs to the top of the building. You will say this speech into the microphone, giving the proper facial expressions. You will not run away or cry for help."

Eddy nodded. Suddenly, a limousine pulled up next to the float, and Lee jumped out, dressed in a bunch of dirty robes similar to Eddy's. "Hey, Eddy!" she said happily, running up to the float.

"Lee, people of our status do not run," Allith said in a sickeningly sweet tone. Lee nodded, though she rolled her eyes. She stepped gracefully onto the float, bouncing up to Eddy.

With a jump, the float started moving. Allith rushed the two into the building, which was almost empty, except for a man who sat at a computer. Eddy assumed he was controlling the float's movements. Was he in on the plan? In the other corner of the room was a large screen showing the outside, and an elegant staircase upstairs. To the side stood a couple of large, stuffed sacks with giant $ signs on them.

Lee chatted eagerly with him, and Eddy continued to nod politely. "You're nervous, aren't you?" Lee asked, her voice showing concern.

Eddy smiled and nodded. _Nervous doesn't even describe it, Kanker. _

The parade had arrived in a city, where many eager citizens cried out at the sight of the float. Eddy spotted ten news vans and five news helicopters. Lady Allith suddenly called out, "It's time to start your speech!"

Lee grabbed one of the bags of cash, handing it to Eddy. Eddy held it and walked up the stairs, terrified. He stepped up to the microphone, lightly putting the bag on the floor. Lee followed quickly. Eddy looked to the bottom of the float and saw Allith staring expectantly at him. "Welcome," he cried enthusiastically into the microphone, "to the McRich Homeless People Charity Parade!"

Everyone cheered. Eddy noticed that most of the people were looking at the bag of cash next to his feet. Smiling grandly, but stumbling over the hard words, Eddy said, "As is tradition of this su-superb pr-procession, I will start this spec…spectacle by tossing these bags of current- er, currency into the audience, towards those that seem to lack a home. Everyone deserves a home!"

Another giant cheer filled the air. Eddy noticed that Allith was waving her hands, as if she was trying to fly. _It's the signal, _Eddy thought. Terror swept him; in about a half an hour, he'd be dead! _NO! _

He grabbed a sack of money, watching as Lee did the same. Enthusiastically, Lee threw a bundle of cash toward a particularly filthy man. Eddy grabbed a bundle of dollars….

His eyes looked at the dollar bills. The smell of money filled his nose; looking closer at the thick bundle, he saw that all of the bills were hundred dollar bills. He was probably holding a few thousand dollars in his hands! Oh, the jawbreakers he could buy with that!

Eddy watched, in terror, as his hand lifted it into the air, throwing it… throwing the cash… the _jawbreakers… _towards a random woman in the audience. The woman jumped up and down happily. _M… my money…. _Eddy thought, looking wide-eyed at the woman. His hand reached into the bag, throwing another couple thousand out in the audience. "No," he whispered.

Lee turned to him. "You said something?" she whispered.

Eddy looked at his hand, horror struck. "Lee, Allith…"

"What about her?" Lee asked, noticing the terror in his voice. "What's wrong, Eddy?"

"Allith is going to kill us," Eddy whispered. "It's part of some assassination plan."

"HEY!" some guy in the audience yelled. "WHY'D YOU STOP THROWING MONEY? MORE MONEY!"

Lee turned to Eddy. "I know, Kevin told me…. I knew Allith was going to use that vile on you, and I was waiting for it to wear off. The twins are here, and they know too."

"THROW MORE MONEY!" another man in the crowd howled.

"Where?" Eddy asked, too scared to yell at her for not trying to stop him earlier. Lee pointed to the side of the float, were Irene and Ilene stood. "Okay, what am I supposed to do?"

"MONEY! MONEY!" A large group of people were chanting.

"Jump," Lee explained.

Eddy turned around quickly, staring at Lee. "Are you crazy?"

"JUMP!" Lee screamed, pushing Eddy off the float.

The audience stopped chanting and started screaming. Eddy, too, started screaming, watching his life pass before his eyes:

His parents taking him home from the hospital, his older brother stealing his toys, his first scam (and the first time he was even beaten up by Kevin), meeting Ed, meeting Double D, meeting the Kanker sisters (oh, what an unpleasant memory), his brother leaving, starting junior high, meeting the Fairixie one boring summer day….

But, to his relief, instead of smashing his skull on the ground, he landed on the twins. "Irene! Ilene!" he cried, getting off of the two. "Thank you!" (Yes, he did say thank you.)

"You're heavy," one of the twins said. At the same time, the other said, "You're welcome."

"Where's Lee?" Eddy asked, looking around. He looked just in time to see Lee jump off the other side of the float and into Kevin's arms.

A large murmur was filling the audience. Some people were yelling out random questions. However, one voice cut through the audience: Lady Allith's. "GET THEM!"

"RUN!" Kevin yelled, and so the four did, running for their lives. They just managed to stay away from the Eddy McRich Assassination Plot members.

However, one member- an ugly old man that Eddy did not recognize- jumped in front of them, grabbing a hold of Lee's arm. "Over here, I've got the-"

The man never had a chance to finish his sentence. Lee, apparently, had some things in common with the Lee from Eddy's universe. She managed to practically knock them man out with one swift kick. The man dropped her and they started running even faster.

Eddy was running out of breath. He saw a closed store and ducked into the alleyway next to it. He was quickly followed by Lee, Ilene, Irene and Kevin. "Come on, let's hide in this store," Eddy said, indicating an employees-only door next to him.

"Is it locked?" Irene asked.

He rolled his eyes. "Who wouldn't lock their door-" Eddy was cut short, however, when he tried the handle and the door opened without a problem.

"Why would they lock the door?" Kevin asked as he entered the building, grabbing a hold of the wall to make sure he wouldn't trip. "The crime rate is only three percent."

"Oh," Eddy said, shocked.

"Didn't you know that?" Lee asked, her voice concerned but also suspicious.

After all five entered the closed store- which looked more like a restaurant now that they were inside- Ilene announced, "I'm going to call the police."

Ilene left the room in search of a phone. Irene, Kevin, Lee and Eddy sat at a table in the back, trying to avoid being seen by any EMAP members.

"How did you know about the assassination plan?" Irene asked suddenly, if just to break the silence.

"Yeah… how did you know?" Lee asked, her eyes narrowing.

Eddy sighed. He started to explain his story- minus the part, of course, about him being from another universe- finally getting to the part where he was in the basement. Ilene had rejoined them by then, saying that the police would arrive soon.

Kevin interrupted him. "So that was you in the basement!"

"Y-Yeah," Eddy said quietly.

"Why didn't you say something? I could have helped you get out of that building," Kevin cried.

Eddy quickly thought up an excuse. "Well, I'd just found out someone was going to assassinate me. When I heard someone coming down the stairs, Kevin, I was way too terrified to move-"

A blinding flash of white light filled the room.


	16. Chapter 16: Double D

**Disclaimer:** Ed, Edd N Eddy and all its characters are copyright AKA Cartoon. I am not using them for profit; I am simply using them to practice my own writing skills….

**Author: **It's late! Don't kill me! I've got a lot of work right now, but hopefully the next chapter will be up soon. Um, well, this chapter and the next one are both about Double D…. Oh, I hope you enjoy this chapter's title.

Chapter Sixteen- Forgetfulness, a.k.a. "Something important is going on but I can't quite remember it. Oh well, it's not like the world will end or anything."

Somehow, Nazz managed to convince Double D to head back to bed. "You've got a long day ahead of you tomorrow," Nazz said, wishing him a goodnight's sleep.

Nazz's wishes went to waste, though. Lying down in his dark room, he found himself unable to sleep. _I'd give anything to be home now. Perfect? What's perfect about this… this place… this version of me? I'm a soon-to-be mass murderer! This is bad! _

He sat up and paced around the room. "No," Double D furiously shook his head. "I can't allow this atrocious monstrosity to occur! I need to change this! It's my obligation to change this! My parallel is not in his right mind, I can't just let everyone in this dimension suffer for my parallel's mistakes."

Now that he had made the promise, Double D found that he wasn't as chatty as usual when he was nervous. Lying back down on his bed, he stared at the stark ceiling, random thoughts entering his mind. But his mind wasn't cooperating with him that night. He couldn't focus on the dreadfully important topic at hand. It was as if though the traumatizing information was being pushed out of his mind. Sometime in the wee hours of the morning, he fell deep asleep.

All too soon, a cheerful voice with a Japanese accent called out, "Rise and shine!" Sitting up in bed, Double D couldn't help but think he'd forgotten something extremely vital.

Looking up, Double D saw a vaguely familiar person standing at his door. "Doctor Mizuuki?" He was important, somehow, too. He just couldn't remember. _He seemed scared of me before. Maybe he's a morning person._

"Wow, Eddward Sir! I don't think I've ever seen you sleep in," Doctor Mizuuki exclaimed cheerfully. In a more serious tone, he said, "It's 7:50. You have to be in the Nuclear Bomb station in ten minutes."

"What? But I've never been late before!" Double D hopped out of bed. Doctor Mizuuki nodded in his direction before closing the door. In a speed that only a cartoon can manage, he freshened up. (Luckily, he found where his counterpart's spare lab coats were stored, and quickly changed into that, too.)

He almost started running down the dazzlingly bright halls, but stopped when he realized he had absolutely no clue where the Nuclear Bomb station was. He started walking in one direction, silently hoping he'd run into a map.

"Umm… Sir Eddward?" Doctor Mizuuki said cautiously. "You're going the wrong way…."

"Oh," Double D paused and turned around, nodding politely at the young man. "Um, thank you."

As he ran off in the opposite direction, Mizuuki sighed. "I hope he gets his memories back… this just makes things so much harder."

_8:00-8:30- Check out the Nuclear Bomb section, and see how close they are to being finished on the improved bomb; review blueprints with scientists_

Double D was kept busy throughout the first thirty minutes. His alternate self was extremely smart, and the complex blueprints showed it.

"Are you okay, Eddward Sir?" a man asked as Double D mispronounced one of the words for the twentieth time.

"I'm fine, thank you," Double D lied. The word didn't exist in his universe, and it wasn't exactly easy to figure out the pronunciation based on the spelling.

Despite keeping him busy, the thirty moments moved by dreadfully slowly. Double D wasn't sure he could keep up with the act. As he rushed off to the Anti-Warfare Sector (the intern they hired was very confused when he asked her where it was located), he couldn't help but feel like he was forgetting something. He wouldn't have been surprised if he was, though. For all he knew, that was a side effect of traveling to a parallel universe.

_8:30-9:00- Check out the Anti-Warfare Sector, and share with them blueprints and model of Nuclear Bomb Shield _

"Sir Eddward, I hate to be rude, but this is the worst presentation you've ever given us," a woman said after raising her hand. "Do you have a fever or something?"

"No," Double D mumbled, quickly changing the conversation. It was hard to focus when he was so hungry. He also knew he was forgetting something, and it was alarming him. _What am I forgetting?_

_9:00-9:10- Breakfast (Don't eat the toaster pastries- they are currently under an experiment- Nazz)_

Finally, breakfast time. Everyone watched in utter amazement as Double D managed to create, (politely) eat and clean up a fully balanced breakfast consisting of cereal, toast, an orange, a glass of apple juice and a side of bacon in ten minutes.

"Um, why are you eating so much?" a man asked. Double D recognized him as Jimmy, except much older.

Laughing lightly, he explained, "You need to eat a full-balanced breakfast." _Is Jimmy part of this thing I'm forgetting? Why can't I remember it?_

_9:15-10:00- Filing, signing documents, etc.; see Secretary Department for more information_

As Double D signed the papers and gave answers to the questions, he silently hoped he wasn't doing anything wrong. "I don't know what I'm doing. For all I know, I could be causing a lot of destruction," Double D thought aloud. Suddenly, he realized something. "Wait…. Destruction!"

He'd remembered something important, but to his dismay a secretary popped in. "Eddward Sir, you need too hurry over to the Biology Laboratory Sector M! Are you feeling okay?"

_Wait… What was I thinking about? Something about destruction…. _Double D thought frantically as he thanked the lady and asked her were the biology lab was.

From ten to ten thirty, Double D found himself researching utterly fascinating (and extremely confusing) information on sickle-celled anemia. Then he found himself rushing over to check on Stephanie at the school. The next five hours rushed by, and almost everyone asked if he was okay. The worst part was that he was so mentally stressed out he hadn't had a chance to think about that thing he was forgetting. He knew he should have remembered it. Maybe he was subconsciously forgetting it on purpose- and if that was true, it was that much more alarming. It would have to be bad for his subconscious to repress the memories.

Exhausted, he sat in a chair and looked at the next thing on his to-do list. To his horror, he realized he still had much to do.

"This is a perfect universe," Double D scoffed uncharacteristically as he stood up, "and Ed's comics are real and actually physically possible."

_3:00-3:30- BREAK (You'll need to pick up Stephanie from school and send her to the daycare now; sorry hun –Nazz)_

"Double D, do I have to go to the daycare center?" Stephanie pouted as they entered the semi-crowded main hall. She then saw her mother coming over, and quickly corrected herself. "I mean, Sir Eddward, do I have to go to the daycare center? It is worse than the nursery!"

_They have a separate nursery and daycare center? _Double D wondered exhaustedly, smiling lightly as Nazz came up to them.

He couldn't quite help thinking Nazz might have something to do with what he forgot. _I need to remember that soon. I'm pretty sure it's important._

"Stephanie, honey, I'm sorry," Nazz said almost kindly, looking the girl in the eye. "I know the daycare center's no fun, but Eddward has a lot of very important work to do."

The little girl pouted, but nodded obediently before running away.

Double D looked down at his watch. "Oh no! It's 3:30! I have to go help those trainees…"

"Don't worry about that, Double D," Nazz said softly. "All that will be taken care of. We need to head to the meeting."

"What meeting?" Double D asked. Out of the blue, he thought: _Am I going to get an answer to that question that's been bugging me all day?_

"We've had a change of plans," Nazz mumbled quietly so there was no chance of anyone but Double D hearing her. "We're holding the meeting in about five minutes."

He was still puzzled. "What me-"

Then it came back to him. The memories of the night before hit him like a ton of bricks (pardon the cliché)… or, rather, like a ton of Toxin D.

"I can't believe I blocked _this_ out of my memory!" Double D cried loudly. "We have to stop this, Nazz. How can you do this? And why is the meeting being held early?"

Nazz's smile almost seemed regretful. _Maybe I can change her mind, _Double D thought silently. Silently gesturing for Double D to speak quieter, she whispered, "As I said, Eddward, we had a change in plans. It's very important you come to this meeting."

"I don't want any part in this!" he whispered. "How could you allow me to kill all these innocent people? Nazz, what about the rights of humanity? What about… Stephanie?"

Nazz paused, looking shocked. "How could you suggest we'd leave her behind? She's coming with us, Double D. And you're coming with me!"

Before Double D could protest, Nazz dragged him down the hall. He started to pull away, but realized that people were staring at them. _I can't let them know about this, _he thought. He stopped struggling and walked down the annoyingly bright halls, not knowing what to expect.


	17. Chapter 17: Double D

**Disclaimer:** Ed, Edd N Eddy and all its characters are copyright AKA Cartoon. I am not using them for profit; I am simply using them to practice my own writing skills….

**Author: Merry Christmas, everyone! **Sorry I haven't updated in so long…. But, finally, my break has come and I can upload these chapters!

This chapter also features Double D too. What's going to happen at this meeting? I could tell you but then you wouldn't read the fanfic, silly. On a side note, I hope my description of the secret layer is okay… (I'm bad at describing buildings…) Another note: I don't think energy radars have been invented…. Have they?

Oh, as a third **note**- when Nazz was speaking to Number 22 and Kevin on the walky-talky, they weren't speaking English. Wouldn't want someone to overhear them, would they?

Chapter Seventeen- "We've Rescheduled the World's Destruction"

Nazz and Double D walked down the halls. Double D noticed that, with each turn, the halls became emptier and darker. Eventually, they reached an abandoned hall that was completely dark except for a single flickering light dangling from the ceiling. There were no doors or windows and, for some reason, Double D had a feeling they were below ground level.

"You've dragged me to a dead end," Double D said, giving Nazz an odd look.

Nazz smiled and grabbed the walky-talky from her pocket. She started speaking in an odd code which Double D didn't recognize (though he was sure he'd heard some Greek and Spanish thrown into it). When Nazz finished speaking, Mizuuki's voice responded from the walky-talky in the odd same code.

"Agh, Number 22!" Nazz suddenly yelled in regular English. "Didn't I say you don't need to announce when you're signing off?"

"Sorry, it's a force of habit," Mizuuki's voice responded. Double D simply blinked as Nazz sighed and put the walky-talky away.

Nazz took a couple of steps away from the right wall, nodding at Double D. "You might want to stand back," she said. Startled, Double D jumped back and nearly tripped.

The walls in front of them suddenly started rumbling. Double D yelped and Nazz yawned a little. "This takes too long," she commented casually, "but we had to use outdated technology or risk being discovered. The walls contain an alloy which hides most of the energy in here from being seen on energy-radars, but we can't be too careful."

"En..energy-radars?" Double D stuttered as the wall _slowly_ opened before them.

"You created it," Nazz explained. "It, as you could guess, measures energy rates. Nothing special, really, you made it in two days. However, as I was saying, this alloy blocks the energy-radar. That's how we have avoided being discovered for so long. But the secret passageway opens and closes so slowly, it'd be far too easy for someone to sneak in or out."

"Do you think someone has?" Double D asked hopefully. Maybe Mission Destruction could be stopped after all. If someone on the outside knew about it…

Nazz laughed. "Not likely. Besides, we won't have to fret about this inconvenience much longer."

_That's worrisome, _Double D thought. "Please tell me you're getting a secret passage that opens and closes quicker."

Nazz grinned mysteriously. The floors around them stopped rumbling. "Finally, it's open."

The wall opened up into a large, dark staircase. Double D couldn't see far into the secret passageway, but he had a feeling it was _very _deep underground. Nazz grabbed a small flashlight from her pocket. "Follow me," she said solemnly. Double D nodded and the two walked down the metal staircase, their footsteps echoing behind them.

As the secret passageway slowly closed, Double D thought for a split second he heard a third pair of footsteps. "Did you hear that?" he asked Nazz.

"Hear what?" was her response.

Both stopped walking for a second. They _were_ deep underground. Double D could tell because the sound of the passageway entrance closing had grown very quiet, despite the fact that it was very consistently loud as it had opened. He could hardly hear it at all… and he couldn't hear a third set of footprints. Nevertheless, he told Nazz to direct the flashlight behind them. They saw nothing. "It must have been my imagination," Double D laughed.

"Whatever you say," Nazz said with a sigh. "Hurry up, we're already late."

The two started walking quicker. Twice, Double D thought he heard something else, but decided not to mention it to Nazz. For five long, silent moments, the duet walked silently. Both were left to their thoughts, and with every passing second, Double D's fear increased.

He was almost relieved when he saw the end of the staircase. However, as he took a closer look, his heart froze in fear.

The end of the staircase opened up into a small room. Above them, a light bulb cast off a blue light that made Nazz's blonde hair seem almost purple in color. A semi-transparent wall with a metallic door blocked them from going anywhere. The door was featureless except for a handle and a complicated device that looked like a scanner.

It wasn't the tiny room that frightened him, however. It was what he could see through the semi-transparent wall. The wall showed a giant, circular room. The sides were made of rocks which glowed blue due to the odd lighting. The ceiling was similar to an observatory's; it looked as if it could open at the press of a button.

Along the sides, he saw a narrow pathway, leading to a large landing. Throughout the narrow pathway, many people sat on chairs, holding papers and apparently discussing plans. The center was a large, empty pit. Double D thought he saw something near the bottom of the pit, but it was too dark to tell what it was.

But even that didn't completely scare him. It was the large, empty throne in the middle of the landing. It was _his _throne. He could tell.

Nazz walked up to the door with a slight smile on her face. She put her finger against the scanner, which glowed bright yellow. Then the yellow light moved away from her thumb and towards her eyes.

"Welcome, Second in Command," an electronic voice stated, coming from nowhere.

The door opened, and Nazz merrily stepped inside. As it slung shut behind her, she indicated the scanner.

Reluctantly, Double D stepped up to the scanner. His breath seemed to echo throughout the room. He noticed that he was shivering as he put his thumb against the scanner; it was cold, too. Only a stereotypical villain from a cartoon could appreciate a layer like this.

The light scanned his thumb, and suddenly moved towards his eyes. He almost blinked, but prevented himself from doing so; the last thing he wanted was for this door to glitch on him. Who knew what kind of safety previsions his parallel had put on the door against intruders?

_Though maybe he wasn't too concerned about keeping the mission a secret. Why would he make this wall transparent?_

"Welcome, First in Command, our great leader," the electronic voice cheered robotically. The door swung open and Double D stepped in. He noticed that the wall was transparent one way, but not both ways; he couldn't see back into the tiny room. _This is beyond poor design… It's like he wanted someone to spy on them…._

He almost gasped. It was obvious! His parallel, in a moment of weakness, had gotten everyone together to start this crazy mission. Then Parallel Eddward realized he was wrong, but wasn't able to stop the mission directly. Maybe someone was spying on them right now! That would explain the extra footsteps he heard!

Nazz grabbed his hand, and everyone watched as a small pathway formed in the middle of the cavity, connecting the area in front of the wall to the large landing. As the two waked over it, Double D almost felt a small amount of joy. Someone was going to prevent the end of the world, he was sure of it!

Then he looked down.

The ditch was lit, but one couldn't tell from looking through that transparent wall. Nor could one could see part of the _space shuttle _that occupied the void, though it was clear as day from where he stood.

_They've gotten this far… _Double D thought with a gulp. The silent moment of joy he felt faded.

Nazz indicated for Double D to sit in the throne. As he did, the pathway that connected the door to the landing disappeared. Someone handed Nazz a chair, and she sat down next to him. Everyone stared expectantly at Double D. Nazz gasped slightly, and said, "Since Sir Eddward is unaware of his job, I shall fill in for him. What has this emergency meeting been called for?"

A lone man on the left side of the chasm stood up. He was a dorky looking man with cruel eyes and an official outfit labeled _NASA. _"Number Four speaking. Well, technically, Second in Command, the meeting was rescheduled."

An annoyed sigh escaped Nazz's lips. Double D gulped slightly.

"Anyway," Number Four continued, "We have rescheduled the meeting because tonight in the best time to start."

"To start what?" Double D cried.

Silently, everyone's attention turned from Number Four to their leader. Double D laughed self-consciously. "The final phase of Mission Destruction," Nazz explained almost nonchalantly. However, the nonchalant tone was quickly replaced with a worried one: "Why are we leaving tonight? I thought we were heading off next week."

Number Four sat down, and another man stood up. Double D gasped; it was the Vice President! He seemed like such a nice, warm person. In fact, he was the last person Double D expected to see in this room. He'd be less surprised if Santa Clause was sitting there! "Number Three speaking. The president has rescheduled the night we will analyze the skies to make sure pollution levels are low. He has changed it to the night of the launch, and our launch would certainly cause a disturbance in the atmospheric pollution levels."

Double D listened to this worriedly as he looked around the room. He spotted Jimmy, Johnny and Rolf. They didn't look that different, although they all looked older, and were (obviously) dressed in work clothing. However, he couldn't find Kevin anywhere. _Is Kevin the spy?_

"Number Four speaking," Number Four almost squawked as he stood up. "The NASA satellites have, for some reason we cannot figure out, been moving at a slower speed then normal. Tonight is the only night they won't be facing out path."

Nazz listened and nodded as Double D saw more famous faces. He recognized actors (who were older in this universe, but still familiar), a few political figures, and many scientists that he once loved. _How…? Why?_

"I understand this," Nazz said officially. "As Second in Command, I declare that we will leave tonight, at twelve midnight."

Double D froze. He wasn't the slowest person, but it took him a moment to realize what Nazz and the destroyers were talking about. "WHAT?!" he panicked. "TONIGHT?!"

Everyone turned to stare at him for the third time. He realized that this was his chance to stop Mission Destruction once and for all.

He stepped up and away from his throne. "People! How can we do this?" Double D cried, heartfelt. "Certainly, we've been forced through some hard times by the government! But this isn't the answer! Murder isn't the answer! We need to take non-violent means!"

A murmur crossed the crowd. _It's working! _Double D thought excitedly. He continued on with his speech: "What if it was you? What if you were one of the uniformed citizens, forced to die simply because the government was demanding? Please, listen! If we want change, we should go up to the President and _demand _it!"

Two rather large men holding some rather dangerous looking devices stood up and started marching rather quickly towards him. "Toxin D is evil," Double D continued yelling as the two guards grabbed him. A door he hadn't even noticed opened up behind him, and they threw him inside before slamming the door shut.

"Impossible," Double D thought aloud, staring dazedly as the door in front of him changed colors and melted into the rock. "They didn't listen to me at all… and I'm their leader. So many people are going to die…"

Tears filled his eyes. _No, I can't cry. _He stood up and paced around the room. _I'll have to sabotage this mission. But how?_


	18. Chapter 18: Double D

Disclaimer: Ed, Edd N Eddy and all its characters are copyright AKA Cartoon

**Disclaimer:** Ed, Edd N Eddy and all its characters are copyright AKA Cartoon. I am not using them for profit; I am simply using them to practice my own writing skills….

**Author: **This is the second-to-last chapter featuring Double D! Actually, this chapter focuses more on Nazz then Double D, but details, details… Let's find out what Nazz has to say. Oh, by the way, Happy (Very Very Late) New Year! Wow, it's actually April Fools Day now... Hm, this story is 3 years old! (No joking) Wow…. From now on, I'm officially a 'sporadic updater'.

Oh, by the way… transitions are marked with "…".

Chapter Eighteen- Toxin D

"Oh! You're here early ma'am," the head of the daycare center said brightly. "I thought you were coming at 7:45. It's only six!"

Nazz gave a forced, airy smile. "Oh, something was rescheduled," she said. "Stephanie!"

"I have to warn you, Nazz, ma'am," the head of the daycare whispered, "Stephanie snuck out again. She was gone for awhile this time…"

"Not again," Nazz sighed.

Stephanie slowly walked up to her mom. "Hi, mommy… I'm tired," she said with a yawn. She reached out and held her mother's hand.

The two silently walked out of the daycare center. "Have you been sneaking out again, young lady?" Nazz said with playful scorn.

The child looked around nervously. Apparently, all the scientists were working on some sort of project, for the hall was abandoned. She dropped the tired child act and pulled her hand away from Nazz's. "Has daddy been planning on destroying the world again?!"

"What?" Nazz froze. Had she heard her right?

Tears filled Stephanie's eyes. "You and daddy always go into that secret passageway and plot bad things! I heard that you guys were going to destroy the world! Why, mommy, why?"

"Wait!" Nazz sunk down to one knee, looking her daughter in the eye. "Have you been following us? How…"

"I didn't want to go to the nursery last week," Stephanie sobbed over her tears. "So I followed you guys and saw the passageway and snuck down behind you…"

_Double D was right. Someone was following us. _Nazz stared into space, her eyes glazed over. This wasn't how she planned on telling Stephanie about the mission. She was hoping that they'd get onto the rocket ship, and then Stephanie would start asking questions. Then she'd explain carefully that they were going on a trip….

"Why, mommy?"

A man strolled into the hall. Nazz leapt up and grabbed Stephanie's hand. She practically dragged the sobbing child into the secret passageway.

As they entered the secret meeting room, Nazz saw that Eddward was walking about, talking casually with some of the security guards. She stopped the next person who happened to walk in her direction. This person was Doctor Mizuuki.

"What's wrong, Second-in-Command?" Mizuuki asked. He smiled when he saw Stephanie, but Stephanie pouted and looked away. "Is Stephanie okay?"

Nazz ignored him. "Why was Double D- I mean, Sir Eddward released?"

"Double D?" Mizuuki frowned. He'd never heard anyone call Eddward that before. "Why would you call him Doub-"

"That's NOT important," Nazz said sharply. "Eddward is an endangerment to the mission right now. He is suffering amnesia, remember? He wants to save these foolish people!"

Stephanie gasped. Mizuuki smiled nonchalantly and said, "Oh, he's changed."

"What?" Stephanie and Nazz asked simultaneously, though their tones of voice were completely opposite of each other.

"Is daddy good or bad now?" Stephanie asked. Nazz instinctively corrected her; "Sir Eddward." She was ignored.

"I know it sounds a bit odd, but he's reformed," Mizuuki smiled cheerfully. "He thought about it and decided that the mission was valid. You should have heard the rant he gave; I honestly thought he was going to go out and kill everybody right now. He doesn't remember his past, but he's discovered enough to hate humanity."

Nazz's eyes narrowed. It didn't add up… it was doubtful that Eddward's childhood self would agree with the mission, and because of the amnesia, he _was_ his childhood self. Also, this change was way too quick. Mission Destruction wasn't decided overnight; it was decided after many months of planning… many tiring months of dealing with the world's cruelty… and many gruesome months looking for any alternative. It took Eddward years to agree to Mission Destruction. In fact, just two years previously he would have found the idea nuts.

And now he was claiming he had changed his morals in fifteen minutes.

Stephanie, however, believed every word. "NO!"

At the sound of the cry, Double D turned around, dismissing some subordinates with a wave of his hand. He marched to the trio. "Stephanie, what's wrong?"

"I thought you'd changed," Stephanie cried, "at the meeting today. I saw you yelling and they took you away! Then he said you were good but you became bad again!"

"Wait, you were the one that was following us?" Double D frowned.

Stephanie nodded, but didn't look at him. Nazz held the girl, and whispered to Double D, "She's known for the last week. She's been to all of the recent meetings…."

_Almost sadness. _Double D could almost hear sadness in Nazz's voice. However, his own mind was filled with so much despair that he could have been imagining it. It seemed so long ago that Fay had offered Eddy a chance to become a billionaire… a distant dream. It felt like he'd been waiting for _years_, ever since he walked into this room, for the person that was following them in the hallway to come stop the crazy mission.

He was so sure when he'd heard those footsteps that someone was spying on them. The government, perhaps, or a group of sane scientists… at the very least, a member of the group, such as Kevin. (Who, come to think of it, he still hadn't seen.) Well, someone _had _been spying on them. A little girl… a little girl who couldn't stop them at all.

_I can't let this stop me. I've got to keep up this act…. _It surprised him, actually, how good he was at the evil-scientist-eager-to-destroy-the-earth bit. _I've got to follow the plan._

The next hours went by in a flash. Double D gave instructions, directed others, and watched with wide-eyed interest as the rocket ship emerged from the pit. He directed others into the rocket, watching as Rolf, Johnny and Jimmy entered the ship. Then the Vice President. Then Nazz, who was holding a half-asleep Stephanie on her shoulders.

Finally, the NASA member- "Number Four"- told him he should enter the ship, too. Double D nodded. He took a seat next to Nazz, who glared at him suspiciously. "What are you planning, Double D?"

Stephanie had fallen asleep, Double D noticed, though she seemed to be having strong nightmares. "Mission Destruction," Double D said, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. "It's great that we've come this far. From this point on, it's smooth sailing. We'll wait for three days before we administer the Toxin."

"What if the people of the Earth have changed? What if they're doing fine without us?" Nazz said, glaring suspiciously at Eddward.

Eddward shrugged. He seemed at completely at ease…. _Is he acting… or what? _"Doing fine without us? Hm, I suppose we should define 'fine'. Not starting World War 3, perhaps?"

A voice suddenly emerged over the intercom system. _"Everyone, we've made it this far! Nothing will stop us know!" _

"Number 22… _Mizuuki…_ is the pilot?" Eddward asked cynically.

He was very good at acting. It bugged Nazz…. She stared at him, as if though it would make him reveal he was lying…. However, she was snapped out of her trance at the countdown.

"_5…4…3…2…. __**1**__!!"_

…

The days on the space shuttle passed by quickly. Eddward convinced everyone (except for Nazz) that he agreed with Mission Destruction. They even allowed him to act as commander. When Nazz questioned this, one of the many he had tricked- Jimmy- replied, "Well, he WAS the commander before the got amnesia. Now he's on our side. Even though he can't remember all, it is his RIGHT to be commander."

His act was convincing. A couple of times, Nazz fell for it herself. However, that mindset never lasted for long. It seemed every time she walked down a hall- abandoned, usually, because others were at a meeting, or were sleeping- she'd see Eddward and Stephanie whispering conspiringly.

"What are you two PLANNING?" Nazz yelled on the third day, about the fiftieth time she saw this.

Stephanie and Eddward jumped. _If Double D were back to normal, nothing would surprise him. He wouldn't jump out of shock. _

Eddward started to give his usual explanation- some junk on helping Stephanie mentally, keeping her spirits up, blahblahblah- but Nazz simply glared at him.

"You're lying. I can tell, Eddward. And I will prove it to everyone else. You haven't changed. You're not on the side of the Mission."

Her threatening tone was ignored; Eddward simply looked at his watch. "Oh! It's time for me to start preparing for our next meeting. Nazz, the meeting is in an hour."

"It is?" Nazz scoffed. "I don't remember a meeting. What is this so-called meeting's topic?"

Eddward looked at her as if though she had grown a beard. "Er… Nazz, it's the meeting where we check up on the Earth. You know. The meeting everyone has been waiting for these last three days?"

She stared blankly at him. _Sarcasm? If he were back to normal he wouldn't use sarcasm so blatantly. _But he was right. In her paranoia, she had forgotten about the important meeting. "Right. I'll get ready, sir."

And with that awkward, formal farewell, she turned around and walked away. With each step, she walked faster until she was running, running, running… Although she was far away from Eddward and Stephanie, she kept running, for she knew they were following her.

She only stopped when _that _voice filled the air.

"What are you doing here?"

That voice. It was cold, inhuman… and she knew who it belonged to. How had she gotten to this part of the ship? It was off limits, only where _he _and (the few that _dared_ to look at him) roamed.

Slowly, she turned around. "Hello… Kevin."

The creature stared at her. "You do know the meeting is in ten minutes, right?"

"Oh." Had she been running that long? "I suppose I'd better go to the meeting… then." She started to turn around.

"Why are you here?"

Again, she froze. "Because I know that Eddward would not follow me here. I don't think he's on our side. I think he's going to betray us." _Wait… was that really why I came here? Hadn't it been an accident that I ended up in this place?_

It was impossible to read Kevin's emotions, though that was mostly because…

Nazz shuddered.

"The meeting is in five minutes," he said.

So she turned around and ran as fast as she could. It was rude, but she couldn't stand to be there any longer. She'd rather be with her traitorous husband.

….

_Everyone's here. Except for Kevin, thank goodness_, Nazz thought. Her husband sat next to her, coldly observing the room. His cool demeanor might have tricked most people, but most people didn't know him as well as she did. He was acting, and she could tell.

_Maybe I'm paranoid. _

The thought disturbed her, and she quickly rebutted it: _I'm not. I know the truth. Double D is against us!_

_I sound paranoid._

She didn't have a chance to finish her internal argument; Number Four- the NASA scientist- stood up and began his presentation. He began with a boring introduction- _yeah Mission Destruction, we've got satellites all around the world, NASA hasn't found them yet, blah blah blah_- it lasted about ten minutes.

Then he got to the interesting part of the speech.

"So," he squawked, "has humanity redeemed itself? Has it gone on well without us? The short answer… No."

A television screen pulled down. "Perhaps the media can explain it more… eloquently… then I can."

A series of television newscasts (some with translations appearing at the bottom) from around the world popped up successively:

"_Over forty famous scientists- and the vice president- have disappeared! Is China to blame? That's what the government says!" _a woman with a Californian accent cried.

In a Chinese report, _"Forty-eight famous citizens of the world have been kidnapped by Europe!"_

"_Where have the scientists gone? A new governmental investigation suggests terrorists have taken them to the Middle East," _said a European report.

"Wow," someone commented. "All these countries were allies before."

Nazz turned to look at Eddward. His face was pallidly. She knew it! He wasn't part of the mission after all!

The next reports apparently came from the next day.

"_Doctors and scientists are going on strike, worldwide," _came a Japanese report. _"They claim that unless the forty-eight return, they cannot do their work properly. They demand that whoever took them return them. Only ten percent of the world's scientist and doctors are still working."_

"_The world's becoming more chaotic by the day, Sam!" _one American reporter yelled to another. _"The murder rates have risen another twenty-five percent- now it's up by 40 percent!"_

"It was less then 2 percent, world wide, before," someone observed. "I can't believe we've had such an impact. Humanity is so stupid."

Eddward was trembling. Nazz scowled as the next reports- the ones from yesterday- popped up.

"_Is World War 3 coming?"_

"_California, Oregon, Washington and Nevada are breaking off from the United States and declaring war!"_

"_World War 3 seems to be approaching." _

"_Any signs of peace today? No, actually, it seems that World War 3 is upon us! Every country has declared that if the scientists aren't returned, they will declare war."_

"_De ja vu! For the first time in ten years, religious groups are fighting against each other! With guns, I mean, GUNS! And bombs! This hasn't been seen since Sir Eddward confirmed-"_

"_Is World War 3 about to start?"_

"_World War 3-"_

"_- World War 3!"_

In every language, in every country, the news reporters predicted a next world war. Number Four turned the video off. "All these countries have nuclear technology. Given the situation, they probably will use it; this will make the planet uninhabitable."

Nazz stared in Eddward's direction again. He had stopped trembling, and his face had returned to its normal color. His expression was one of subtle distaste; when he stood, Nazz wondered, for a split second, if she had imagined the doubt and the weakness. _Of course I didn't imagine it._

"So, shall we vote?" Eddward said in a icy tone that made Nazz shiver. "All in favor of applying Toxin D, raise your hand."

Everyone, including Nazz, raised their hands. Eddward nodded. "Then it has been decided. Meeting adjourned."

As was policy, Eddward walked out the door first. Everyone lined up to follow him, but Nazz yelled out, "Stop!"

Eddward had already left the room, and didn't hear her. Everyone else did, however. "I'm calling an emergency meeting."

There was a mumble of shock. "Should I get First-in-Command?" the vice president asked.

Nazz shook her head. "No. Keep this a secret from him. Please sit down."

Everyone stopped mumbling, and sat down, though they still looked confused.

And Nazz began the most important meeting of them all…


	19. Chapter 19: Double D

Disclaimer: Ed, Edd N Eddy and all its characters are copyright AKA Cartoon

**Disclaimer:** Ed, Edd N Eddy and all its characters are copyright AKA Cartoon. I am not using them for profit; I am simply using them to practice my own writing skills….

**Author: **Finally, the conclusion to Double D's story. Can Double D prevent Mission Destruction from reaching its final stage… the end of all humanity? Or is Double D too late? Just as a warning, this chapter is more graphically violent then others.

Chapter Nineteen- The World's Problem

"I can't believe," Double D whispered to no one in particular, "that the world is in such a mess."

He did believe it though; in fact, he knew how the world had come to its current state. One of its pillars had left it. Now that astray pillar was attempting to betray it… and Double D knew that it was time to knock that pillar down.

He'd gained the trust of most of the scientists on the ship. In fact, one of them showed him exactly where they were storing the Toxin D and the cure. Another told him how to contact the governments of the Earth. And a third showed him where the escape pods were. He was surprised at how easy it was to trick the world's most brilliant (and deranged) scientists.

Double D trotted down the hallway casually. He was still acting, at least on the outside; if anyone were to ask him a question, he would not have been able to keep up his guise. In fact, he would probably instinctively attack the person. _Don't those creatures see that collapsing under the pressure is the worst thing to do?_

He stopped in front of a doorway and unceremoniously punched in an axis code. Rolf had given it to him eagerly when he explained that he had forgotten the combination due to his amnesia. _Seriously, if the pressure was too much, they should have hired more scientists! Or created a device that made people smarter. Ah, there it is-_

The liquid in the vial was pink and golden in color. The vial itself was clearly labeled; a thin needle was attached at the end. It was surrounded by a clear glass container. Double D punched in the numbers in a nearby access box; upon opening, he carefully snatched the vial, staring at it with a mixture of boredom and psychotic-scientist-happiness for good measure. _I mean, my parallel self made a device that transformed the world's atmosphere. He decreased violence in the world… _

He walked over to the next case. It, too, contained a vial; but the liquid inside the vial was deep green. In fact, it was almost black. He punched the access code in the access box. It opened with a dramatic _swoosh_; cautiously, he pulled the vial out with his gloved hand. _Okay, I've got the Cure and the Toxin. Now to alert the others… But honestly, if he could decrease the world's murder rate, then couldn't he alter people's thoughts? He was certainly immoral enough. _

He left the room and walked into another room. This one had a very comfortable chair, a movie-theater-sized television, and a very complex panel with many buttons and dials. (The panel was located in front of the chair, ala Star Trek.) Normally, Double D would not have been able to figure out what each of the unlabeled buttons did; however, the day previously Jimmy revealed to him the function of each and every dial on the panel. _But even if he could not alter people's minds… my parallel self could have handled his stress by getting therapy. I'm sure the government would understand if he needed to take time off to deal with the stress. _

_And even if they wouldn't... _Double D sat down on the seat. As he pressed a button that was, essentially, the record button of a microscopic camera, Double D's cool demeanor faded. The panic slowly spread across his face… _Mission Destruction is… is… UNACCEPTABLE._

"Governments of the Earth," he started. "I am Sir Eddward, the scientist, and I have not been kidnapped by anyone. The forty-eight of us have taken part in a plot to destroy the Earth."

He took a deep shaky breath and continued to explain his story. He explained the plans of Mission Destruction, the effects of Toxin D, his sorrow in joining such a dastardly plot, and his plans to prevent the mission from proceeding any farther. Double D also explained that he was sending one person back; one person- a child- who had _not _taken a part in the plot, and was innocent of any crimes. He ended with a very formal "Thank you" and pressed a button that sent the video to all the governments of the world.

Afterwards, he sat staring into space, reviewing the next part of the plan in his mind over and over again. "I ought to leave," he muttered after an infinite time.

Carefully shifting the vial with the Toxin in it to his left hand (where the Cure was), he got up and walked to Stephanie's room. He knocked a secret knock that the two had planned together; Stephanie slowly opened the door, looking up to make sure it was her father. When she saw it was, indeed, Eddward, she grabbed her bag and eagerly ran up to him, grabbing the hand free of the vials.

"Daddy, I'm so glad you're stopping the evil bad guys," she said loudly.

Double D winced. "Shhh!"

The girl smiled sheepishly. "Sorry," she whispered. "Anyway, I packed all my clothing like you asked me too. Actually, I only had a chance to unpack some of my stuff. I don't know why mommy picked the clothes that were in the bag, they're all really icky and scratchy…"

He nodded, listening inactively as his daughter blabbed on. Johnny had shown him the way to the emergency escape pods; however, he had refused to go past this point, for some odd reason. So he was on his own now, left following the man's odd directions ("Then go a freckle past a hair…")

Finally, they came to it… the emergency escape pods. Swiftly, Double D punched in a code (eagerly provided by Rolf) that would prevent any alarms from going off. He then pushed a button that opened the door, and granted him access to one of the pods.

Stephanie stopped talking. Eddward grabbed Stephanie's bag, and place it in the second seat. The pods, he noted, only had two seats, just as he had expected. Silently, he programmed the pod to head straight to Earth. "Sit here," he explained.

The little girl nodded reluctantly. "Daddy," she asked mournfully as she approached the pod, "can't you come with me? And can't you bring mommy?"

"No," Double D said sympathetically. Tears filled the little girl's eyes. "I've got work to do here."

"You _always _have work to do," Stephanie whispered. "When will you be back?"

Double D sighed. If he was lucky, Fay would appear and send him back to his dimension. That would mean that he'd never see the girl again, and she'd be stuck with Parallel Eddward. "I'm not sure, Stephanie. But promise me you will be safe on Earth, okay? The pod is programmed to land right in front of the White House. There will be people there to help you."

_I hope. _

Double D closed the pod door. Instantly, the girl burst into tears, but she couldn't be heard through the escape pod's thick walls. The walls in front of the escape pod opened, and the miniature ship flew away with Stephanie in it. The boy waved silently as the door closed; Stephanie looked back and waved, too.

"What…"

At the sound of the voice, Double D jumped. _No, no, this cannot be. Only Rolf and I know the code that keeps the alarm from going off. She can't be in here, I'd have heard! _Reluctantly, he turned around. He saw, too his horror, that he had left the emergency-escape-pod-room's door open.

However, Nazz's face was much scarier. Her face was bright red. "What have you done, Double D?!"

_I miss the Nazz from my universe. Her voice was never so rough. _Double D simply blinked in response.

The woman stepped forward, her boots banging loud against the floor. "You've KILLED her, Eddward! You're a psychopath! You killed her! Why?!"

"N-no, Nazz," Double D stumbled. "I'm saving her."

"SAVING HER?!" Nazz marched forward. "You sent her to a planet that's about to be destroyed! You sent her to a war zone and you're telling me you're SAVING her?"

"The Earth will n-not be destroyed," he responded. It sounded braver in his mind then it did out loud. Subconsciously, he pushed the Toxin D vial into his right hand. "I will not let you destroy the Earth. I won't let you kill s-six billion people!"

It was at this point that the revelation struck Double D. Oh, he knew that his chances of surviving the plan was almost null. The fact had even bothered him. But as he considered it previously, thinking it over and looking for any flaws, it seemed an unnecessary detail.

Now he realized that he was going to die. The only way he could survive this would be if Fay were to come, but she was not coming; he could feel this in his guts.

Nazz charged forward. "TRAITOR!" she yelled, shoving him to the floor. In response, Double D kicked her back, sending her flying. This angered her more. _Double D killed Stephanie, he killed Stephanie, that inhuman monster killed- _

She charged at him as he stood up, throwing a punch at his face. Double D easily dodged it, all the while wondering where this dexterity had come from; he had never been able to dodge one of Kevin's punches.

_It killed Stephanie- _This did not deter Nazz. She simply aimed a kick at him; this Double D did not block. He fell to the floor.

_It killed Stephanie- _She kicked him, but he dodged that one.

The mantra repeated in her head, unchanging, as she charged forward; Double D, however, did not throw an offensive punch back for his hands were full. Ten punches and kicks later, the mantra changed.

_Stephanie is dead. _

Somehow, the slight variation of the words affected Nazz; Nazz fell to her feet sobbing.

Double D reluctantly crept forward. He approached her cautiously, as he would approach the Nazz from his universe, but for different reasons. She was not the same Nazz from his universe; this lady was deranged and evil and only resembled Nazz in looks. Nonetheless, though, sympathy crept into Double D's lips as he said, "N-Nazz, I know you are suffering, but trust me, Stephanie will be ok-"

Nazz looked up sharply. He knew, instantly, that he had said the wrong thing.

The grief going through Nazz made her stronger then before. She was no longer a scientist-with-a-schedule-so-busy-she-could-never-visit-a-gym, but a world-famous body builder. She flung a hand out and grabbed Double D's throat, lifting him into the air.

"S-Stop!" Double D yelled out, though the sound was much quieter then he intended from the lack of air.

Nazz smiled a maniacal smile. "You're a murderer, Double D. You killed Stephanie as you killed so many others."

The vision at the corner of Double D's eyes started to turn black. His right hand moved without his input; he stuck a needle into Nazz's arm. Nazz did not notice the pain, though.

Some distant part of Double D's mind realized what he was doing, and begged him to stop. _No- Stop it! Double D, it's not worth it-_

Everything was turning black. Double D pressed the plunger lightly; it was enough to cause a mere drop of the toxin to poor into Nazz's system.

Ten seconds later, Nazz collapsed. Double D dropped to the floor, too, gasping for air. He wondered silently what had happened, and saw the needle on the floor. "Oh my… Oh my!"

Thousands of guilt-ridden thoughts filled his mind; _How could you do that she's right you are a murder DOUBLE D how dare you double d someone's watching you Double D you used that poison if only I hadn't come here how could I do this the poison is released I might die of it-_

The thoughts silenced urgently. Double D grabbed the vial with the cure and injected himself with it, gasping in horror. After half the pinkish/gold liquid went into his veins, he dropped the vial and instead picked up the vial filled with the greenish liquid.

He stared at Parallel Nazz's body- unmoving- in horror. _I need to forget this I wish I'd forget this double d someone's watching you I've got to forget his I've got to prevent the Mission-_

Shakily, he grabbed the Cure and stood up, still staring at the body. He was facing opposite the door; he ought to turn around in case someone was watching him…

Something slapped his shoulder. Double D screamed, nearly jumping a mile into the air. Slowly, he turned around, one single thought echoing in his mind: _double d someone's watching you double d someone's watching you…_

He suppressed a scream. The thing touching him was… was… He couldn't think of anything to describe it. Instantly, the guilt towards Nazz's death was forgotten; this creature was too much to stand.

If he hadn't been so scared, he might have noted the creature's skin was made of a black substance that looked like burned sugar or flower. It almost seemed to move. He would have noticed that one of the eye sockets was empty, and the other had a demented, partially-degraded eye rotting inside it. He might have noticed the thing's missing fingers on one hand and extra fingers on another. It smelled like a combination of burning tires and decaying bodies. But this was about as far as a truly cold person could describe; any farther, and they'd be going straight to the nuthouse.

He did notice that the creature was wearing a hat…

… and not just any hat… It was a hat that Double D had seen many times in his own universe. It was…

"K-Kevin?" Double D gulped.

The creature's head made a movement; Double D thought it might be a nod, but he was too terrified to tell.

Pulling a tissue out of nowhere, Double D pushed Kevin's hand off of his shoulder. "K-Kevin, w-what happened to you?"

The creature appeared to smirk. "You brought me back from the dead, you moron."

Indeed, it was Kevin's voice. But what did he mean, 'back from the dead'? With a blink, a memory returned to Double D:

"_I thought that you said Kevin was dead!" Double D cried. _

"_Well, he did die in a motorcycle accident," Nazz said, "but you created something that brought him back to life… except, it brought him back to life… different."_

When Double D did not say anything, Kevin continued. He pointed the single finger on his right hand at Nazz. "I thought you weren't going to play around with life and death anymore."

Some part of Double D's mind wanted to protest the statement; Mission D was a very serious 'game' of life and death. Yet pure repulsion kept him silent.

Kevin growled. Double D was being annoyingly silent. "Why have you released Toxin D? Are you trying to kill everyone on this ship?"

"I'm trying to stop Mission Destruction," Double D muttered.

The formerly-human creature looked back at Nazz. "I guess she was right. You are crazy. You know, after you left, she held a meeting. She even invited me to it. She spent all this time explaining that you were against us, yet the others laughed. But now that I've had a chance to look at you, you seem off. It seems like you are only made of matter. Trying to save people and stop the plans you spent so much time working up! Are you really Double D?"

_Of course I am made of matter, _Double D thought. It was illogical; it was nonsensical. For some reason, it seemed to make Kevin more human despite his appearance. _What else would I be made of? Anti-matter?_

"Kevin, one question I have heard a lot the last couple of days was 'What is wrong with the world?'" Double D stared Kevin straight in his eyes/eye-sockets. "Do you know the answer to that question?"

Kevin gave him a blank stare.

"Let me answer it for you, then!" the boy said informingly, "You might assume the answer is 'humanity'. However, this is incorrect. The world depends on hope and honesty; these are basic concepts. One is wired into the human persona, and the other is taught before pre-school. People that give up hope damage the world, but all together aren't very harmful. People who lie also harm the world. But what truly harms the world is when the people in power become hopeless; it is when _they _become liars."

He paused, looking for any reaction from Kevin; none, though it was hard to tell.

"It is most deadly," he went on, "when the scientific give up. But what is truly wrong is when scientists give up hope, but not determination; when those with intellect forget morals. What is truly wrong with the world is the people that ran away from it, the liars who have so little hope that they think the only way to save the world is to destroy it. _Mission Destruction _is what is wrong with the world."

_Wow, _Double D blinked. _This is the only time anyone has ever let me finish a lecture. _

Kevin was giving him an odd expression; with horror, Double D realized it was a _smile. _And it was certainly not the good kind. Kevin reached an arm behind his back and pulled out a dagger.

Double D blinked. _Who keeps a dagger on their person?_

In the time it took him to think that thought, Kevin had shoved him against the wall and was holding a knife against his throat. _I never thought I would say the Kevin from my home universe is tame._

"You know, I would never have joined this mission if you hadn't gone crazy. If I weren't this undead freak, I would have just left, but I cannot fit in the way I am now." Kevin frowned. "Why did you start this mission? You were never comfortable with it, but yet you insisted it go on."

"Um- Well- Er- Please, let me go and I can explain this later? I have to stop Mission Des-"

A blinding flash of white light filled the room.


	20. Chapter 20: Ed

Disclaimer: Ed, Edd N Eddy and all its characters are copyright AKA Cartoon

**Disclaimer:** Ed, Edd N Eddy and all its characters are copyright AKA Cartoon. I am not using them for profit; I am simply using them to practice my own writing skills….

**Author: **I'm sorry that I ended last chapter with a cliffhanger… But don't worry, I will resolve Eddy and Double D's plotlines! But first I have to get through Ed's. Now on with the story!

I noticed that my spelling of Johnny's name differed from the official way of spelling his name. I won't be changing it now, but in future fanfics I will hopefully remember the correct spelling…

Chapter Twenty- Escape from the Invaded Castle

_Standing where the wall once stood was a fire-breathing dragon with orange skin and yellow eyes. Sitting on top of him in all her "glorious" horror was Lee-der-dum. A smile crossed her lips (or at least something close to a smile, considering how Lee's shiny fangs stuck out)._

_"Well, lookie here… it seems Ed is still alive. But not for long! Inferno, attack!" _

_The dragon-Inferno- took a deep breath. Ed's eyes widened- dragons were much scarier in real life, especially when one was about to burn you to a crisp! _

Everything went into slow motion, just like in a movie. Ed stared wide-eyed as the dragon exhaled, sending bright red flames agonizingly slowly towards the duo. Things were going slowly… yet he was frozen, again, just like the helpless hero of an action or horror movie….

King Johnny Plankstar recreated his shield. It formed a solid dome, surrounding them from all directions. Ed took note of its greenish color. The shield looked like it was made out of leaves… leaves and vines held together with a mystical green energy. Then he realized the reason _why _the shield looked like it was made out of glowing plants was because it _was _made out of glowing plants.

Now, it didn't take a genius to figure out what was wrong with this scenario. Johnny was protecting them from fire… by surrounding them with tinder. Ed screamed, but he was still frozen; he couldn't run away. Johnny turned his head around. "Please stop screaming, Ed! I can't focus!"

The fire finally reached the shield; and just as Ed had predicted (he was right again!), the shield burst aflame. Ed screamed, again. King Johnny silently cursed the Fairixie for sending such an inexperienced, panicky kid to replace his brave and resilient leader.

"Ed, don't panic, okay!"

This made Ed scream even louder. However, Johnny could hardly hear him over the crackling flames. He was glad for this; how could someone have such an annoying yell? It was almost as bad as Sarah's was… or rather, had been.

"Ed," he tried to explain. The fire was closing in around them, breaking his concentration; it was going to be hard to calm the boy down. "I have a guest! He'll help us! Have you ever heard of-"

He was cut off by an earsplitting scream. It was far more painful and annoying sounding than Ed's; however, this time Johnny was filled with joy. The only creature that could make such a horrible noise was a horribly wounded dragon, and Ed realized this, too. Inferno-the-dragon had been hit!

Lee-der-dum cursed loudly.

"That would be him," King Johnny said brightly. "Kevin is the only one-"

"Kevin?" Ed cried. Oh great. Another Kanker ally, probably. Now he had to fight off all his worst fears at once. It had been a great adventure so far, but Ed was suddenly wishing that he wasn't the star of this "movie" anymore.

"AHHHHHHH! My eyes! You JERK! I'll get you for this Kevin!" Lee-der-dum wailed in pain. They heard the dragon take flight… and head away from them.

_Thank goodness, _King Johnny sighed.

It was only Ed that reminded him of the predicament they were in: "Fire bad for Ed!"

The dome surrounding them had shrunken considerably; it was (obviously) not designed to fight off a fire attack. The fire was uncomfortably close to them now- enough to drive a normal Space Ranger mad. "Is my robe on fire?" King Johnny asked, scrunching up his nose. Ed nodded, horrified.

Suddenly, from outside the fire-bubble, Ed heard someone yell, "Are you okay?"

"Kevin!" Ed yelled, again horrified.

Johnny simply blinked (out of confusion; why was Ed scared of Kevin?) before saying, "Yes, we're fine. A little warm but fine… for now! Now if you would care to get us out?"

"Sure!"

Ed blinked; in the second it took for him to close his eyes, the heat disappeared. Instead, he was soaked by freezing cold water. _What the?! _"You turned fire into water?" Ed said excitedly, his eyes opening impossibly wide.

Kevin gave him an odd look. "Er, no. I put out the fire with water… Sir."

Ed stared at the parallel Kevin. He would never imagine the Kevin from his universe wearing such an outfit. It was almost a typical Space Ranger outfit, except the helmet was shaped vaguely like a hat. The material was bright blue (a color Kevin never wore at home), and his boots ended in flippers, as if though he lived on a planet made completely of water. He looked rather ridiculous.

King Johnny pulled him to the side for a moment. "That would be the guest I was talking about," he whispered. "Space Ranger Kevin, an ambassador from the planet Aquatics… ranked 654. His magic is based off of water and poison."

Ed remembered reading about element-based magic in a comic book. Typically, people that used water-based magic were sweet, artistic, graceful, and elegant. By contrast, only evil monsters used poisonous elements. "Wait!" he shouted. "_KEVIN _is a Water Elemental? And he's a Space Ranger?" Another word flickered to mind. "And he's an ambassador?" Weren't ambassadors typically… patient enough not to beat one up at the drop of a hat?

"Not so loud!" Johnny hissed, wincing.

Kevin gave Ed a blank look. "Of course I use water magic, but I'm certainly not an Elemental," he scowled. "You _should _know that. You were the one that taught me how to use magic. Why didn't you use your own water magic to douse that shield? You dork."

For a moment there, Ed thought that perhaps this Kevin wasn't related to the Kevin from his universe at all. Just a random fellow named Kevin… But then he heard _that_ overused phrase and he knew that they were, indeed, parallels.

But his mind quickly changed tracks when he remembered something Kevin had said. "Wait! I have water powers? Cool!"

Kevin's blank look quickly turned into a suspicious stare. King Johnny was prepared to make something up (or possibly tell him the truth; Ed would probably reveal it was a lie by mistake), but at that moment the room started to fill with people. Various Plan-kean Space Rangers arrived to make sure their king was okay. (He was fine, though he'd have to find a new robe; it was scorched in the fire.) TargonTroi, Saraline and Skuashi arrived to make sure that Ed was not dead.

When they made sure he wasn't (even going as far as to ask if the Kankers had cast a vampirism spell on him), they revealed the next plan of action.

"We need to get out of this palace," Skuashi squeaked.

Ed blinked. "Why? Aren't the Kankers gone from it now?"

"No!" TargonTroi shook his head. "They've just left this particular part. There are thousands of Kanker Alliance soldiers on this planet, and we need to organize the Space Rangers to stop them!"

"Right," Kevin, who was listening in on the conversation, said.

With that, the group got into an appropriate arrangement. The various Plan-kean Space Rangers stood at front, preparing their plant-based magic. Kevin and Saraline made up the next row. Ed, shaking horribly, and Johnny, standing nobly, stood behind the two. And finally, Skuashi and TargonTroi stood behind them. That way, should anyone attack the two nobles (Ed-the-ruler-of-the-universe or King Johnny), they would be protected from front and back.

It turned out that this arrangement was a good one. The very second they stepped out of the simulation room, a group of Ishees attacked them from behind. Twenty daggers of ice materialized out of nowhere, flying towards the group at impossibly high speeds. Ironically, things seemed to be on "fast forward" mode, where only minutes before, for Ed at least, they had been "slowed down."

Ed turned around to watch TargonTroi and Skuashi's response to the approaching threat. Skuashi, despite looking pretty much like a penguin, was very talented using a Blaster. In a single motion, ten of the ice daggers were blasted out of the air and turned into puddles of liquid. TargonTroi took care of the other ten; Ed was surprised to see his magic was fire-based. He angrily melted the daggers.

The two prepared more attacks, this time to aim at the Ishees themselves, but at that point Johnny turned Ed around. "You've got to look forward or you might trip… and that could be fatal."

"I think he knows that, King Johnny," Kevin scoffed, though he himself didn't believe the statement. Something was clearly wrong with Ed; was it even Ed at all?

He didn't have time to ponder the statement or let his suspicions develop, though. Fifty five Vampiras, an entirely female species that shared many qualities with vampires (except they fed off of plant life, not people) charged towards them.

"What?" Saraline gasped. "This can't be! The Vampiras are one of the most peaceful species in the galaxy!"

Though the fact that the vampires had turned into bats and were now clawing at the Plan-kean Space Rangers' eyes said otherwise….

Everyone prepared their magic at once. King Johnny sent out colorful purple vines that surrounded and trapped many of the Vampira bats. They transformed back into their human form, but before they could pray off of the vine (once voted the best-tasting food on the Vampira home planet), Kevin summoned a giant wave of deep purple water. _Poisoned _water.

King Johnny retracted the vines just in time to avoid having them be melted by the poisonous liquid. The Vampira, though, did not have enough time to leave.

The many Plan-kean Rangers had managed to get a hold of themselves; they, too, used various forms of plant-based magic to keep the other Vampira at bay. Bright balls of energy were surrounding Saraline; Ed noticed that these balls of energy were changing shape… transforming… into steak.

Yes, steak. No, not stakes; not the cross-shaped pieces of wood you put in the ground. Steak, as in the food that people ate. Ed almost laughed; that was pretty cool.

Apparently, _steaks_ were the Vampira's natural weakness; as soon as the raw, stinky meat touched their flesh, they dissolved, letting out horrible screams. Ed suddenly wished he could help out in the battle, but he had dropped his weapons and he didn't even know the basics of magic.

"Help us, Ed! What are you doing?" Kevin suddenly yelled. He prepared another wave of poisonous water as another wave of Vampira charged at them.

Blasts of light appeared from behind Ed; apparently, there were no more threats from behind. Skuashi and TargonTroi could focus on the wave of monster appearing from the front.

He never answered Kevin's question. Kevin scowled.

"Okay, Ed," Skuashi said as the others continued to fight. "There are way more Kanker Alliance soldiers here then we thought. We are going to get reinforcements, but it may not be enough! And we need to tell everyone about the Kanker's attack now before it's too late…"

He fired the Blaster at a stray Vampira, flying towards Ed's head. It fell to the ground with a scream. "Thank you," Ed said, staring nervously at the corpse. Of course, because the entire group of Space Rangers was running as a unit, it quickly disappeared from site, but still Ed stared in its direction nervously…

"No problem!" Skuashi squeaked. "After we gather an army, we're going to head straight to the Kanker's home world and get this sorted out as soon as possible… Hopefully. If we wait to long like we did last time…"

Suddenly, TargonTroi cursed in an alien language. Ed span around to see what had made him so angry. He gasped. "GIANTS!"

The hallway was gigantic. It was at least twenty feet tall and forty feet wide.

The three creatures standing in front of the group were large enough to fill the space. There was no way the group could sneak through.

The full-sized Blasters, which looked ridiculously tiny in their hands, were very modern and high tech. They conflicted highly with the leather robes they wore. It gave them a primitive appearance, despite the fact that Giants were extremely intelligent beings. The GiantCows were the only thing in the universe big enough to supply clothing for the creatures, though. Of course they could kill millions of plants and animals to adorn themselves with more sophisticated clothing, but that would conflict with the statement that "Giants were extremely intelligent."

Each of the Giants held four Blasters. They had no intention of using them to blast creatures. The items were simply too tiny; they made much better Ninja-stars.

The Giants started throwing down the Blasters, and at the speed they were going, it was enough to kill a man. Or so Ed figured when he saw one of the Plan-kean soldiers heads snap off when the Blaster reached him. He almost screamed, but by now had gained some sort of survival instinct; _don't attract attention. Screaming is bad. _

"Don't just stand there!" King Johnny commanded everyone. "Attack back!"

Ed stared, wide-eyed, as vines, fire, poisonous water, swords (produced by Saraline), and blasts of energy struck one of the giant's legs. The giant screamed, causing the roof to shake severely. In anger, the giant threw all of his blasters at once.

One headed right towards Ed. Suddenly, the crystal on his breastplate started glowing. Miraculously, Ed was able to grab the Blaster without any injuries. "Yeah!"

In celebration, he ran around in miniature circles, randomly shooting the Blaster. It turned out he was shooting at just the right places; he had blinded the Giants, who were now stumbling about. King Johnny grabbed his hand, ending the celebratory run prematurely and forcing him to run with the rest of the group.

They managed to sneak past the blinded, wailing Giants. Finally, they were in the main hall. The main hall was suspiciously free of enemies, but nonetheless the group continued onward.

When they opened the doors, they realized why there weren't any enemies in the palace. All of the Space Rangers on the planet appeared to be in the front courtyard. Each appeared to be fighting four or five Ishees or Vampiras or Spgobons or Giants…. For miles upon miles, all Ed could see was magic being thrown at one another under the massive sun…

King Johnny, though, did not seem worried. Perhaps he was good at hiding stress under a mask of calmness. Ed watched blankly as he started to twirl his Doritorium staff.

"Hey, what are you doing, King Johnny?"

Johnny did not respond immediately. He focused on the staff, which started to glow. Suddenly, it transformed into… a _microphone. _

"Space Rangers of Plankstar!"

His voice echoed for miles; the battles did not stop, but Ed could see that the Rangers were nonetheless listening closely.

"I am heading to the Space Ranger Headquarters to get reinforcements. Until I return, Priest Knalp will be set in control."

Priest Knalp was fighting nearby. He stopped to nod at the King before returning to battle. Ed noticed that the young man was wearing a mix of Space Ranger armor and priest robes. _Odd combo. _But he also noticed that Knalp had two red eyes. One was slightly longer horizontally; the other was slightly longer vertically. He looked very familiar, actually…

"Everyone, use the Alpha-Omega move!" King Johnny suddenly said. Behind Ed, he could hear some of the Plan-keans whispering.

Slowly, the battles stopped; the monsters and creatures threw attacks at the Space Rangers, but the attacks continuously missed. Priest Knalp was the first one Ed heard chanting; he was speaking in some sort of ancient tongue. Ed recognized a few of the words. He was saying "Plank" and "Plan-ke" a lot, as if though he were praying. He was also repeating the Greek alphabet over and over again. A few words that Ed had heard in monster movies were thrown in here and there… but all together, it sounded like gibberish. _Elegant_ gibberish, but still gibberish.

Suddenly, all the other Space Rangers- except for Ed, King Johnny, Kevin, Saraline, Skuashi, TargonTroi- were chanting the ancient chant loudly over and over again.

Each time they said the Greekish chant, their clothes started glowing brighter and brighter. It was magic, Ed knew, but whereas the magic he'd seen so far had been multiple colors this one had melted into one color; white.

"Shoot!" Skuashi said from behind him in his squeaky voice. Ed turned around to see what the problem was.

Saraline paled. "Is something wrong with the teleporter?"

"No, the teleporter is working fine," TargonTroi muttered. "But the Kankers must have cast a spell on this planet. Its polar fields are now completely incompatible with the teleporter."

"So… No teleportation?" Ed asked.

"No," the three said in unison, their tones completely different. Saraline seemed stressed- as if weary with old age- though her pose looked like a child told they couldn't have a cookie. TargonTroi said the word in a tone that implied "no" might have been a curse word. And Skuashi said it squeakily, unintentionally making his annoyance seem like fear.

"I drove my spaceship here," Kevin said, glaring at Ed. Ed was now paying attention to the sky, which was turning white do to the intensity of the magic. Around him, members of the Kanker Alliance stood stunned. The magic has frozen the majority of them; for some, it was too much and they started to melt into tiny gooey puddles. "It can penetrate through the magical shield the Space Rangers are building without damaging it. Let's use that-"

Ed suddenly twirled around, his eyes excited. "We're riding in a UFO?!" He started hopping up and down eagerly.

"No… I just _identified _it, sir. How can it be an _Unidentified _Flying Object, you dork?" Kevin growled.

The teen paid no attention to his words and ran off, yelling, "UFO! UFO! Let's go to the UFO! YEAH!"

Skuashi immediately started running after him. "Ed, you don't even know where it is!"

"Yeah," Kevin said, glaring at the person who was supposed to be the leader of his universe. "It's in the opposite direction."

With help from TargonTroi and Saraline, Skuashi managed to calm down Ed. They started walking in the correct direction. Moments later, they were walking into Kevin's ship. It was massive and dark blue; however, the magic aura surrounding the planet of PlankStar made it look like it was glowing with a white light. The white light had formed a dense fog around the ship, but it didn't seem to deter Kevin at all as he started the engines up.

TargonTroi and Skuashi took seats in front of massive computer screens. Ed sat down in a random chair. The inside was very formal, but was nonetheless very impressive. It was dome shaped; the left half of the dome had transparent walls, and Ed eagerly viewed the giant mist. (In the distance, blurred by the intense white light, he could see the SpaceRangers chanting.) The other half of the dome was covered with expensive high-tech equipment and doors leading to other rooms.

The seats with the view of PlankStar were squirmy; Ed realized that they were made out of the same material as a waterbed. However, the seats in front of the many monitors and computers were solid; Ed was clearly in the "relaxation" sector of the ship.

As the others started the countdown sequence (Saraline passed by to tell him to put on his seat belt), Ed saw Knalp. The Space Rangers had formed a circle, and Knalp was in the middle. Suddenly, Ed breathed onto the transparent wall. Before the fog his breath produced had a chance to fade, Ed wrote the name backwards.

Knalp was Plank. He even looked vaguely like Plank.

But before Ed could make a peculiar comment on this, the countdown began.

Skuashi started it. "This ship will be blasting off in 10… 9… 8…"

Kevin rolled his eyes; Skuashi was the only one who followed the protocol that strictly. But he didn't say anything. Instead he simply sat on the Captain's chair and swirled around to glare at Ed, who was grinning with excitement. _You'd think he'd never been on a space ship before… Maybe he hasn't. Who is this dork, and why is he pretending to be Ed?_

"…2...1… BLAST OFF!"

And, suddenly, they were flying towards the bright white sky. The G-force was taking its toll on everyone; their skin acted as if it were trying to escape their faces. Ed was still grinning, his eyes even wider now that the gravity stretch his eyelids across his forehead.

"Oh no!" King Johnny, sitting on Ed's right, yelled out in horror. Immediately, everyone turned around, though that was no easy force when gravity was putting what felt like a million pounds of pressure upon your body.

In the distance, another ship was seen flying out of the Space Ranger's shield. It was ridiculously big; it was painted black; and it was ugly.

"Kankers?" Ed gasped.

They weren't able to tell in the white glow. But moments later, they were in space (and the extra pressure upon their bodies was thankfully gone), and it was obvious who the ship belonged to.

"It is the ship of Lee-der-dum, May-toe-jam and Marie-mop-plop," Kevin growled. But before anyone could add something to the statement, the gigantic and ugly ship flew in the opposite direction- away from Kevin's ship.

Saraline sighed with relief; it was unusual for a Kanker spaceship to fly off without attacking something… anything. "I guess we're safe for now. I'm glad we managed to survive that second attack…"

"Second?" Kevin asked, his eyes widening.

TargonTroi and Skuashi turned around. TargonTroi scowled, "Yes, second. Apparently the Kankers have been planning this move for awhile. They attacked the Earth already."

King Johnny Plankstar knew the conversation was important, but he knew that Ed needed to learn magic even more. Although he wasn't the Ed from their universe, he still might have had the ability to operate the EdCrystal. "Let's practice magic some more, Ed."

"Buttered toast," Ed nodded in agreement. King Johnny decided not to ask what _toast _was. That was probably a good thing; Ed would have gone ballistic if he'd known someone hadn't tried buttered toast!

The people in the ship adjusted. Johnny and Ed stood at the side with transparent walls. Kevin, TargonTroi, Skuashi and Saraline sat near the high tech equipment, reviewing the Kanker's first attack.

"Okay, Ed. Try to summon a magical weapon," King Johnny said patiently, waving his staff around. "This is my favorite magical weapon- the Staff of Plank. It has been passed down for generations; some say that Plank, himself, once used this. Ed has a favorite magical weapon- the sword of Ed. Try summoning that."

"How?" Ed said blankly.

King Johnny sighed. If he was asking how to summon a weapon, then there was no way he could summon the Sword of Ed. Instead, he suggested that Ed summon anything he could think of. Heck, creating a new, weak magical weapon would be easier then summoning the Sword of Ed.

"Focus all your energy and mind power," Johnny said. "Imagine the item as clearly as you can, then make it appear."

Now that command was not easy for Ed. It was hard for him to focus on anything serious for long periods of time. But he _was _able to focus on movies and comics for long periods of time, and his life, at the moment, was like a Sci-Fi/ horror movie. So he started focusing on… the zombies from _Zombie Attack 28: Night of the Alien Zombies! _

A mystical light, orange-red in color, filled Ed's hands. "It's working!" he said eagerly.

Johnny's eyes widened. "Wait a moment! What are you trying to summon?"

The orange-red light exploded, leaving Johnny and Ed's faces cartoonishly burnt. Smoke filled the entirety of the ship; Kevin and Ed's advisors could be heard coughing loudly.

"WHAT THE HECK ARE YOU DOING OVER THERE?" Kevin screamed.

"Um… um…" Ed decided to answer King Johnny's question first. "Zombies."

"You can't summon living… er… undead creatures at your level of magic!" King Johnny cried. "ED couldn't even do that!"

"What the heck is that supposed to mean?" Kevin yelled. The smoke was, fortunately, disappearing quickly. But as Kevin marched forward, Ed couldn't help but wonder if the smoke had disappeared into his eyes; they seemed to be on fire, almost literally, with anger. "Who is this guy? Is this ED or is it an IMPOSTER?"

Ed ducked behind Johnny for protection. King Johnny rubbed his temples; he was developing a major headache.

Saraline sighed. "He's not the Ed from our universe."

Kevin whirled around. "What?"

"Er, come sit down Kevin," Skuashi said. "We'll explain everything. Don't blow a casket."

Kevin reluctantly sat down and listened. After hearing the story of Ed's origins, Kevin turned around. Johnny was trying to teach Ed to summon something, again, but it was still unsuccessful. Turning back to the trio, he whispered conspiratorially, "That's what he told you. Are you sure he isn't a Kanker spy? They might have the real Ed locked up somewhere! This guy might be lying to you."

The trio looked over.

"Ed, please try to focus!" King Johnny cried.

Ed blinked. "Focus. Isn't that a dance? Focus dance! Focus dance!" He suddenly started dancing the chicken dance, ignoring Johnny's cries of frustration.

Turning back to face Kevin, they said in unison, "I doubt it."

"I give up!" Johnny cried. "Let's stop for today. The Space Ranger Headquarters is on the planet Nebulon. That can't be that far from here."

"Only 5 astronomical units away," Saraline answered. "We should be there in about fifteen minutes."

"Hey, what's that?" Ed suddenly asked, staring at the transparent wall. Everyone turned around quickly. In the distance, they could see a small gray spot, approaching at very fast speeds.

Even closer, they could see…

"A missile!" TargonTroi said what everyone else was thinking. And with that phrase, everyone (except Ed, still staring wide-eyed at the approaching weapon) ran to one of the monitors. "How fast is it coming?"

"It should be here in-" Skuashi quickly calculated the answer in his head- "five seconds!"

Kevin cursed. "Brace yourself!"

**Author's Note: **Yeah, a cliffhanger! Earlier on in this chapter, I mentioned Kevin's rank. I decided I wanted to expand on that but didn't have a place to put it in the story. So I'll expand it here!

A typical Space Ranger- at the age of 35 (or the species' equivalent)- is ranked 100. Rank is based off of magical abilities, combat abilities, years of experience, conduct, and battles won… among other things.

"Parallel" Ed is ranked at 5,000- the maximum rank. Ed from the Ed Edd n Eddy universe would probably have a rank of 3.

Skuashi- 1200

Saraline- 1043

TargonTroi- 1000

The above three are part of the main central government along with Ed; that is why they have such high scores.

King Johnny- 780

Kevin- 654

Priest Knalp- 50

Well above the average… Except for Knalp, who is primarily a priest and secondarily a Space Ranger.

Jimmy, as mentioned in Chapter Seven, had a rank of 2,055. Sarah was not officially part of the Space Rangers, but she would have had a score of 3089.


	21. Chapter 21: Ed

Disclaimer: Ed, Edd N Eddy and all its characters are copyright AKA Cartoon

**Disclaimer:** Ed, Edd N Eddy and all its characters are copyright AKA Cartoon. I am not using them for profit; I am simply using them to practice my own writing skills….

**Author: **Another Ed chapter! There are five-six chapters of this story left. Wow… And the story's only about three years old, haha.

_Note_: SR-ComLink-WWs are brought back from chapter 7….

**Beta Reader****: ** Colton M. H.

Thank you!

Chapter Twenty-one - Nebulon, Headquarters of the Space Rangers

"_A missile!" TargonTroi said what everyone else was thinking. And with that phrase, everyone (except Ed, still staring wide-eyed at the approaching weapon) ran to one of the monitors. "How fast is it coming?"_

"_It should be here in-" Skuashi quickly calculated the answer in his head- "five seconds!"_

_Kevin cursed. "Brace yourself!" _

Three seconds later, three meters away, the missile exploded. It seemed to have run into a transparent wall-a shield, Ed quickly realized. Nonetheless, the impact of the missile upon the shield caused Ed to fall over.

"I told you to brace yourself," Kevin muttered. "I haven't been able to upgrade the shield system yet."

Ed turned around, eyes sparkling. "Cool! A shield! Just like in the Spikoo Chronicles, when-"

_There's nothing cool about this, _Kevin thought, eye twitching as the Ed-boy rambled on. _Nobody can be this dumb or naïve. He must be faking it._

"The Kankers are sending a communication message," Saraline reported, staring at the flashing monitor before her. Out of habit, she asked Ed, "Sir, do I have permission to answer?"

"Cool! Answer!" Ed said, running (or, rather, hopping) up next to her. He put on a formal face. "I'm going to practice acting, just like Spikoo did."

"Wait, wha-?" But it was too late; Saraline had pressed the button allowing the communication link to occur.

The disturbing faces of the Kankers appeared on screen. An unnatural orange light glowed, seemingly from the floors of their ship; it conflicted with their greenish skin, making them look even scarier and uglier then usual. Ed noticed that each of the Kankers were completely unharmed. "Hey," he said (forgetting that he was supposed to be acting) before the three Kanker leaders could make a threatening remark. "Didn't Kevin blind you with poison, Lee?"

Lee-der-dum's face twisted in rage. "It is LEE-DER-DUM! I AM NOT LEE! And I was _going _to offer you a chance to survive _if _you gave us the EdCrystal. But now I'm refusing to accept a peaceful surrender-"

The "petite" of the Kankers, Marie-mop-plop, scowled. "Lee-der-dum! Peaceful surrender would be awesome! Shut up! We're still offering a peaceful surrender. We'll let you live if you give us the EdCrystal."

"Never!" Ed yelled valiantly, much to the other Space Ranger's relief. For a moment, they feared that he would have said something else to give the Kankers an advantage. Or, in Kevin's mind, that he'd simply just hand the crystal over….

"Okay then," Lee-der-dum said darkly, pushing Marie-mop-plop and May-toe-jam out of her way. "Prepare to die."

The communication link shut down. Skuashi gasped and, swinging to another monitor, upped the power of the shield around them. TargonTroi turned the weapon system online and Saraline started scanning to see what the Kankers were throwing at them.

"Seven missiles are heading our way!" Saraline yelled. "Everyone head to battle stations!"

TargonTroi pressed a button and the transparent wall in front of Ed started to change form. Outside of the ship, five "cannons" appeared. The inside morphed so that, although there was still a transparent wall, there were also simpler monitors for aiming and targeting the "cannons." King Johnny and Kevin rushed to two of these stations. After getting a scolding glance from Kevin, Ed rushed to the third.

Upon looking at the controls, Ed realized it wasn't a "cannon." It was a Gigantic Space Blaster of Doom, of a GSBOD, straight from the _Star Walk Golden Comics, _one of the many alternate universe versions of the Star Walk series. Ed already knew the controls by heart. It was as easy to remember as… gravy.

Between the time it took for TargonTroi to say the GSBODs were loaded and for King Johnny and Kevin to aim, Ed shot down three of the approaching lasers. By the time King Johnny and Kevin had shot down one each, Ed had stopped five.

By now, the Kanker's ship was only one mile away. The ship was enormous… and firing another attack, this time from its own GSBODs.

Ed squinted; the part of the Kanker ship that was facing them had a transparent window apparently showing into the captain's lounge. He could see Lee-der-dum yelling orders, though he couldn't see who was receiving them. (The other Kankers, perhaps?)

"You guys, aim for their Weapon System!" Saraline yelled, looking at the monitor. "It's the place where their shield is weakest!"

Ed turned around. "Where is their Weapon System?"

Kevin and King Johnny were already aiming. However, they were not as quick as Ed; by the time it took them to press the fire button, the Kanker's laser blast had already reached Kevin's ship.

"The Weapon System-" Saraline tried to explain, but the sound of the explosion overpowered her voice.

All of the GSBODs, except for one, were destroyed. Kevin and King Johnny rushed to the only unharmed GSBOD, followed by Ed.

Skuashi yelped, "The shields are only at 10 percent power!"

Saraline turned around to look at TargonTroi. He turned around too, an expression of dread filling his face. "The remaining GSBOD is offline, and there aren't any missiles in the Missile Launcher. Kevin, it is common protocol to always have at least three missiles in your Missile Launcher!"

Kevin, who was glaring suspiciously at Ed, didn't hear the chastisement. He was wondering how someone who had _supposedly _come from a technologically backward universe was so good at firing a GSBOD. He wouldn't have given the true answer anyway; he had wasted all his missiles while playing a game of Ship vs. Ship with another highly-ranked Space Ranger. Not exactly an answer you'd give to some of the highest members of your government…

"What are we going to do?" King Johnny said, glaring at the broken GSBOD monitor.

The Kanker ship was preparing a large attack, it seemed; their tiny GSBODs were merging into a large one. Saraline watched this and gasped. "I've got an idea. We can use the experimental Magic Beam move!"

"Wait, what?" Skuashi and TargonTroi asked in unison.

Kevin and Johnny turned around in unison. "Are you crazy?" they asked angrily/in shock (respectively.)

Saraline pretended she couldn't hear them. She walked slowly, but bouncily, as only a half-young/half-old person could. She placed her hand on the GSBOD. Ed watched in awe (well the others watched in surprise and horror) as Saraline started glowing. Suddenly, a small beam of light emerged from the GSBOD, hitting against the Kanker's shield. It was pure white; a pure magic beam!

On the captain's lounge, he could see the Kankers stop, stare at the beam, then burst into laughter… almost in unison.

"Help me!" Saraline said almost coldly.

Kevin sighed. "Well, better then standing around here and dieing." He, too, put his hand on the monitor and focused. The beam grew a little larger.

Meanwhile the giant GSBOD on the Kanker ship was beginning to glow a menacing shade of red.

"Stop it, you guys!" Skuashi yelled. "The ship can't handle this surge of magical energy! You'll short-circuit the computers if you keep doing this!"

King Johnny squinted. "Look! Is the shield weakening?"

"Probably not-" TargonTroi began.

"It is!" Johnny cried out eagerly. With a wave of his hand, his Doritorium staff disappeared. He put all his energy into the monitor, too. The white magic beam grew larger and brighter; Ed, too, could see the Kanker's shield weakening.

TargonTroi sighed. "It _appears_ the shield is growing weaker. We must do everything in our power to stop the Kankers, and this is apparently the only thing we can do..."

He got up and joined them.

Ed turned to Skuashi. "Why don't you join them?"

"Er, um," Skuashi looked around the room- anywhere but Ed. "I, er…I don't have magic! That's it. I don't have magic."

The Kankers were still laughing aboard their own ship; May-toe-jam suddenly turned around and suggested something to the others. The others laughed; Lee-der-dum apparently pressed a button.

The shields around the Kanker's ship disappeared. "By Plank, they're mocking us!" King Johnny yelled as the giant magic beam hit the side of the ship, hardly damaging it at all.

Skuashi sighed reluctantly. "If only you remembered how to use your magic, Ed."

Ed blinked. "If only Gravyman where here to save us!"

Blinking slightly, the penguinish fellow turned around to ask Ed what the heck a _Gravyman _was. He paused when he saw the sight of Ed. Ed was glowing. In fact… he was glowing very, very brightly. "Ed!" Skuashi cried happily. "Your magic is working!"

"It is?" Ed cried, looking down at his glowing hands. White dots of energy moved up and down his arms and legs, somewhat like the larva from _Mutant Insect Babies 2… _had the larva been made of pure energy. "COOOOLLL!"

"Help them, Ed!" Skuashi said, suddenly turning to the monitor.

"Okie-dokie!" Ed nodded. He ran wildly towards the GSBOD monitor, almost knocking Kevin and King Johnny out of the way.

The second he placed his hand on the monitor, the energy beam stopped. Then a giant explosion seemed to emerge from their GSBOD; the entire Kanker ship was surrounded by a huge cloud of magical energy!

Skuashi looked at one of the various larger, permanent monitors and gasped. "That blast was off the chart! That was enough magical energy to DESTROY an entire PLANET! And our ship wasn't even harmed! Wow!"

At this, the Space Rangers turned away from the monitor, gasping for breath as they regained their magic. Then, at once, they started cheering. Even Kevin smiled; certainly, if Ed had helped them destroy the Kanker's main ship, then he was on their side-

A familiar noise filled the air. Everyone turned towards the largest monitor in the center of the ship… the ones that the Kankers had communicated to them with. Reluctantly, Saraline walked up to it. "They're sending… a communication link request… the… Kankers…"

Kevin, Johnny, TargonTroi, Ed and Skuashi turned around. Only Saraline continued to stare at the monitor.

The cloud of white magic had faded away. And the Kanker ship wasn't harmed _at all_. Ed almost started screaming. Instead, he turned around and said, "Accept the communication link."

No one moved; they continued to stare, as if expecting the ship to implode in any second. It had to. It just had to…. Only Saraline moved, pressing a button on the monitor. Seconds later, the Kankers appeared on screen. Ed glared determinedly at them.

They glared back.

Ed glared at them, unmoving. They glared back, unmoving. Ed continued to glare, his face not moving. Finally, Lee-der-dum moved. "Aren't you going to SAY SOMETHING?"

"What is your secret, evil Siblings from the bowels of Hades?" Ed yelled.

The three Kankers responded at once. Two snapped that they were, in fact, from the planet of Kanker, not the bowels of Hades.

May-toe-jam, however, had something more informative to say. "Your silly attack can't defeat US! Our weapon is almost as strong as the EdCrystal. It even cured Lee-der-dum's eyes-"

Screaming, the other two Kankers jumped on her, yelling at her to shut up. Everyone on Ed's ship turned around and started speaking at once. Only Ed continued to stare determinedly at the screen.

In anger, Lee-der-dum slammed on the keyboard. "May-toe-jam, you IDIOT! We've lost the advantage of surprise!" She slammed at the keyboard again; the movement happened to turn off the communication link. Nonetheless, Ed stared determinedly at the screen; he had read of the technique in a comic book. Staring a good guy down would get them to confess to anything… and he figured the reverse was true, too. It was, apparently.

"What on Plankstar did they mean?" King Johnny muttered. "A weapon almost as strong as the EdCrystal?"

"They're bluffing," TargonTroi said. "It's probably not that powerful. They said it was _almost _as strong, and they've lied in the past. It has to be a scare tactic."

Saraline continued to sit at the monitor, staring blankly. Skuashi stared hopelessly at another monitor, entering information in. Ed stared, unwavering, at Saraline's monitor, as if the Kankers could still see him. Kevin continued to stare suspiciously at the Kanker ship; the white glow hadn't completely faded yet, but he could see-

-the beam of energy that the Kankers had intended to attack them with had grown considerably. Kevin realized that they were prepared to fire. Cursing, he ran to the only one of the three monitors unoccupied- the one that, fortunately, also controlled steering.

King Johnny and TargonTroi were unaware of this. They continued their argument. "But we sent a blast of pure magic at them that could _destroy an entire planet_!" Johnny cried out in frustration. "They have to have a magical weapon of some sort-"

Their argument was cut off. Johnny, TargonTroi and Ed- the only three who weren't sitting down- were thrown across the ship as Kevin made a sharp turn. The turn just narrowly avoided the blood-red blast the Kankers sent.

Skuashi analyzed the blast. "That was powerful enough to destroy a planet too…"

"Raw energy powerful enough to destroy a planet?" King Johnny muttered, easily standing up. TargonTroi was up, too, but Ed was too dizzy to stand up for any length longer then a second. (In other words, he kept falling down.)

Johnny continued his thought, staring warily at the slipping Space Ranger. "Sounds almost as powerful as the EdCrystal to me!"

Saraline suddenly stood up. "We need to get the Kanker ship away from Nebulon. If they can destroy entire planets, then they could easily destroy the Headquarters… Skuashi, do you have a teleporter ready?"

Skuashi looked up urgently. Almost out of nowhere, he produced a teleporter. "What coordinates?"

"A no-teleportation zone. One that can be teleported into, but not out of," Saraline responded.

"The only one within range," Skuashi responded immediately, "isn't very far from here. It would take the Kankers three days to fly out of the zone, and then they could probably teleport to Nebulon…"

"Three days?" Saraline sighed. "Well, we need any advantage we can get right now…"

Skuashi tossed her the teleporter. Ed decided he would stand up another time. Instead, he watched with interest as Saraline turned the teleporter into a purple beam of light. She walked up to the GSBOD and sent the beam of light at the Kankers' ship. In a blast of purple energy, it disappeared. "Cool," Ed said for the thousandth time, suddenly standing up energetically. (He seemed to have finally found his legs; he wasn't falling anymore.)

Kevin suddenly stood up. "We're about three seconds away from Nebulon."

As if on cue, the ship stopped in front of a giant planet. The planet was illuminated with giant lights, causing it to almost glow green. Ed could see, even from a distance, the gigantic buildings. He looked around and saw many other Space Ranger ships heading onto the planet.

"Sit down," Kevin instructed everyone. King Johnny and TargonTroi sat down at the comfortable 'waterchairs' this time. Ed stared blankly before realizing, he, too, was supposed to sit down… and he did.

The trip into a planet's atmosphere, Ed learned, was far less pleasant then the trip out. When the ship landed, he almost ran out the door, eager to see ground again- and not just any ground, but the ground of the Space Rangers headquarters! However, Skuashi prevented him from heading any farther then the door. "According to Space Rangers Transportation Guide, page 22, section 1A, paragraph 3, there is a special order to line up in if you happen to be teleporting Ed or other royalty."

Seconds later, they were in that special order. Kevin and TargonTroi were lined up in front. King Johnny and Ed made up the middle. Skuashi and Saraline made up the rear; again, this formation was used to protect royalty from a rear attack.

The second the door opened, Ed could hear many, many people talking at once. Apparently, many, many people were in Nebulon's parking lot- er, landing zone. Ed could hear what some were saying:

"A major fight-"

"Enough positive energy to destroy a planet… but far more worrisome, enough _negative _energy to destroy a planet!"

"Is there a war-"

"All the teleportation devices in the galaxy are _down!_"

"-only temporarily. They're working on a fix right now."

Finally, it was Ed's turn to step outside; he looked at his surroundings in amazement. Thousands of spaceships sat around them, apparently atop a metallic structure. There seemed to be at least double the amount of Space Rangers talking excitedly among themselves. However, one of them spotted Ed; a moment later, everyone had heard of Ed's arrival and had fallen silent.

Kevin mumbled, "Let's head to-"

He was interrupted. Ed knew that the world of Plankstar was in danger, and the Earth was too. So he got straight to the point. Ever so charismatically, he yelled at the top of his lungs, "THE KANKERS ARE ATTACKING! WE NEED REINFORCEMENTS _OR THE APOCALYPSE WILL COME!_"

His companions sighed/slapped their selves on the forehead/glared suspiciously at him. They could almost hear the Space Ranger's heartbeats double; however, they had been trained intensely _not _to panic. That was the only thing that prevented them from running in circles and grabbing guns and heading (in a most unorganized way) to the planet Kanker that very moment. It was rare to find a Space Ranger that had not lost a friend or relative in the first Kanker Rebellion; many wanted to avenge their lost loved ones. And this would be the perfect opportunity; besides, attacking at that moment would protect anymore loved ones from dieing….

"Stay here," Kevin said, eyeing the Space Rangers suspiciously. The last thing they needed right now was a massive panic. "And, by Ed's orders, don't move."

They didn't. Scowling, Kevin continued walking; Ed stared around at the many alien species and fancy uniforms in wonder. His group quickly left the parking lot, and Ed took time to gape at the enormous orange sky, dotted with many landing and leaving spacecraft. When the sky grew boring, he smiled eagerly at the many high tech buildings around them. It looked just like the buildings from that horror movie—

Ed's thoughts trailed off when he realized he had no clue where they were going. So he asked Kevin.

Kevin didn't respond; that question was beneath him. He knew this fellow wasn't from another universe, and he wasn't going to answer his fake stupid questions. TargonTroi turned around to answer; "The Military Headquarters."

"Cool."


	22. Chapter 22: Ed

Disclaimer: Ed, Edd N Eddy and all its characters are copyright AKA Cartoon

**Disclaimer:** Ed, Edd N Eddy and all its characters are copyright AKA Cartoon. I am not using them for profit; I am simply using them to practice my own writing skills….

**Author: **Oh my, the chapters keep getting longer and longer, huh? And the updates keep getting shorter and shorter! Don't worry, though; I will finish this story (eventually.)

Chapter Twenty-two: Trebles and Iceshes and Combats, Oh My!

_Ed's thoughts trailed off when he realized he had no clue where they were going. So he asked Kevin._

_Kevin didn't respond; that question was beneath him. He knew this fellow wasn't from another universe, and he wasn't going to answer his fake stupid questions. TargonTroi turned around to answer; "The Military Headquarters."_

_"Cool."_

Moments later, they stopped in front of a huge building, apparently thousands of stories high. It was surrounded by some of the largest, strongest Space Rangers Ed had seen; however, the Space Rangers quickly moved aside when they saw "weak ol'" Ed in the center of the group.

The interior decoration of the building was even odder; the oddest thing was the moving conveyer belt beneath their feet. "Hey, just like the one Double D made!" Ed suddenly yelled excitedly. "Except shinier."

"Who is Double D?!" Kevin turned around, glaring him straight in the eyes. Luckily, as said, they had a conveyer belt beneath them; the flow of the line wasn't interrupted.

"My bestest, best pal," Ed chirped cheerfully, ignorant of Kevin's suspicions, "along with Eddy. Hey, do they exist here?"

"Um-" Skuashi pulled out his SR-ComLink-WW, and quickly typed in a word. "No. I'm afraid you are the only one in this universe whose name begins with the phrase _Ed. _And there is no one named or codenamed Double D. So, no Eddy or Double D…"

Ed blinked, entering his rare hyper-intelligent mode. "So the Fairixie split us up? Well, no one can truly replace your best friends, so I guess it makes sense that Eddy and Double D don't have clones in this universe. Maybe we should have asked not to be split up."

Before anyone (in particular, Kevin) could comment on his sudden intellect, the conveyer belt stopped in front of a door. Kevin glared suspiciously at Ed one last time before pulling out his own SR-ComLink-WW and scanning the door.

"Welcome, 10-star Intergalactic General Number 1. How many guests are you bringing?" a robotic voice asked. "Please list their names and identification numbers."

Kevin simply listed the names; the computer recognized who they were. After all, King Johnny _was_ the ruler of a planet; Ed, TargonTroi, Saraline and Skuashi _were_ the top branch of the universal government. The door opened with a dramatic swish, almost eager to let such royalty in.

Inside, there was a relatively tiny room. It consisted of a large round table; multiple flat screen monitors (with statistics and maps appearing and disappearing from them rapidly) and a large round table. The table was occupied by nine women and men of different species, all arguing about the Kanker attack. (Yes, news traveled that quickly. Apparently Kevin's command to stay put was ignored.) Suddenly, Ed recognized one of the top Generals as Rolf!

"Hiya, Rolf! You're a 10-star Intergalactic General?"

The arguing stopped immediately. Rolf turned around, looking confused. Nonetheless, he saluted Ed, as was custom. "Yes… we all are, Sir Ed."

"Sir Ed," another person- a purplish creature with extra eyes, possibly female- asked politely, "we need more information to plan an attack strategy on the Kanker home world. Should we implement Maneuver 1245919? It did not succeed last time, but the Kanker forces are still-"

Ed blinked. "Maneuver 124…? Like in that comic, where they summon the demon zombies of Alphoria-"

"You mean the demon zombies of Alphoria have not joined the Kanker's ranks?" Rolf gasped excitedly.

The Generals started talking at once, silenced only when Kevin sat. They saluted him, as was the proper greeting from one 10-star General to another (or to Ed). Kevin explained, "That maneuver will not work."

"Wait!" Ed whispered, turning to face King Johnny. "So now Kevin's a 10-star General _and _an ambassador?"

Kevin continued talking; the Generals decided it was best to ignore Ed's ignorant question, at least for the time being.

"Yes," Saraline answered for King Johnny. "He is the oldest of the Generals here."

She went on to point each of the generals out (with the occasional forgotten detail supplied by TargonTroi, Skuashi and Johnny), describing their life stories and explaining why Parallel Ed had promoted them to one of the ultimate spots in the military. The Generals were busy debating which move was best, and did not hear any of Saraline's narrative.

The timing was perfect; the second Saraline was done telling their stories, the Generals had reached a conclusion. Rolf volunteered to explain the plan. Although Rolf was easier to understand in this universe, he still had the slightest hint of his old accent. Ed decided just to smile politely, and ignored everything he had to say. He wondered if Sheldon Jr. was alright….

You know, it was odd without Eddy and Double D about. If they _were _there, Eddy would try to scam the Generals out of their intergalactic cash by selling a perfect plan to defeat the Kankers. And Double D would say blah-blah-blah-that-breaks-the-laws-of-physics-blah-blah-blah….

When Ed decided to start paying attention again, the group had changed in size and shape and had moved into an entirely different building. They were next to a gigantic, fancy, newly-shined military spaceship. However, they were not in the same spaceship landing zone as before; they were in a enormous military spaceship hangar, filled with at least 20 large (and well-armed) ships.

Ed recounted the members of his group. Apparently Rolf had decided to join them, but he was mad at Johnny. Kevin was still glaring warily at Ed, and TargonTroi and Saraline conversed about something important as they boarded the military ship. Skuashi stood next to him, apparently given the job of making sure Ed didn't wander off. Ed saw thousands of Space Rangers running onto the twenty other ships too, but grew bored of counting _them _really quickly.

"Hey, Skuashi," Ed suddenly said. "Why's Rolf mad at Johnny? And what are we doing?"

Skuashi almost sighed. "Ed, as General Rolf spent the last twenty minutes explaining, this group is heading straight to the planet Kanker for a direct attack. They were able to pick up a communication link suggesting that the Kankers were heading to their home world for some reason-possibly to get supplies. We're not a very large group, but the other Generals intend on sending more reinforcements once Earth and Plankstar's security is enforced."

Ed eyed Rolf and Johnny, who were immaturely sticking their tongues out at each other. It was almost funny to see a King and a 10-star General acting like… the kids from his cul-de-sac. (And, apparently, the less mature ones; he couldn't see Johnny _or_ Rolf doing that in his home universe. Well, maybe Johnny…) "So, why do Rolf and Johnny hate each other?"

"Um, Sir Ed, could you please call them King Johnny and General Rolf?" Skuashi asked kindly. "General Rolf isn't aware of the whole… universe-switching… event. And they don't hate each other. They just got into an argument. You see, King Johnny is _not_ a _topped_ ranked Space Rangers specializing in combat. He is a _highly_ ranked Space Ranger who is also royalty; he does _not_ specialize in combat. The only royalty typically allowed to go into combat is… well… er, your parallel. King Johnny was just barely able to convince General Rolf to let him go."

Ed was about to say something, but then Skuashi squeaked that they had to get onto the ship. So Ed skipped aboard the skip, much to Skuashi's dismay. Luckily, Rolf was not looking in their direction. Skipping was not proper Space Ranger conduct, unless you were a Metropium, in which case all you could do _was _skip around; walking was impossible for them.

The interior of the ship was much larger then Kevin's. However, there was no recreational part; the entire room seemed to be lined up with monitors. Ed sat at the monitor next to Skuashi, staring blankly at the nonsensical data that rolled through. Kevin sat next to Ed, eyeing him suspiciously.

"Hey, what do all these symbols and words mean?" Ed asked Skuashi.

Skuashi looked up at his monitor. "Er, it means the computer is turning on, Sir Ed."

"Oh," Ed said blankly. Because computers-turning-on was something that occurred in real life (and not in comics; computers were always on when you need them… in comics), Ed had no comment.

"We," Rolf announced, sitting at the central monitor, "are taking Route 200qz to the Kanker's home world."

The members of the ship, with the exception of Ed and General Rolf, paled considerably. Ed didn't notice this until they had left Nebulon's orbit; he did notice, though, that leaving planetary orbit was even _less _pleasant in Rolf's ship! The second thing Ed noticed was that TargonTroi's face had turned from dark green to a lighter green (the color of slime); moments later he noticed everyone else's paler faces too. Even Skuashi looked gray-and-white as opposed to black-and-white.

Before Ed could ask, Skuashi said, "Are you sure we should take that route? Groups that take this route have a strong tendency of, well, dieing painful deaths. I suggest taking Route 24z instead… it is far less dangerous."

General Rolf nodded in his direction, pressing a button on the screen. Suddenly, the numerous words were replaced with a clear view of their immediate starry surroundings. Ed excitedly began pressing buttons, too. Kevin told him to stop.

"Route 24z?" TargonTroi scoffed, slowly turning to a normal color. "That would take us a month! This route only takes one day. We don't have a month, Skuashi."

Ed ignored Kevin, and continued to randomly press buttons. He stopped when a bunch of pieces of buttered toast appeared on screen, hopping about. Suddenly, he was hungry; he hadn't eaten in a long time…. It hadn't been a day yet, but it must have been dinnertime at home….

"If only the teleporters were working," Saraline and King Johnny sighed in unison.

General Rolf, not turning away from the monitor, nodded. "That is a good idea, Transformer Saraline. Skuashi, start working on the teleporter; see if there is any way to put it back online."

Skuashi nodded, typing a command onto a control panel.

Kevin snarled at Ed, who was asking him- for the tenth time- if they had any buttered toast to eat. He pressed a button on Ed's monitor, changing the screen so that there was a view of the outside universe, again. Instantly, Ed forgot his hunger pains. "Hey, what's that planet? There are ships flying from it."

"That is the home world of the Trebles," Saraline said darkly. "Those _sedovs _are trouble enough when the Kanker Alliance isn't around. Undoubtedly, they've joined the New Kanker Alliance. That would explain why they've been smuggling more weaponry than usual, lately."

The ships flying from Treble, Ed noticed with amusement, were shaped like little musical notes. How many musical notes were there? "Twenty… Fifty… A thousandy?"

"Nonsense," General Rolf said with a shake of his head. "There are only six hundred ships in the Treble Armada." In a darker tone, he added, "But it appears all six hundred have come to greet us…."

Ed noticed other spaceships that did not look like musical notes. "What's up with the bright blue daggery ships?"

For the first time, General Rolf pulled away from the monitor, staring at Ed harshly. Perhaps there was no need to explain; Rolf might have already figured out that the Ed on their ship was not the Ed from their universe. "Those are Iceshes ships, Sir Ed. Remember? Iceshes of the moon Ion?"

Ed remembered something TargonTroi had said…

_The alien shuddered. "Trebles AND Iceshes in one mission…."_

… and came to the conclusion that the army in front of them was not a good thing. Ed counted about twenty Iceshes; however, being Ed, he figured that his 20 ships had a good chance against their total of 620. After all, the good guy always wins.

A familiar ping filled the room; someone was attempting to open a communication link between the two ships. General Rolf threw a hand signal at Saraline; she immediately accepted the link.

A Treble appeared on screen. Trebles are relatively tiny creatures, but this man appeared to be an exception; even sitting down in the Captain's Chair, one could tell he was at least six feet tall. His silvery skin and blood red eyes were typical for a Treble, though. He was bald (though one couldn't tell because he had a black hat on) and lacked a visible nose. Ed counted four arms on him; a few less then the average Treble, but nothing to worry about. (Trebles had 3-7 arms; most had 5.)

One didn't have to be a comic book genius to tell that this Treble was the leader of the entire armada of 620. Maybe it was the military outfit, adorned with many badges; maybe it was the determined glare in his eyes; maybe it was the fact that the Treble/Iceshe soldiers around him stood deathly still; maybe it was the fact that I just wrote he was sitting in the Captain's Chair; or… maybe it was because General Rolf said, "Ah, _Captain _Fasol. Causing trouble for the Space Rangers again, I see? Any reason you decided to bring the entire armada out today?"

Either way, it was obvious that Fasol was the captain.

"I," Captain Fasol said- or rather, sang- in a deep bass, "have received orders from the Kankers to destroy you weaklings. They couldn't be bothered."

"Really?" General Rolf asked, almost conversationally. "Despite the fact that we destroyed the old Kanker Alliance in less then a day?"

Captain Fasol smiled madly. "The New Kanker Alliance is stronger. Much, much stronger. Not even Ed has a chance against us."

"Not even Ed has a chance against us," the Trebles in the background repeated, also singing.

Ed didn't watch musicals very often, but he knew life on the planet Treble was probably just like a musical. Did they sing all the time? Ed turned around to ask Kevin that, but Kevin made a motion as if he was cutting his own throat. Ed remained silent.

"For we," Captain Fasol sang melodramatically, "have **the Anti-Crystal**! The EdCrystal is no match for its power!" Laughing evilly, he shut down the communication link.

Everyone started talking for once, except Ed, who was singing like a Treble.

"The Anti-Crystal? Is this what they were talking about?" King Johnny cried out.

General Rolf and TargonTroi said in unison, "They must be bluffing."

Ed had heard that argument before, and started to tune out. Staring at the monitor, he saw the Treble and Iceshe ships rearranging. Some neurons reconnected somewhere in his brain; _they're attacking us!_

But the others didn't seem to notice; they were too busy arguing about the existence of the Anti-Crystal. So Ed realized he needed to take matters into his own hands. First, he had to tell the 19 other Space Ranger ships to attack…. Ah, that button on the keyboard had a symbol that looked like a video camera. Ed clicked on it.

Information scrolled on the screen, informing him that he was connecting with the other 19 ships. Ed waited anxiously, ignoring the chaos around him; finally, another set of words flashed on screen; Now Connected with Ships 2, 3, 4….

Ed decided to get straight to the point. "The Trebles and Iceshes are attacking! Fire at will!"

Everyone else on the ship turned around, staring at Ed; Ed ignored this and pressed a button ending communication with the other ships.

"Right," TargonTroi said after a moment of silence. "At least Ed seems to be in his right mind. We should debate about this supposed Anti-Crystal later. Right now we need to get through this Armada."

General Rolf nodded. "To battle stations! Move Alta-Delta! Head towards the master ship!"

Everyone nodded, except for Ed, who did not know what move Alta-Delta was. He watched the other's movements for a bit; Rolf, who was steering the ship, swung smoothly through the ships of the armada, heading straight towards Captain Fasol's ship.

Kevin, Johnny, Targon-Troi and Saraline expertly shot at the ships, damaging (but not destroying) them. Skuashi worked quickly on the teleportation device on his SR-ComLink-WW, occasionally squeaking in frustration.

Suddenly, Kevin turned to Ed. "Are you just going to sit there or are you going to shoot? Jeesh! You're like a lump on a log, you dork."

Ed responded, "Aye aye, sir," and started shooting at a clef-note-shaped ship that was firing many laser beams at his fellow Space Ranger ships. His aim was perfect; the top of the ship started sparking, and it stopped shooting at anything.

At that point, Ed went into hyper-mode; he started destroying ships left and right. Rolf commented on this; "Wow. You've actually improved. I didn't think it was possible, Sir Ed."

And then Rolf was silent, the anticipation slowly building as they finally reached the largest ship of them all.

"Is that Fasol's ship?" Ed asked Kevin.

Kevin nodded, for once directing his glare at something other then Ed; he was glaring at the ship. It looked like a giant whole note- except for the large GSBOD in the dead center. The giant GSBOD started to light up.

"FIRE!" Rolf yelled.

Ed, Kevin, Saraline, Targon-Troi and Johnny fired at once. The enemy GSBOD fired.

Rolf saw this; Ed saw it coming in slow motion. The lighting in the room almost started to change- dramatically becoming darker- as Rolf pulled on the wheel, arm muscles straining to get the ship to move-

The two beams hit their targets-

_WEEE-OOHH. WEEEE-OOOOHHH. _Alarms went off; sudden bright red alarm lights (like the ones on top of a police cruiser) pulled out of the walls, adding even more to the dramatic lighting.

"Status report!" Rolf yelled.

Saraline cursed silently. "The left wing is severely damaged. We can still fly, but we cannot fly fast enough to get through these ships or to retreat without damage. The weapons system is offline."

"But-" TargonTroi said, "- on the brighter side, it looks like Captain Farsol's ship is severely damaged, too. If my estimates are not off, their weapon system is offline."

That was obvious- the giant GSBOD was actually floating _away_ from Fasol's ship. Ed watched, in wonder, as the other ships suddenly froze and stopped; apparently, they didn't know what to do. Both sides' leaders were damaged….

Then, for a second time, a familiar ping filled the air. General Rolf threw the same hand motion and Transformer Saraline opened up the communication link.

Captain Fasol smiled almost friendly at them, as if though they weren't in the middle of a battlefield. "It seems that both of our weapon systems are offline, General Rolf," he sung.

"Indeed," Rolf responded calmly. "And I suppose you have a proposition?"

"Yes," Captain Fasol sang dramatically.

The Treble-background-singers sang, "We challenge you to-"

"A hand-on-hand duel," Fasol completed, smirking.

Though Ed's allies did not let it show, they were surprised by the suggestion. After all, Captain Fasol could have easily sent one of the other 600 ships to attack Rolf's ship. He was at a clear advantage. So why would he risk it all on a hand-on-hand duel? (Of course, the Space Rangers were not dumb enough to point this out. Ed hadn't figured this out yet.)

"I accept your duel," General Rolf said, "on two conditions."

"And they would be?" Fasol sang/asked, the Treble-soldiers repeating his words dramatically.

"Each ship in your armada must turn off all weapon systems."

"Done and done," Captain Fasol smiled. As if on cue, the lights of the 600 enemy ships turned off. "Second condition?"

"The battle shall be held on our ship," General Rolf smiled, ignoring the alarmed glances he was getting from his fellow Space Rangers. (Why were they bringing the enemy onto their weakened ship?) "You may bring guards, but _they _may not carry any weapons."

"Agreed," Fasol sang. "We shall teleport there in five minutes."

The communication ended.

TargonTroi and Kevin twirled around, glaring at Rolf.

"Why did you invite them onto our ship?" Kevin growled.

"They are not known to honor agreements!" TargonTroi snapped. "They'll bring a hundred armed soldiers onto this ship and capture us, General!"

Rolf turned to Saraline. "Check on the other ships." Saraline nodded, and he turned to address his angered allies. "Have you fools forgotten that we have Sir Ed on our side, apparently in his best battle mode yet?"

Ed looked up at the sound of his name. Saraline distracted him; "Help me contact the other ships, Ed."

Kevin and TargonTroi could not argue with Rolf's logic. Ed was shooting even better then normal today. But if General Rolf had known that this Ed was not the real Ed, then he probably would have made another decision. They nodded at the General, unsure of what else they could say or do.

"Ship Starsquared," Saraline asked, "damage report."

"No damages to the ship, Ma'am," the captain said.

"Now you try, Ed," Saraline said. "The next ship is called Ship Cliched."

"Ship Cliched, ARE YOU OKAY?!" Ed yelled.

The bewildered captain responded, "Y-Yes. We're fine, Sir. Minor damage to the left wing- nothing more then a scratch, really."

And the two continued, the rest of the Space Rangers watching solemnly. To Ed's surprise, the ships Ventoroc89 and Ventoroc90 didn't respond. From his comics, he knew that the aliens from Ventoroc 89 were kindly brain-eaters, while the aliens from Ventoroc 90 were kindly blood-suckers.

"A moment of silence for the brave soldiers of the Ventoroc home-world," General Rolf said, "May their souls and their dinners' souls rest in peace."

How odd. Ed had expected a noble sacrifice to feel more… well, noble… and not as sad.

"We must prepare," General Rolf suddenly said.

Ed noticed that Kevin was carrying a Blaster around his shoulder. "May I borrow that cool thing around your shoulder, Kevin?"

"No way, dork-" But Ed, nonetheless, took the Blaster. Kevin simply grumbled; he knew that no one else would understand or approve if he strangled this fake.

Ed noticed that everyone was turning to the end of the ship opposite of Rolf. Ed, too, turned around and gasped in surprise when he saw the top of the ship opening up. A pod from Captain Fasol's ship floated above. Its bottom hatch opened, and a shiny metallic ladder (painted with multiple musical symbols) slid down. Captain Fasol, along with ten very short (and unarmed) Treble guards, slipped down.

Captain Fasol took in a deep breath, and sang (quietly), "Stupid teleporters. Why do they have to be broken?"

If Ed were any other person, he probably would have been sick of the singing by now.

"Are you ready to fight, Sir Ed?" Captain Fasol sang, sarcastically referring to Ed by his formal name.

Ed blinked. "Um-"

"No!" Kevin, TargonTroi, Johnny, Saraline and Squashi yelled.

General Rolf and Captain Fasol gave them an odd glance.

"I _demand _a duel with Ed," Captain Fasol snapped. "Who else? With General Rolf?"

"YES!" Kevin, TargonTroi, King Johnny, Saraline and Squashi said in unison.

The Treble's silvery skin slowly started to turn pink. Ed quickly realized that Captain Fasol was about to loose his temper, and switched into hero-mode.

"I accept your duel, Opera-Demon Fasol!" Ed yelled dramatically, waving his Blaster threateningly.

General Rolf was relieved; Ed was bound to win against this fool. (Why was Captain Fasol fighting against the creator of this universe? Was the supposedly existing Anti-Crystal really that powerful?) However, Kevin was utterly horrified. He knew the universe was about to be destroyed by this double-agent….

With a sigh, Transformer Saraline pressed a button. Ed did not even blink as the middle of the ship turned into a battle arena straight out of that weird anime about card collecting_._ The Treble Guards and Space Rangers immediately scooted off the arena, becoming the audience.

"Let's end this!" Ed challenged.

And so the battle began…


	23. Chapter 23: Ed

**Disclaimer:** Ed, Edd N Eddy and all its characters are copyright AKA Cartoon. I am not using them for profit; I am simply using them to practice my own writing skills….

**Author: **Sorry, I should have put this up earlier. I apologize for the random Sailor Moon references! I was being a "little" light-hearted in the first half of this chapter… Okay. Kevin breaks the fourth wall. I was being _very _light-hearted with the first half of the chapter. Hopefully the randomness fits with Ed's character…. ^.^

Chapter Twenty-two: In which Ed Finally Learns How to Use Magic Properly… Sorta (AKA: A Magical Chapter)

_"Let's end this!" Ed challenged._

_And so the battle began…_

...rather un-aggressively. With an all-knowing smile, Captain Fasol waved his hand in a circular motion, the Trebelian sign for 'you go first.' Though Ed did not know this, he went first anyway. Setting the Blaster to the highest level, he yelled dramatically, "TASTE JUSTICE, YOU EVIL-DOER!"

And he fired fifteen million trillion (or maybe ten) blasts, each hitting Captain Fasol right in the chest. Ed smirked as the mysterious dust cloud (Who knew? A Blaster ray produced dust clouds, too?) slowly faded. "Easy victory for Ed!"

"Not really," a familiar voice sang.

Ed gaped; the dust cloud was gone, only to reveal that Captain Fasol was completely unharmed! In fact, he had found the attacks so harmless and uninteresting, he was checking his fingernails for dirt.

"How did you survive?!" Ed gasped.

General Rolf watched, horrified. "Sir Ed! Have you lost your mind? Trebles are immune to Blasters!"

"And every other non-magical, handheld weapon," Captain Fasol gloated/sang. "Let me show you the power of a TRUE weapon, empowered by **the Anti-Crystal!**"

The Trebles added a dramatic 'dum-dum-dum.' Captain Fasol smiled, and produced what looked like a glowing green French horn. Ed stared curiously; what type of weapon was that? Was it a weapon that stole souls or that fired slimy acids at their enemy?

As Ed pondered, Captain Fasol played a simple melody- or, rather, a simply _horrible _melody. Ed fell to the ground, clutching his ears in pain. _An aural assault! It's even worse then in the movies!_

And, indeed, it was. It made the sound of fingernails-on-a-chalkboard equivalent to a beautiful Mozart melody. It made the tortured screaming of a teenager about to get his or her brains stolen by Ventorocians sound like an angelic choir. It made a typical person want to listen to car alarms, just to get the tune out of their head. It made everyone on the ship think up horrible metaphors just to _start_ to get the sound out of their heads.

"T-This is much worse then a typical Trebelian Audio Attack!" Skuashi squeaked in misery, though his eyes did not move from the SR-ComLink-WW. The sooner he fixed the teleporter, the sooner they'd have a chance to escape the horrible racket!

General Rolf, who was covering his ears, wondered, "Why isn't Ed doing anything? He should have eliminated this fool by now!"

Kevin couldn't take it anymore. Ed was clearly faking his reaction to the horrible Anti-Crystal-powered music! Any moment now and the fake would attack the distracted Space Rangers! "That's because Ed isn't-"

Throughout the commentary, though, Ed was remembering a weird Japanese comic his sister bought. Sarah bought and read the first book, then threw it into the closet, wondering out loud how Jimmy could stand reading such trashy and stupid books. Being Ed, he immediately grabbed the comic and read it himself. It was kind of boring and way too girly, so he found himself skipping to the battle scenes.

The main character- something Moon- was told she had magic. She started yelling random, weird-sounding phrases out and- Ta-Da!- was able to use extremely strong forms of magic. What had she said? Something power…

"Ed Power!" Ed yelled.

Everyone stopped to stare at Ed, including Captain Fasol. Fortunately, the movement caused him to stop producing the heinous melody. They stared in utter disbelief as a bright light filled the room.

Quickly, Ed's Space Ranger uniform was replaced with an identical outfit- except that he now wore a simple tiara upon his forehead. "Evil musician from the pit of Hades, you make musicians come back to life AS ZOMBIES! I'm going to stop the Zombie Rebellion- and the Kanker one, too! Oh, yeah. I almost forgot." –Every monologue the Moon character gave included a triumphant yelling of her name.-"My name is Ed! Prepare to face the zombie musicians you have so offended!"

"It should be easy to destroy a man that's completely lost his mind," Captain Fasol sang, trying not to let his nervousness show.

"Kevin," General Rolf whispered, now more confused then ever. "Why on Earth is Sir Ed imitating the Legendary Space Ranger Usagi Tsu-"

"I hate crossovers," Kevin rudely interrupted. General Rolf already knew this- he made it clear in previous meetings that he hated crossovers just as much as he hated the first Kanker Rebellion. But why on Earth was he bringing that up now?

Suddenly, Ed pulled the tiara off of his head.

"My goodness, you ARE going to do it, aren't you?" Captain Fasol laughed. "You are going to use the weakest magical attack in the _universe, _against me, a person whose magic is influenced by **the Anti-Crystal**?"

Ed dutifully ignored the man-who-thought-he-was-in-a-musical. "Ed Tiara Action!" The tiara shined brightly, and then flung itself at Captain Fasol, who had fallen upon his back, unable to stop laughing at the ridiculous phrase.

The glowing tiara was not a very interesting, eye-catching sight. The thousands of glowing Blaster rays had been far more intriguing to watch.

Above the laughing Treble, the tiara stopped mid-air. It suddenly turned vertically, facing the laughing Capitan. Then, it continued flying as if though it had never stopped; however, it was flying to the floor- or, more specifically, to Captain Fasol's neck. The laughing villain was quickly silenced as his head was cut off. He promptly turned into a pile of dust, and the room was surprisingly quiet (and saner) with the bass-laugh gone. The tiara flew back to Ed and faded away to some hyper-dimensional pocket (for the moment.)

"That is what you get for offending Mozart's zombie's clone!" Ed shouted.

The Treble guards stared in horror at their enemy.

Ed's mood quickly changed from victorious to friendly. "Hi! I am Ed! What is your name?"

The Trebles ran back to the ladder and climbed aboard their spaceship, screaming in falsettos.

"The weakest magical attack in the universe beat Captain Fasol!"

"Who the heck thought that offering hand-on-hand combat would fool the Space Rangers into surrendering?"

"I did!"

The Treble neighboring him punched him in the face. "Stupid! And why the heck did Captain Fasol challenge ED?!"

The Space Rangers stared in stunned silence, with the exception of Skuashi and Saraline, the later of whom stood looking over Skuashi's shoulder at the SR-ComLink-WW.

"That was the weirdest battle since the Gorglebot Battle of '86!" King Johnny declared.

General Rolf rolled his eyes rather uncharacteristically. "That battle was just a myth, Space Ranger."

"Hey! There's no need to be sarcastic," Johnny snapped.

He was ignored. Rolf turned around to face Ed. "What an amazing tactic! A Space Ranger Usa-"

"Crossovers!" Kevin warned.

"-A Space Ranger UT tactic, empowered by the Ed-Crystal," Rolf continued, only after glaring at Kevin for five seconds. "I would never have thought of using that maneuver myself."

"Only an idiot would have," Kevin muttered below his breath. King Johnny glared at him, but General Rolf (fortunately) did not hear him.

At some point in the conversation, TargonTroi had waltzed up to one of the monitors. "Wow! The entire Treble Armada has retreated!"

"Good thing the Treble Armada is one-hundred percent dependent on its leader, right, Kevin?" Johnny asked.

"_And_ it's a good thing that their leader was stupid," Kevin added. He turned around to glare at Ed, who was now sitting at a monitor and pressing random buttons. _Again. _

"Everyone!" Saraline cried out, gasping. Everyone, with the soul exception of Ed, obediently span around to face Saraline and Skuashi.

She continued: "Skuashi has found a way to turn the teleporters back on, but only temporarily-60 seconds, actually-"

"We can't use this method!" Skuashi interrupted, horrified.

General Rolf came over to see what the problem was. "This method uses Skuashi's magic!"

Wait. That didn't sound right to Ed. Didn't Skuashi say something like…

"_Er, um," Skuashi looked around the room- anywhere but Ed. "I, er…I don't have magic! That's it. I don't have magic."_

Had Skuashi lied to Ed? And, if so, why? Ed pouted.

"We need to use it," Saraline said. "Everyone here knows that his magic is unstable-"

"I don't!" Ed interrupted, but everyone chose to ignore him. (General Rolf did give him a concerned glance, though.)

"-but it is the only possible way that the teleporter will work at all in the next ten days!" Saraline continued.

"And the drawback…?" Johnny asked.

"Um, well… If all the ships don't get in," Saraline said, squinting at the SR-ComLink-WW, "in those 60 seconds, this entire sector of space will blow up…"

Silence filled the room. Everyone turned around to look at Ed, because they didn't want to make the decision. Even though most of them knew that this Ed was not as wise or calm or intelligent as their creator-Ed, it was an instinctive motion.

"We need to end the horrible Kanker's reign of horror!" Ed announced bravely, waving his arm as if it were a sword or a Blaster. "Turn the teleporter ON!"

Saraline sent a quick message to the 17 other Space Ranger ships. "Will it teleport them to their correct locations?"

"Yes," Skuashi explained, "if they can get through in time."

"Is everyone ready?" Saraline asked the other 17 ships.

"Yes!" the captains of each ship responded in unison.

TargonTroi, who was the best pilot of the group, sat at the main controls. He nodded to Saraline.

"Go!" Saraline yelled, and, at the same time, Skuashi pressed a button. A giant, swirling portal appeared outside the farthest Space Ranger ship.

"60 seconds," Johnny announced, looking nervously at the monitor (which he had set to essentially act as a timer.)

The ten Space Ranger ships nearest flew in as quickly as possible.

"50 seconds!"

Seven more ships flew in.

"45 seconds," Johnny said, sounding a bit more relieved. "Perhaps everything will be all right…"

"_Cratank!_" TargonTroi cursed in his native tongue.

"What's wrong?" General Rolf yelled.

TargonTroi yelled, "The engine isn't working! It was damaged in the attack!"

"30 seconds," Johnny said, all relief gone form his voice.

Suddenly, Rolf placed his hand on a nearby monitor and started glowing the familiar-white-sparkly-glow of magic. "I'm repairing the engine," he explained.

"How long will it take?" Ed said, for once asking an intelligent question. He was tempted to add something about gravy, but found himself avoiding this (again) for some reason.

"25 seconds!"

And ten horrible, tension filled seconds passed.

"We have 15 seconds left-" King Johnny began, biting his nails nervously.

_Vroooommmm!_

Everyone cheered. The engine was working! General Rolf pulled away.

TargonTroi turned the ship to the portal, which was, he calculated, about 15 seconds away at the current speed they were going. He tried to push those thoughts out of his mind; one couldn't race against the clock when worried about dieing….

"Ten seconds!"

The portal seemed to grow larger as they approached it at mind-numbing speeds.

"Five seconds!"

But the engines were not going fast enough; the ship was still at least 10 miles away.

"Four…"

5 miles…

"Three…"

TargonTroi cursed and pushed the ship as fast as it could go. The engines began to squeak, unable to take the horrible pressure.

"Two…"

They were a quarter of a mile away, max. Was it close enough, though?

"ONE!"


	24. Chapter 24: Ed

**Disclaimer:** Ed, Edd N Eddy and all its characters are copyright AKA Cartoon. I am not using them for profit; I am simply using them to practice my own writing skills….

**Author:** Sorry this took so long! The next chapter is twice as long, but I'm halfway finished with it, so hopefully it will be up soon!

Chapter Twenty-four: The Home of the Kankers

_A quarter of a mile, max. Was it enough, though?_

_"ONE!" _

Ed closed his eyes. When he opened them, he looked at the monitor and saw that they were in a different part of space. There were now only ten ships, including General Rolf's; the other seven must have gone to Earth and Plankstar.

Certainly, that planet in front of them was the Kanker home world. Ed shuddered as he looked at the planet. It was almost as terrifying and gloomy as the Kankers themselves. Ed noticed that the planet vaguely resembled _Deatho, _the evil, undead planet from _Doomplanet 23, _the best of the sequels in the _Doomplanet _series. What other parallels to _Deatho _did the Kanker home world contain?

Suddenly, Ed found himself wishing he wasn't on a mission. It would be fun just to search the planet. But good comics avoid switching genres too much in the middle of the story, and going from Heroic Adventure to Survival-Horror wasn't any good. Sequels to comics could switch genres all they wanted though. Using this odd logic, Ed came to the conclusion that if he defeated the Kankers, the Heroic Adventure would be over and so would the "first comic." Then he'd get to explore the Kanker home world in a Survival-Horror-ey fashion.

"We must defeat the evil alien Kankers!" Ed declared. Skuashi and Targon-Troi glared at him for his offensive word choice.

"There _should _be a Kankerian Armada around here," Kevin muttered, glaring at Ed for a completely different reason then the two aliens.

Saraline nodded in agreement. "That would make sense. They _must_ know we are coming! Sending out their Armada is the logical choice…"

Ed looked out of all the windows. No evil Armada to the right. No evil Armada to the left. He looked over at the computer screen. He couldn't read the program on it, but it wasn't making loud annoying noises, which probably meant it wasn't detecting anything dangerous and Armada-ey.

"Very suspicious," Kevin added after a second.

"Nevertheless," General Rolf muttered, "we must move on." He pressed a button on the computer, opening up a communication line to the other ten Space Ranger ships. "Everyone, prepare your suits for battle and prepare to land!"

Ten affirmative yeses came from the other ships. General Rolf nodded and began pressing buttons. Everyone sat down nervously. The uncomfortable landing seemed to go by in the blink of an eye. Then, way too soon, they were on the surface of the Kanker home world.

King Johnny, at General Rolf's signal, opened the door and began to step outside. Ed peaked out, watching, wide-eyed, as thousands of warriors poured out of the other ships.

"Wait-" Squashi squeaked, looking up from one of the monitors. Johnny pulled back, getting into the ship just in time. A bright light- red in color- surrounded and rushed by the ten ships. Ed watched, wide-eyed and horrified, as (in slow motion) the thousands of Space Rangers that had stepped onto the evil planet were vaporized. The screams of many filled his ears, and he helplessly watched as their bodies slowly crumbled to dust.

The red light faded quickly, but not quick enough for Ed to do anything to help them.

"Sir Ed, are you alright?" King Johnny asked.

Saraline and Skuashi started blabbering, something about the name of the weapon that had caused the red explosion, and how it only damaged life and not weaponry, and how it was absolutely, positively impossible for them to have another copy of the weapon. But Ed didn't care; he hardly heard what they had to say. _I want to go home. _

He didn't want to be in this comic-book. _I want to go home. _He didn't want to be on this _Deatho-_esque planet. _I wanna go home! _Sarah wasn't dead in his universe. _I wanna go home now! _The Kankers in his universe were not murderous monsters. _Iwannagohome _Forget bravery, he wasn't a Space Ranger that had created a universe! He was just a normal boy. And this thing was way too scary for a normal boy to handle. _IneedtogetFay _The proper thing to do would be to return to his home universe and send the real Space Ranger, Creator-of-a-Universe Ed back. He wasn't going to do this. He'd rather face his universes's Kevin's attacks, Sarah's "I'm-telling-moms", and even the Kanker's kisses. Anything would be better then-

"Move out!" General Rolf commanded.

Before Ed could protest, Targon-Troi and Kevin were pushing him onto the field. There, the surviving Space Rangers- still a good couple thousand- were waiting for Ed, or General Rolf's, instructions.

General Rolf, as expected, began yelling the instructions. Saraline noticed that Ed, who seemed angry before, seemed to have calmed down. Before she could ask, Ed tugged on her arm. "Who is that girl? She looks just like Nazz!"

Saraline looked into the crowd of Space Rangers. She noticed who Ed was pointing at- a rather pretty girl that seemed to radiate, despite the deadly environment. "That is Ambassador Nazz," Saraline explained. "She represents the peace-loving planet Makeupia. Despite coming from such a peaceful planet, she is one of the top-ranked Space Rangers. Does she exist in your universe?"

Ed nodded, blushing. Saraline almost groaned- it was almost as if he were a teenage boy, hormonally distracted by a crush. Then she remembered that he was, in fact, school-aged in his home universe. He probably _was_ a hormonally-distracted teenage boy. Sighing, she went on: "She's a descendant of one of the Legendary Starters."

"The Legendary who?" Ed asked blankly. Then, "Gravy?"

Saraline checked. They still had time- Rolf was still explaining their attack maneuvers. Saraline was certain she already knew his strategy, and Ed was a good improviser, so… "Ed created this universe from another dieing universe. He brought a number of people- like his sister, Sarah- along with him into this new universe. Most of them have died of old age, and their lineages are gone. Nazz is the only known descendent of a Legendary Starter. She-"

Suddenly, a rumbled filled the air. Ed turned around sharply. The reddish-brown clouds in the dark gray sky seemed to multiply. The ground- dried, black lava- reflected the ominous clouds, casting a red glow upon the Space Rangers. Even the dead ebony frames of the trees in the distance seemed to glow red.

An army of millions was marching towards the Space Rangers. Their laughter and leering shook the ground. Millions of demons, the type that only should have existed in a person's worst nightmares, emerged from the jagged, volcano-filled horizon line- Iceshes, Trebles, Hunteriors, even Metalmen…

Nazz walked up to Ed, along with General Rolf and Kevin. "I think we'll need a new plan of attack, Sir Ed, General Rolf," Ambassador Nazz said with a light smile.

General Rolf nodded towards Ed.

"Um, General Rolf, I think _you_ ought to make these plans-" Ambassador Kevin began.

Ed interrupted, speaking in a loud voice. He was furious now. The Kanker army had murdered thousands of his warriors in a cowardly blast of red light. Forget contacting Fay, forget heading home- he needed to avenge the thousands that had fallen under _his _'watchful' eye. "PREPARE ALL YOUR WEAPONS AND YOUR MAGIC- AND CHARGE!"

Kevin's eyes widened in shock; all the other Space Rangers nodded obediently, preparing their weapons and their magic. "Are you insane?" Kevin cried. "You're trying to kill us all, aren't you, Ed?"

"Kevin…" Ed said darkly. "These Kankerians just killed thousands of our warriors in a single blast. Do you have a better plan?"

"No," Kevin grumbled, stepping away. He prepared his magic.

Then the moment descended, the moment Ed had seen and skimmed over in many comics: the panel right before the battle began. The sneering monsters, still many football fields away, seemed to run in slow motion toward them. Every rock on the ground, every cloud in the unearthly red sky, every gleaming metallic weapon stood out in sharp clarity. The magic- sparkling, bright and multi-colored- hovered around the Space Rangers. Ed was distantly aware that Saraline had handed him a Blaster.

He noticed a smaller Iceshe, ahead of the rest, with a particularly nasty expression. That Iceshe, being the cold-hearted being he was, probably enjoyed seeing the red light kill thousands.

Ed fired the shot, and the Iceshe was no longer. The battle had begun. Thousands of Space Rangers charged at the demonic army, and the sharp clarity was gone. Everything seemed to go unnaturally fast as the Rangers ran, chaotically, somehow knowing where Ed was planning on going….

Out of the corner of his eye, Ed saw a group of Metalmen aiming metallic razor disks at Johnny. Johnny ducked three, four, seven, ten- then Ed lost track of how many. The green magic encircling him turned into a thorny vine, surrounding the twenty Metalmen and trapping their arms, rendering them unable to throw the deadly disks. Before they had a chance to shoot lasers out of their eyes and melt the plants, a group of Space Rangers rushed in and shot their magic at the ground, causing lava to fly up and melt the metallic humanoids.

A Treble held up a microphone, but Ed was prepared. He turned around sharply and shot the microphone, melting it out of existence. Another shot and the Treble was gone, singing a note of sharp surprise.

Ugly Spgobons flew at Kevin, cursing his name and mocking his noble mission. Before they could prepare an attack, Kevin had summoned a tidal wave out of nowhere. The force of the wave's crash was so strong, nothing remained of the Spgobons. Noting this, most of the Kankerian army avoided him. However, Kevin enjoyed the sport of having to hunt them down.

To his left- a blast of dark light almost hit Targon Troi. Ed spun around and summoned the tiara attack, wiping the monster out before he could identify the species.

The volcanoes were now much larger, much closer. Ed could not see General Rolf, but knew instinctively that he was at the front of the troops, destroying everything in his path.

From the right, a familiar lyrical voice: "Hey, Sir Ed, why are you using a Blaster?"

Ed turned around, blushing furiously. "Umm… Nazz… Buttered toast?"

"Huh? What?" Nazz laughed. She ducked as a flying bat-like creature whizzed overhead, and began running faster. "It would be nice if we had ol' General Buttered Toast here to fight with us! We promised we wouldn't resurrect him, though-" Then her cool demeanor dropped. Ed immediately knew that something was behind him- and, judging by the sudden rise in temperature, it was a person with a good control of the lava in the ground.

A pink light surround Nazz, and she held up a hot pink, heart-shaped blaster. "Look out, dude!" A gigantic pink heart, infused by magic, escaped the blaster, followed by a trail of translucent flowers. The gigantic pink heart went in a straight line, killing all the demons within 30 meters but leaving the Space Rangers unharmed. The flowers grabbed a hold of various flying nightmares and causing them to implode seconds later, filling the sky with fireworks shaped like peace signs.

Ed's jaw dropped. That was the most impressive bit of magic he'd seen from a Space Ranger so far.

"Be careful, okay, dude?" Nazz said. She noticed something. "Wait… is Skaushi…?"

Ed turned around, still running. Skuashi was holding a broken blaster, and four golden spheres of light floated above his head. Dropping the blaster, he reluctantly clapped his flippers together. The golden lights flung away from his head, in opposite directions, and exploded.

The explosions replaced Nazz's short-lived record of most impressive attack: each of Skuashi's golden spheres eliminated all the monsters within 70 meters. They traveled a good thirty seconds before running into another wave of monsters.

Who would have guessed that Skuashi was so strong? Ed suddenly remembered how Skuashi's magic was strong enough to teleport 18 ships across the universe.

"Stop, Skuashi!" Saraline yelled from somewhere behind.

"Don't do it, man!" Nazz yelped in fear.

Skuashi muttered something about instability… tiredness… Kevin and TargonTroi rushed to defend the now powerless Pengua.

The ground trembled beneath them, softly but unexpectedly. Everyone jumped, but reluctantly resumed running. "Skuashi, I think you just killed us all!" Nazz yelled.

"Why?" Ed asked blankly.

"He can't use his magic, it's too powerful and too unstable! It destroys the fabric of time and space, yaknow," Nazz said. She ducked as a Hunterior threw an entangling net at her. Ed fired his Blaster twice in quick succession: one destroying the net and one destroying the Hunterior. Nazz stood up and continued her explanation: "That magic is probably making the world's core crumble or something!"

_Oh, right,_ Ed thought. Again the concept that Skuashi could teleport 18 ships across the universe returned to mind, but in particular an aspect that had been bugging Ed subconsciously: If they hadn't made it through that portal, that entire quadrant of space would have blown up… _Yup, that's very unstable._

Luckily, the rumbling stopped. Everyone- even the monsters- seemed to sigh in relief for a quick second. Then the fighting resumed, faster then ever. They were now passing through two dormant volcanoes. The space between the two was very small: only the size of a football field, and when thousands are battling that is not enough space. Ed went into monster-shooting overdrive mode, yet all his allies seemed to give him odd stares the seconds between battles…

"Ed, why aren't you using your magic?" Nazz asked with a pained expression, watching as a Space Ranger fell to the floor, frozen by an Iceshe spell.

"Umm-Umm… Why aren't you using _your_ super cool spells? They're fluffy like chickens but dangerous like the monsters from the original Evil Cave movie!"

Nazz stared blankly, ducked an attack, and continued to stare blankly as she stood up again. "You know that spell takes a lot of energy, Ed. It takes me at least a half an hour to refuel my magic." Something was wrong with Ed…

They heard a scream from a group of Space Rangers very close to the edge of the right volcano. The volcano was_ definitely_ dormant: there was a cave in the side of it, and dozens of monsters were pouring out of it. A surprise attack! "Oh no," Nazz yelped.

Ed rushed to the volcano, blaster blazing…

…Saraline, being the type that could both attack and analyze in detail at the same time, was at the left volcano. Out of the corner of her eye, she noticed Ed rescuing the Space Rangers trapped by the dozen monsters. No other monsters emerged from the cave- it was a small surprise attack. When she turned back again, she thought she saw a familiar patch of red hair… "It couldn't be…"

"Watch out!"

Saraline turned around and, fast as lightening, and sent a magical beam at the Treble. The coincidental red hair was forgotten. She didn't notice Ed for the rest of the battle, but that boy had good luck… he was bound to be fine.

… "Spgobons don't have the ability to produce magical binds!" Ed protested. He was inside the cave, hands bonded to his back and his legs bonded together by a mystical purple glow. A small group of Spgobons carried him on his back, marching down long staircases deeper and deeper into the cave. "That never happened in any of the comics! Not even in the radio show!"

One of the Spgobons growled, "Shut up. You're making no sense."

"And Spgobons are afraid of fire!" Ed gasped, eyes widening as he noted the burning torches connected to the wall, acting as light.

"We do. Our leader doesn't. Shut up," the same Spgobon growled.

"Oh yeah, I gotta escape! I'll just summon my tiara thingie!" Ed said delightedly. The Spgobons darted looks at each other. _This_ man had created their universe?! A tiara appeared above Ed's head, floating in midair. With a sigh, the leading Spgobon stepped away from the group, flew up, and grabbed it. He broke it in two.

"Hey, that's not fair! Sarah would tell mom if I did that to her!"

The lead Spgobon started growling at him in his native tongue. The words sounded much cruder then "Shut up."

_I gotta concentrate… Orange juice… I'll summon an orange juice bottle weapon! It will turn my enemies into oranges and squeeze the juices out of them, just like in Attack of the Radiation Kitchen 2! _Ed focused all his energy on summoning an orange juice bottle weapon.

It didn't work.

He remembered that it was easier to summon already existing weapons then nonexistent ones. How upsetting- an orange juice bottle weapon didn't exist. He focused on summoning his trusty old Blaster, but that didn't work either.

The Spgobons reached the end of the staircase. They threw him off of their backs and onto the floor, muttering in annoyance, and promptly flew back up the stairs.

Ed landed on his head, and then fell onto his front. "Hello, dirt…" Ed said cheerfully. He used to be a woodpecker, except with dirt. Maybe he could sprout magical wings and fly…

"Get up," a cold voice filled the room. A cold, evil voice. A very familiar voice.

The magical bonds disappeared from Ed's body, and he stood up. He smiled blankly, analyzing the room. Pretty nice for a cave. The room, itself, was circular. It had a fireplace (filled with lava- really a lavaplace), a nice shag rug right in the middle of the room, comfortable chairs, and various shining weapons of combat and torture hanging from the wall. Two people stood on the shag rug, and when Ed recognized them, he grinned. "Sarah! Jimmy! You're alive, alive like Sheldon Junior!"

Then his smile faltered. The two were smiling and wearing military uniforms…. Their smiles were pure evil, and they wore the Kanker uniform. Ed blinked. "S-Sarah?"


	25. Chapter 25: Ed

**Disclaimer:** Ed, Edd N Eddy and all its characters are copyright AKA Cartoon. I am not using them for profit; I am simply using them to practice my own writing skills….

**Author: **We're nearing the end! Chapter 25 and 26 were originally one chapter. I split it up for dramatic purposes. After Chapter 26, there will only be one battle left in the Ed arc…

Chapter Twenty-five: The Lost Ones, Part 1

She was slightly older, a young teenager- but she was definitely Sarah. She looked very similar to the Sarah from his universe. Jimmy, however, was a ridiculously buff young teenager: his muscles bulged like a professional weightlifter's. He also lacked his characteristic dental wear. He looked… well… as threatening as a person like Jimmy could possibly look.

"That was pathetic," Jimmy said with a grin. "You actually let someone sneak up on you from behind."

"Not a surprise though," Sarah said stoically. "Because you are not my brother. You're an imposter."

Ed panicked. "How do you know that?! Are you brain vampires?!"

The teenage girl rolled her eyes. "I'm older then this entire universe. I can tell the difference between my brother and an imposter." Then her eyes returned to a more serious expression, narrowing darkly. "You share a body with my brother, but you do not come from this universe."

"If you were the real Ed, you wouldn't have been using a Blaster in a war scene," Jimmy said, flexing his arm. A Blaster magically appeared, and he crushed it between the palms of his hands. Ed gulped nervously. "You would have been using the EdCrystal."

"I can't use the EdCrystal… so I guess you'll let me go?" Ed said. Subconsciously, he realized that because he was wearing the EdCrystal on his suit, they could have snatched it away from him. And he couldn't stop them- after all, he wasn't the 'real' Ed. And it would be really, really bad if they took the crystal… far worse then when Sarah told his mother when he did something wrong _that_ onetime…

"Sure you can," Sarah and Jimmy said in unison.

"You are an Ed from a parallel universe," Sarah said calmly. "Your souls are built from the same mold. In your home universe, your only magical power was intense stupidity. After all, your home universe is made completely of matter- no anti-matter or magic-matter." Jimmy shook his head in haughty disbelief. "In this universe, you can use the EdCrystal to its fullest extent. All you lack is the knowledge." She quickly looked up and down at Ed. "And the ability to attain this knowledge."

"How do you know all this? Are you a psychic, like in-"

"If you make another comic book reference, your head will look like that Blaster," Jimmy growled, pointing at the crushed weapon on the floor.

Ed silenced.

"I put a Magical Eye spell on my brother's soul…" Sarah counted her fingers, absentmindedly- "…about four centuries ago. When my brother's soul crossed dimensions, I saw everything that he did and learned everything he learned in his universe." She paused. "Your universe sucks, by the way. Anyway… Give me the EdCrystal."

"Why do you want it?" Ed asked, trying very hard to avoid making a comic book reference. After all, he had read the entire _Magical Eye_ series- all 300 comics… Instead, he posed boldly. "And why are you wearing the evil cursed uniform of the Kanker Alliance?! And how're you alive?! Everyone says you're dead!"

"Are you still in a talking mood, ma'am?" Jimmy asked Sarah politely.

Sarah nodded briskly. "He's so stupid, I_ have_ to tell him. He can't figure it out on his own." She turned around, eyeing the wall of weapons. "I'm certain they have told you about the first Kankerian war." She smiled whimsically. "Ah, good old Squashi-the-unstable… TargonTroi, that crazy old alien… stupid old Transformer Saraline…"

Weird. Ed couldn't figure out if the words were meant to be kind or hateful.

Returning to the conversation, she turned back to Ed. "Those three idiots must have told you that the Kankers kidnapped and killed Jimmy and I."

Ed nodded. Out of the corner of his eye, he noticed a mist filling the room. He was feeling ever-so-slightly dizzy.

"Well," Sarah said, a crueler smile crossing her face. "They captured us, all right. But they didn't kill us. They knocked us out, and when we awoke on their home world, they taught us the truth."

Jimmy nodded in agreement. Ed blinked. "The truth? That a spider is more likely to make you a mutant then-" Jimmy shot him a glance and he silenced.

"That the Space Rangers are corrupt, and my brother Ed is evil." Sarah smirked. "That's how I'm still alive. Why I'm wearing this grand uniform, as opposed to your stupid one? Why I want to EdCrystal? I'm working with the Kankers, of course. I'm just going to take that crystal and eradicate the universe of Ed's dictatorship."

Jimmy nodded. "Hey, wait a minute, Sarah…"

"I know what you're thinking, Jimmy." Sarah smirked. Jimmy smirked a familiar smirk… They had planned this dialogue, Ed realized. And now they were swaying back and forth, in that oddly comforting mist. Or was he the one swaying back and forth in the gentle breeze? "I can use the EdCrystal… But just barely." She stepped closer to Ed, who instinctively stepped- or rather, stumbled- back. "You may be an idiot, but you can use it to its full power. You may share a soul-mold with my evil brother, but you are free from his sins."

"You," Jimmy piped up, "can join the right side. You can help us destroy those evil Space Rangers. You can destroy those that have hunted the Kanker species to near extinction!"

"Certainly, you realize that a group that hunts a species to near extinction is truly the evil one, right?" Sarah said darkly.

It made sense. Why, if he was working for the good side, would they have… Ed reluctantly nodded. He was vaguely aware that the dark, breezy mist was now practically filling the entire cave. It looked familiar.

Sarah and Jimmy stuck their right hands out. "Join us then," Sarah declared. "Join us and help us wipe out the Space Ranger tyranny."

How could he deny them? His body stepped forward on its own. The Space Rangers had, most likely, killed thousands of species. That was evil, eviler then any scary monster…

Ed's hand froze above Sarah's.

"Well?" Sarah asked impatiently.

The mist in the room. He'd seen it before. In that old film… _Brainwashers 2_? "Brainwashing magic?" Ed asked blankly.

Jimmy growled, and his response came a little too quickly: "Of course not. That's a Space Rangerian tactic!"

Ed remembered, then. That red light. The red light that had wiped out thousands of Space Rangers... He imagined Squashi, Saraline and TargonTroi in their place. And suddenly they were replaced by Double D and Eddy… Being blown to dust in front of his eyes… by the Kankers…

Ed slapped Sarah's hand down. "I'll never join the Kankers! I won't let myself be brainwashed like you were!"

Sarah eyed her slapped hand resentfully. Then she sighed nonchalantly. "Oh well…." Lifting the slapped hand up, she snapped her fingers.

The dark mist suddenly became solid rope, wrapping around Ed. The Space Ranger struggled, but it was useless- the rope was a magical rope, and it was hard enough to escape from_ regular_ rope.

"Jimmy?" Sarah asked expectantly.

"Yes, ma'am," Jimmy said politely. He waved his hand, and a rapier appeared in it. "Prepare to die, Ed." And he charged at Ed.

Ed jumped backwards, falling on his back. He noticed a slight light, and remembered that the Spgobans had left the exit open. If he could crawl up the stairs- like a worm- and get to the entrance of the cave, perhaps the other Space Rangers would notice him. He began crawling in a worm-like fashion.

Jimmy sighed. "Predictable." He stepped over the Ed-boy and touched the wall to the right of the staircase, hand glowing. A rock wall appeared, sealing off the staircase- and Ed's only chance of escape.

"You know, Ed, I usually do not kill inexperienced warriors who have yet to master even a simple magical spell. It goes against my set of morals, and it's far too easy. But as long as you refuse to give us the cryst-"

Ed cut off Jimmy's lamenting monologue. "I can't believe that Operation: Worm Escape failed me! It worked in Brainwashed 2, and even in ManSpider 5!" Ed yelled. Then he gasped for joy. "I know! I'll do Operation: Butterfly Escape!"

Jimmy's sorrowful expression was quickly replaced by an infuriated one. "I told you not to make any more comic book references," he shouted. He held his sword up, standing above Ed's head. "You're a MORON! You should have joined us! But instead you had to be a stubborn villain! I hope you're prepared to die. I will cut you in two!"

And, with that, he swung the sword. Ed closed his eyes, bracing himself.

The sword struck the magical rope… and the EdCrystal began to shine, lightly. The sword was repelled- and only after cutting through the rope. Ed jumped up triumphantly. "Like a caterpillar, I have escaped from my cocoon!"

"_You've _escaped?" Sarah laughed from the sidelines. "You moron, he set you free!"

"Huh?"

Jimmy smirked. "As I said, I have a moral code. And I like to look Space Rangers in the eye as I kill them."

"Only a Vragavo would say that!" Ed yelled. The EdCrystal again shined, and a magical rapier appeared in his hands. "Hey… Why didn't my summoning spells work before? Is there a Magic-Time-Space Paradoxal Shield-"

He was cut off by Sarah and Jimmy's laughter. "A-A-Are you challenging me," Jimmy laughed gleefully, "to a SWORD fight?"

"Umm…" Hm. A sword fight sounded fun. And it was exactly what the hero of a story would do at this point, so… "Yes!"

Sarah and Jimmy laughed more.

Ed stared.

"You have no chance!" Sarah said between laughs. "Jimmy is the best swordsman in the universe! Not even the _real_ Ed could beat his swordsmanship!"

"Oh," Ed said. He almost dropped the sword and ran off, but then remembered how they had almost tricked him with that magical brainwashing mist. This could have been a lie, too. "Well then, I'll beat you!"

Jimmy stopped laughing, though a nonchalant smile remained on his face. "Well, if you want to die the hard way… Fine by me. Here, take the first swing – I dare you to."

Ed did. He swung right at Jimmy's head.

But Jimmy was gone. Before Ed had a chance to even register the fact, Jimmy was behind him. He swung his rapier elegantly, slicing Ed's back. Ed screamed and fell forward. This pain was far worse then any he'd felt in his life!

Sarah burst into laughter, pointing at Ed's wound. "Still want to fight?" Jimmy asked, now sounding bored.

"I'll never loose to a Kanker warrior!" Ed said valiantly, struggling to get up.

In the half a second it took Ed to get off his back and onto his knees, Jimmy had sliced both of his arms and both of his legs. By the time he was on his feet, each finger on his left hand had been sliced.

"Hey, Sarah, you sent me that funny video, right?" Jimmy asked absentmindedly, turning away from Ed. Ed swung his rapier; Jimmy blocked it, and sent it scattering across the room. The boy rushed over to grab the sword, while Jimmy turned on his ComLink-style watch.

"Yes," Sarah said, her grin widening as Ed picked up the sword, dropped it, and picked it up again.

"Thanks," Jimmy said. He turned the SR-ComLink-WW to a certain setting, and a video began playing. "Hey, this _is_ pretty funny!"

Ed, now certain he had a firm grip upon his rapier, rushed up on Jimmy from behind, shouting triumphantly.

Without even looking up, Jimmy swung his sword. It hit Ed in the stomach. "Wanna give up?" Jimmy offered.

"Don't tell him to stop, this is hilarious!" Sarah laughed.

"If you say so, ma'am."

Ed swung his sword rapidly in quick succession, 5, 10, 15 times- but Jimmy blocked each of them, occasionally hitting him.

Sarah laughed. "You're pathetic!"

"I know the next one will hit. The good guy always wins!" Ed yelled.

"We are the good guys," Jimmy countered, not even looking up. He noted as Ed swung the sword towards his leg, and aimed his rapier down to block it. He expected to hear a _chink_…

…No _chink_. What was going on? Jimmy looked up from the video to see a blade heading towards his face. He blinked as the tip of the sword scratched his cheek.

Jimmy's mouth dropped open in shock, and Sarah's laughter abruptly stopped. Slowly, he reached his hand to his face… "Blood?"

"See," Ed panted, exhausted. "I hit you! The good guys always win! I got you!"

"Im… Impossible," Jimmy gasped. Tears filled his eyes. "I-I'm the best swordsman in the universe! No one has ever beaten me!" He promptly started wailing.

Ed smiled triumphantly. Then he turned to demand that Sarah let him go.

But the expression on Sarah's face made his blood run cold.


	26. Chapter 26: Ed

**Disclaimer:** Ed, Edd N Eddy and all its characters are copyright AKA Cartoon. I am not using them for profit; I am simply using them to practice my own writing skills….

**Author: **Woo! Will Ed survive these two?! Or is this his final battle? I think my author's comments from last time gave it away, but, er…

Chapter Twenty-six: The Lost Ones, Part 2

_Ed smiled triumphantly. Then he turned to demand that Sarah let him go._

_But the expression on Sarah's face made his blood run cold._

"_HOW DARE YOU HURT JIMMY?!"_ Sarah screamed with such ferocity, the room shook. Ed's blood no longer ran cold; it froze. Another mist filled the room, swirling around his head towards Sarah like a tornado. Screaming still, Sarah stomped on the floor and the black mist swirled together in front of her, becoming a thicker and thicker tornado until Ed could not see even inches in front of him. Ed gaped; the weapons clattered against the wall.

Then, rapidly as the tornado appeared, it took on a solid form: a large black gem. The sight of it was more horrifying then the tornado, or even the horrible red light: it seemed to steal the light, the energy, the very air from the room.

The crystal upon Ed's own chest-plate started glowing, counteracting the black gem's light-absorption. Then Sarah screamed louder, and the EdCrystal turned a vibrant shade of red. Ed doubled over in pain, screaming. It was the most painful thing he had experienced in his life. He couldn't even think of a heroic thing to say.

"_THIS IS THE ANTI-CRYSTAL," _Sarah screamed, holding the black gem above her head. It began to float menacingly. "AND IT IS THE ONLY THING STRONGER THEN YOUR STUPID EDCRYSTAL!"

The pain was bound to tear Ed apart.

The crystal started moving towards Ed, causing the impossible pain to increase. Sarah screamed, louder: "YOU SAID YOUR PRAYERS WHEN YOU HURT JIMMY! PREPARE TO DIE-"

"Sarah."

Jimmy's voice was unexpectedly calm. Sarah turned around, shocked by its calmness. Ed, if he could have, would have looked up with a similar expression. "Jimmy?"

"Stop it," Jimmy said calmly. The stunned girl simply nodded, and the Anti-Crystal dropped into her hands. It seemed to turn into a regular stone- at least, the room felt less like it was going to be destroyed molecule by molecule. Ed's own crystal abruptly stopped glowing, and with it, the pain disappeared. He silently stood up, almost prepared to thank Jimmy. However, when he looked up he saw that Jimmy's face was redder then his cut.

Jimmy marched up to Ed. "So, you're good with a sword? I guess I'll put some effort into this game then." And, with that simple warning, he swung. The hit, in an almost comedic manner, flung Ed across the room. His movement was stopped, though, when he hit something…

…The wall. It was the wall that Jimmy had created, blocking his exit. Something vaguely resembling a plan filled Ed's head as he stood up. Jimmy swung again, and Ed ducked, or rather, collapsed. He was in the worst condition in his life. …But at least, it seemed, his plan would work. The second Jimmy's tiny little sword hit the rock wall, it filled with cracks.

Ed jumped away. "If you evil Kankers have your icky glowy pain crystal, why do you need mine?!"

Foreseeing Ed's plan of action, Jimmy managed to corner him on the opposite side of the room from the exit. Ed's attention span was short, but anyone would have agreed: the Jimmy of the universe was quick. This stinked. In his home world, SARAH ran after him with (toy) swords, not Jimmy; and she wasn't nearly as fast and the sword didn't leave nearly as many wounds.

But he couldn't be defeated by these two. Dorothy went home after defeating the Wicked Witch of the West; Ed was certain that he had to defeat the Kankers if he ever wanted to see the real Jimmy and Sarah again. However, he realized their was a chance he might not beat the Kankers; at the moment, Jimmy was holding a sword against his neck. "Too easy," Jimmy muttered disdainfully. "I can't believe _you_ actually hit me."

"Why do you want this crystal?!" Ed repeated.

Sarah nodded, and even though Jimmy was facing the opposite way, he nodded back. He then let his sword down… just a little bit. Enough for Ed to know that he wasn't going to kill him yet. "The person," Sarah explained, in a tone implying that the only reason she was saying anything to Ed was out of boredom, "that holds the EdCrystal is the ruler of the universe. This is a fact, just as gravity is a fact. Besides that, if my leaders have both the crystals, they will be unstoppable. They will be the strongest force not only in _this _universe, but in _any _universe."

"Any universe?" Jimmy asked. "Oh… Is that the Kanker's top secret plan?"

"It is," Sarah smiled, and then she burst into laughter.

Ed stared. "Are the Kankers going to use their magic powers to mutate mash potatoes and-"

Jimmy put the sword up close to his neck; within a centimeter of his skin. Ed wisely silenced. "You're stupid," Sarah grumbled. "We're going to use the Fairixies and their dimension-traveling powers to take over the entire multiverse, idiot. But now that I had to explain it, it's not as fun anymore. Why'd my brother's parallel have to be so dumb?"

"We'll take over every single universe," Jimmy said with a smile, over Sarah's rantings about stupidity. "Starting with yours. And we'll kill off all your friends and family, for you dared to challenge us…"

Ed's attention was, for once in his life, completely and utterly undivided.

_"Ed!" the young and youthful Jimmy of his home universe cried._

_Even Sarah seemed unusually vulnerable. "Save us, Ed!"_

_Monsters pushed Double D, who was blabbering on in technobabble, and Eddy, who was holding onto a jar full of money and stammering… _

_The monstrous Kankers pushed the whole of the cul-de-sac- even their suddenly weak and defenseless counterparts, the Kanker sisters- into a corner, and then lifted up the Anti-Crystal… A dark beam of energy- designed to kill- ripped towards the defenseless kids…_

"NO!" Ed yelled, shoving Jimmy away.

Sarah growled. "Why don't you kill this Space Ranger pawn, Jimmy?"

"I don't know why this has taken so long, ma'am," Jimmy admitted. "But gladly." He lifted his sword up and prepared to strike Ed's head.

Ed caught the sword. Jimmy's eyes widened. And, with a simple motion, Ed threw the sword across the room. Whilst Jimmy just simply stared at the sword in utter shock, Sarah smiled. "Are you giving up the proper way?"

As a response, Ed pulled the EdCrystal out of his chest plate. Sarah laughed. "As fun as it would have been to watch you die, I have to say that surrender is far more amusing. So much for being a hero!"

"Where did the AntiCrystal come from?" Ed demanded to know. "And why do you have it, Sarah? If it's so valuable why did the Kankers just let you summon it?"

Sarah's smile faded. Somehow, she had mistaken determination for surrender. And now he was actually making some sense. But why was he determined at all? He had no chance of escaping! That idiot…

"I'll answer your question," Sarah smiled. "But this will be your last question anyone ever answers. This was a trap, you idiot. The Kankers knew that if you were separated from those other demons that call themselves Space Rangers, you could be killed just by being in the sight of the Anti-Crystal. And you know how they knew?" Her smile grew darker. "Because _I_ designed the Anti-Crystal, Ed. And I was around to see how you made the EdCrystal._ I_ made the Anti-Crystal in the opposite way. They put their magic into it, buy my power was what-"

The EdCrystal was glowing. Darn it! Ed's stupidity had tricked her into blabbering on without paying any attention. "What are you doing, you- you-?!"

Jimmy's eyes focused blankly on the sword. "Sarah… Why are we doing this?" he suddenly asked, in a daze.

"D-Doing what?"

"Working for the Kankers," Jimmy said, a look of horror crossing his face as he mentally reviewed the last few years. "They're murderers!"

The color drained from Sarah's face. Angrily, she whirled around and glared at Ed. Brainwashing magic! Then she whirled back. "Don't be fooled, Jimmy! That moron is using brainwashing magic! He's the real murderer!"

Ed smiled light-headedly. His plan was working. He imagined what Eddy and Double D would have said if they were there… Nothing, for they would have simply been staring, mouths open in shock. Then Double D would have said: "You had a plan?!" The "plan" had truly been a moment of: Wait a minute, if this EdCrystal thing can do _anything… _

"I'm not brainwashing you," Ed said. "I'm unbrainwashing you."

Sarah opened her mouth to protest, but she couldn't. However, she could see how weak using the Crystal was making him. She simply had to outwait that murderer. Clutching onto the Crystal, she began thinking to herself, _You're-a-murderer-you're-a-murderer… Give up, give up, I know the truth, murder, murderer…_

Fun memories returned to Sarah, memories that had turned into a hazy fog long before. She ran her mind through every life that her older brother had ended. And she ran her mind through every life that the ones Ed murdered had murdered- every one she knew about, anyway.

"Sarah," Jimmy pleaded. And she knew there was no point in fighting for the Kankers anymore. They had murdered for fun; Ed had murdered in self defense, or in defense of others. With a reluctant sigh, she loosened her grip on the AntiCrystal, which, despite her tries, would not activate. Ed lowered his own crystal, knowing he had won.

Jimmy smiled, and turned around bravely towards Ed. "Sir Ed, I have been misguided in fighting for the Kanker Alliance. I would love to fight for you, if you could possibly forgive my sins."

"OKAY!" Ed shouted, delighted. Jimmy smiled. And they both turned, expectantly, towards Sarah.

She burst into a run, and before Ed could duck, she had caught him. She was hugging him! "Thank you, fake big brother," Sarah said affectionately.

Ed yelped. First this Sarah was attacking him worse then the Sarah from his universe ever did. And now she was being all huggy! This was really weird, and for some reason, it made him homesick.

However, the affection did not last long. Sarah stomped on Ed's foot, yelling, "Why'd you let me get brainwashed in the first place, you idiot?"

Jimmy paled. "S-Sarah! This isn't the same Ed from our dimension, and even if it was, he thought we were dead all these years-"

"Sarah's back!" Ed smiled, hugging her. Jimmy sighed, glad that Ed hadn't interpreted the violence as a betrayal. Sarah scowled; her real older brother was affectionate at times, but this was annoying.

"Leggo of me, Ed!"

"Fluffy, cuddly sister!"

"You weirdo!" Sarah pulled away, stomping towards the other wall. "We don't have time for your weird other-universiness! We need to get to the Kanker Headquarters! We're still in the middle of a war, you know-"

Suddenly, she froze. Her pupils became the same color as her iris. Ed drew in a sharp breath. "Has my sister been brainwashed by the evil Decogonials from-"

"No!" Jimmy cut off Ed's comic book reference, in annoyance. Even though he now respected Ed, comic books still irritated him. He walked past Ed, grabbing his sword. "Sarah can see the past and the future. She's having a vision."

"Cool," Ed responded simply. He wondered if the visions were more like in the _Slime Demons_ series, where visions only came at random, plot-convenient times, or the sequel series, where it bothered them every second of the day. The first one, he quickly concluded.

"_The Space Rangers," _Sarah began, sounding much older and more mature then Ed ever remembered Sarah sounding like. Her voice had an otherworldly quality to it. _"Will arrive at the Kanker Headquarters in twenty minutes." _A few seconds passed. Then her voice and eyes returned to normal: "It would be best if we arrived first. There's a secret passage in here that leads straight to the Headquarters."

She illustrated by placing her hand against the wall, the other clutching the AntiCrystal. Colorful lights danced upon the surface of the AntiCrystal, causing Ed to wince lightly. The lights dashed through Sarah's body and into the cave wall. The wall completely crumbled, revealing a passage. "It should take us about five minutes to get there."

"Okie-dokie, Sarah," Ed said cheerfully, placing the EdCrystal back into his chest plate. He skipped over to the wall of weapons and grabbed a blaster.

"The blasters aren't loaded, Ed. You'll need to use magic," Jimmy said. Ed dropped it, disappointedly. Then he turned to Sarah. "Aren't you going to put the AntiCrystal away, Sarah?"

"I'll need it to open the other wall," Sarah said, shaking her head. "And I plan on destroying it the second we no longer need it." With that, she stepped into the passageway. Jimmy did too. The two walked for a few moments before realizing Ed hadn't joined them. With a sigh, Jimmy ran back and grabbed him, dragging him into the passageway.

"This will be the last battle those Kankers will ever fight!" Ed yelled determinedly. Sarah and Jimmy nodded. They hoped he was right.


	27. Chapter 27: Ed

**Disclaimer:** Ed, Edd N Eddy and all its characters are copyright AKA Cartoon. I am not using them for profit; I am simply using them to practice my own writing skills….

**Author: **The final battle! Can Ed survive the Kankers' wrath? I hope so! Can he get home? Maybe…

Chapter Twenty-seven: The Final Fight

"Ouch."

Ed was leading the way. He _was_ running, but something had suddenly appeared, causing him to fall over. It was… a cavern wall. "Hello, wall!"

"Step aside, fake older brother," Sarah said, almost cheerfully. She was letting Ed's amusing antics distract her slightly from the upcoming death sentence. Not that she was doing it on purpose; Ed was rolling backward… on the_ walls_. The universe he came from was rather cartoonish, but _still_… Sarah sighed and touched the wall. The AntiCrystal sparked, and the wall crumbled. (Ed shuddered slightly at the dark magic.)

They were greeted with a horrifying view of the palace. Ed gaped at its crystalline black walls, standing hundreds of feet tall. The crystalline palace was practically built into the surrounding mountains and volcanoes. Evil brownish clouds oozed from its ceiling, reeking of death and decay. A scream emerged from the palace, ear-shatteringly loud.

But the volume level made sense, for the palace was less then three yards away. "Sarah, I knew you said this path lead to the Kanker Headquarters, but isn't this rather… dangerously close?" Jimmy asked nervously, clutching his sword tighter.

Sarah chuckled, also nervously. Faking casualness, she tossed the AntiCrystal back and forth between her hands. "I forgot the entrance was this close."

"This is the palace of Hades," Ed said. It was a simple fact, for he had seen this castle in the_ Hades_ comic series.

He was dutifully ignored. "I better destroy this Crystal while we still have the chance," Sarah muttered, glaring at the AntiCrystal. With a vengeful yell, she raised the Crystal high above her head, and prepared to toss it to the ground.

"You go, girl!" Jimmy yelled in support. Ed was still staring nervously at the palace, trying to remember what had happened in the comic book. The only problem was that _Hades _was so long and had so many spin-offs, Ed wasn't sure what issue this universe might have been paralleling-

Something moved. Before Ed had a chance to yell out a warning, the three Kanker demons had appeared atop the highest- and closest- peak of the castle.

Lee-der-dum flew downwards, laughing evilly. She pointed her barrel-like fingers at Sarah and fired. "SARAH!" Ed yelled. Sarah span around, but she was no match for the speed of the bullet of poisonous slime. It slammed into her, pushing her into the ground and tossing the AntiCrystal into the air. Hand poised in air like an evil baseball catcher, Lee-der-dum caught it.

"Stupid Space Ranger!" May-toe-jam shouted mockingly as she joined her older sister. Marie-mop-plop flew behind silently; her smile was more mocking then any words could have been. "You'd think you would have been wise enough to see our trap, even if you weren't psychic! We used the Anti Crystal to alter Skuashi's powers! Your weak little army wasn't teleported to some random place in space, it was transported here! On purpose!"

In the time it had taken May-toe-jam to brag this, Sarah and Jimmy were already in battle position. It was even enough time for Ed to catch on and get into a tough, heroic stance.

Lee-der-dum slapped May-toe-jam upon the back of her head. "Ow! Whatdja do that for?!"

"You're just like Sarah," Lee-der-dum scolded, "always unnecessarily revealing secret plans. I'd punish both of you, but we need to focus our energy on the traitor and her brother."

"I told you the brainwashing magic would fail us," Marie-mop-plop mumbled.

"Oh well," Lee-der-dum shrugged, holding the AntiCrystal high above her head. "It's not like these losers will take that long to eliminate!"

Laughing, the other two grabbed hold of the AntiCrystal. Jimmy predicted the attack just in time, grabbed his teammates, lifted them up ("Jimmy's strong as a bear!" Ed commented randomly in surprise), and ran. The shock wave of the blast flung them into the palace's walls. However, sitting up, Ed saw that they had avoided the worst of it: the secret entrance- and the huge volcano it was in- was gone. The volcano was as flat as a two-by-four plank.

Sarah and Jimmy were undeterred by the blast's strength. In fact, they seemed slightly _under_whelmed; almost as if the mountain-flattening blast was a weak warm up. They nodded to each other, and then to Ed, who nodded back, unsure why he was nodding. Then they charged at the Kankers, jumping impossibly high into the air. Lee-der-dum made a motion with her head, and her accomplices let go of the Crystal. They flew down, laughing wickedly, and attacked the two reformed Space Rangers.

May-toe-jam's fingernails and toenails- or rather, the five knives at the end of her hands and feet- clanged loudly and unpleasantly with Jimmy's tiny rapier. Somehow, Jimmy was able to keep track of all twenty of the knives flying at him. And Sarah- whose eyes, Ed noticed, were as blank as when she had seen the future before, and who had grown angelic wings the same shade as her blank eyes- agilely ducked the blade of the gigantic flail that Marie-mop-plop called an arm. Screaming in frustration, Marie-mop-plop fired the blaster that was her other arm. Ed yelped, but his fear was unnecessary; Sarah emerged completely unscathed, a glowing white shield surrounding her.

They seemed about even. Sarah and Jimmy might win. No- they were the good guys. And the good guys _always_ won. They would _definitely_ win! Ed cheered in delight at this thought.

A bolt of poisonous slime hit his left cheek, causing him to yelp in pain and shock. However, the bolt had, for the most part, missed; it did not knock him over as it had Sarah. Jimmy and Sarah, though, did not know this; they glanced sharply over their shoulders at their leader's yell, for the slightest second. It was enough for their Kankerian counterparts to get two swift attacks in. They returned to their fight, but the distraction had given May and Marie the upper hand…

"What are you celebrating for, _sweetie_?" Lee-der-dum chuckled, floating overhead. She held the AntiCrystal, glowing with ominous power, overhead. "We're winning here, you moron. Your celebration is an invitation to death."

"The good guy always wins!" Ed yelled triumphantly. He began to pull the EdCrystal out of his chest plate. However, he saw the smirk that crossed Lee's disgustingly mutated face. Was it possible? Was this a trick to get him to pull the EdCrystal out?

Laughing, Lee-der-dum said, "It seems you've looked through my trap, honey. A bit too late, though. Let's see if you can look through THIS trap!" And, with that, a tornado formed above the AntiCrystal.

It didn't move. It simply grew in power, size, and loudness. Lee laughed as it floated above her head, imposingly, but harming nothing. Yet the use of the AntiCrystal was too much for Ed. Screaming in pure agony, he dropped to his knees, holding his hand against his head. What kind of perfect universe was this?! Who knew that the hero's journey would be so terrible? There was nothing fun about this.

The AntiCrystal used far more power in the Kanker's hands then in Sarah's. Ed could not see a foot in front of him, let alone think straight. He couldn't think to put the EdCrystal, halfway removed from his chest plate, back. He couldn't hear Lee-der-dum's laughter as she floated down. He could feel that the AntiCrystal had moved closer, and somehow, that increased the impossible, blinding agony. He didn't even feel as she shoved him to the floor, or notice as Lee-der-dum removed the EdCrystal from him.

Somehow, though, he became aware that the EdCrystal was not only the greatest strength of the Ed of this universe, but the greatest weakness. If it was removed from his body for too long, he knew- he instinctively knew- that this Ed's body would die. And he would die with it.

And then the pain was gone. All faded to black, and then there was nothing.

"ED!" Sarah screamed, her voice echoing across the volcanoes. The distraction should have given Marie the chance to kill her. But she didn't. Both Marie-mop-plop and May-toe-jam flew up to where Lee-der-dum held the two crystals above her head.

"NO!" Jimmy screamed, looking away from Ed and toward the Kankers.

---

"Do you feel that?" Kevin asked, shivering.

A blast of pure, bright light, accompanied by a tornado, appeared from a group of volcanoes and caves, and hit the sky, changing its colors.

"No," Nazz responded, "but I see that!"

A monster snuck up on Kevin. A group of Space Rangers hit it, and it disintegrated.

"That's the last of those monsters," General Rolf announced. He pointed at the light ahead. "But we must hurry there!" The Space Rangers responded with a loud, "Yes, sir."

"Kevin, Johnny," Saraline ran up behind them, almost gasping for breath. "Have you seen Ed recently? Neither TargonTroi nor Skuashi have."

"Could he be dead?" Johnny asked, horrified. Nazz gasped in fear.

"No."

"No, Kevin?" Nazz asked, sounding relieved. Saraline, also sounding relieved, said, "You've seen him? Where is he?"

"Don't you see it? That fake is with the Kankers!" Kevin yelled, clutching his fists in anger. Nazz stared blankly; Saraline and Johnny simply gaped at him in disbelief.

"Kevin, he clearly wasn't bright enough to-"

"Anyone can fake stupidity, Johnny," Kevin muttered angrily. "I know, I _KNOW _he is with the Kankers, giving them the EdCrystal! I wouldn't be surprised if that was the Kankers using the EdCrystal over there!"

Nazz mumbled, touching Kevin's shoulder, "What are you guys talking about?"

Kevin pushed her away and ran ahead, past General Rolf. He ignored the cries from the others; General Rolf, confused at Kevin's rush, decided to make the Space Rangers run faster, too.

They passed around the corner, getting a perfect view of the horrifying palace. But the palace was nothing compared to what they saw in the sky; the three demonic Kankers were floating high in the air, holding the EdCrystal and a floating black crystal that seemed to suck the light right out of the EdCrystal.

"The AntiCrystal!" TargonTroi gasped in realization.

The tornado and the light were coming from the two Crystals, and they were surrounding the Kankers. Two dozen Space Rangers were already flinging magical attacks at them, but the attacks were simply deflected.

"Dude… is that…" Nazz began.

"Sarah? Jimmy?!" Skuashi gasped.

"They're still alive?" Saraline gaped. Then she saw Ed. "He's almost dead!" She forgot about the horrifying scene above and ran to him, already preparing the healing magic.

The other Space Rangers stared in horror- and then began uselessly attacking- as the three Kankers began merging into one giant being. Their evil laughter shook the nearby volcanoes- setting some off, and impossibly quickly, they grew in size. They grew and grew until the malicious castle seemed tiny in comparison. Their flesh molted, as did their clothes, and they became a mishmash of wings and scales and weaponry-feet. Their hands, however, were two five-fingered hands holding the crystals above their head. They did not look complete.

That was why it was a shock when the Crystals above fired, a beam of light mixed with a tornado. Half the Space Rangers scrambled away just in time. There was nothing left where the other half was- absolutely nothing. Even the volcano behind them was gone, as if it had never existed.

A large group of Space Rangers- Kevin, TargonTroi, Skuashi, Johnny, General Rolf and Nazz- noted that Saraline was standing above Ed, trying desperately to heal him. They joined her, standing next to- and inches away from, as if the two were ghosts- Sarah and Jimmy.

"Come on, Ed… wake up, you idiot," Sarah muttered.

---

Pain. Searing pain. Everything around him was impossibly painful. Yet he focused. Ed saw the faces of many people. Sarah… Jimmy… Nazz… Kevin… Rolf… They almost looked the same, as at home. But no, their expressions were that of battle weary adults, not of carefree teenagers.

He forced himself to stand, in a daze. Pain everywhere. Bad for Ed… but letting it get to him would be worse.

"I knew it!" Kevin screamed, and Saraline and TargonTroi had to pull him back to prevent him from attacking Ed. "I knew it! You're a Kanker spy! You gave them the EdCrystal, you bastard!"

"What are you talking about, Ambassador?" General Rolf shouted.

"He's a fake! He replaced the real Ed!"

"Is that true?" Nazz gasped.

"It is suspicious," Johnny admitted. "But I can't just believe you without proof, Kevin! Where did you go, Ed?"

"What are you talking about? Why didn't anyone report that he was a fake, if this is so?" General Rolf demanded.

Nazz, almost tearing up, demanded to know: "Are you really a fake? What did you do to the real Ed?"

"Calm down!" Skuashi squeaked; he was ignored. Saraline began to answer General Rolf's questions and TargonTroi tried to get the others to stop talking all at once, which was hard to do when he was also preventing Kevin from using a water spell on Ed.

Ed stared, dazed. The pain was searing. He'd have to get rid of it. He was aware of Kevin making accusations- followed by the others demanding explanations. But what came to mind was the question: how could he get this Kevin's trust? Simple. Even in the mind-wrenching pain, he knew the answer: solve the problem. But how? A simple look up and he could see that the Kankers were too high up. He couldn't even reach the Kanker-demon, let alone kill it.

The Kankers were preparing to strike. Sarah noticed this, and forced all her energy to form a shield; the shield absorbed most of the damage, but everyone was injured by the time the shield faded. Sarah nearly collapsed.

Wait… Hadn't she sprouted wings before?

"Johnny," Ed suddenly spoke up. The entire group silenced. "Is there a type of flying magic? One that doesn't involve wings?"

Everyone was deathly silent. After a second of stunned silence- for that was not what Johnny, or anybody, was expecting Ed to ask- Johnny answered: "Um, y-yes."

"Good," Ed nodded.

"U-Uh, to do it-"

Johnny's instruction, however, was apparently not needed. Ed began to float. "W-Wait! You're not going to fly up to the Kankers, are you?"

Ed's lack of response was answer enough. Everyone began speaking at once, and Ed began to float away, collecting all his energy and trying to focus.

"You can't do that, Ed!" Johnny yelled above the rest. "It's suicide! You can't just grab the crystals-"

"EVERYONE, RUN!" Jimmy screamed. Johnny, on instinct, began running. The blast wave pushed him into the castle walls- now cracking under the Kanker's raw power. He turned around, quickly, to try and talk sense into Ed. But he could no longer see him.

_---_

Where was Ed, again? Oh right, he was flying upwards. He was going to look the Kankers straight in the eye and stop them. Somehow. He was flying, using his own magic, which was probably a good sign. Ah… Now he was face to face with all six eyes of the merged Kanker demon. The crystals were still yards above, and though he could only just see their outlines, he could feel the power building within them. The Kankers were preparing another strike, and this one was going to take less time.

Suddenly, the Kankers began laughing in unison. Their noise was so loud that Ed was surprised he didn't go deaf. Suddenly, the crystals began glowing brighter and brighter. Ed's eyes widened- "Oh no!" He was wrong. They weren't preparing another quick, small blast. They were preparing a blast of magic so strong that…

"Hah, you're still alive?" May-toe-jam chuckled.

Marie-mop-plop laughed louder: "Hardly! Look at him! He can hardly stand up straight!"

"How're you going to stop us, little boy?" Lee-der-dum laughed, deepest and loudest of them all. "We have double the power you ever had!"

"And with this blast," all three said in unison- or, almost in unison- their voices were a little off. That made sense, Ed thought. They had three heads, and three different personalities. _Hmm…. _"ALL THE SPACE RANGERS IN THE UNIVERSE WILL BE DESTROYED!"

Ed was tired of this. The pain that stupid AntiCrystal produced. The corny lines ripped straight from his comic books. Every part of him wanted to quit. Yet… he'd watched the movies. If the hero gave up, the bad guys would win. He had to think… think clearly…

The three hadn't been speaking in unison. If he could distract one…. "Well, you're ugly!" Ed countered their deadly threat.

It was clear that no one had dared insult these monsters to their face before. Marie's face turned bright red, and she stared away from the crystals above. May-toe-jam angrily pulled her hand down, in an attempt to smash the Space Ranger. It would have worked- Ed was about the size of their pupils, and he _was _flying within the range to be crushed by her gigantic, hulking hand.

However, that hand was the one holding the EdCrystal. She ended up dropping it.

"MAY-TOE-JAM! YOU MORON!" Lee-der-dum and Marie-mop-plop screamed in unison.

"Hahaha, I took that right from a movie! You need to watch more TV if you want to take over this universe!" Ed said, posing triumphantly and woozily.

---

Everyone stood, staring at the chaos above. They could not see what was happening- the growing tornado and lights were too bright. However, they could hear the Kanker's dark laughter. And then they heard two of the Kankers let out an eardrum-bursting screech.

"I-Is he attacking them?" Kevin gasped in surprise.

General Rolf frowned. "Possibly. That's a yell of frustration."

Inexplicably, Sarah pointed at something in the haze of dust and smoke caused by the tornado above, which was ripping the dust right off the face of the Kanker home world. "Jimmy… do you see that?"

Everyone turned; no one saw anything in that fog. Jimmy shook his head. No one could see that far… it was impossible! Except… perhaps… a seer? "What do you see, ma'am?"

Sarah gasped, and, despite the fact she had used most of her energy in creating that shield, began running. "It's- It's!"

The EdCrystal landed smoothly in her hand. "Wait- if you have that- does that mean that-" Saraline gasped.

"-that the Kanker's limitless power has disappeared?" Skuashi added, almost squeaking.

As if to dash the Space Ranger's hopes, Lee-der-dum laughed in a deranged fashion, loud enough to be heard above the tornado: "IT IS TOO LATE, ED! THE ANTICRYSTAL HAS ABSORBED ALL OF THE EDCRYSTAL'S POWER! WE CANNOT BE STOPPED!"

"Oh no…" Johnny whispered, reflecting the dark feelings all the Space Rangers shared. The entire group stared at the ground, with the exception of Kevin, who glared defiantly at the sky.

"WE'LL KILL YOU ALL! WITH THIS BLAST, WE'LL KILL EVERY SINGLE SPACE RANGER IN THE UNIVERSE!"

As was expected of Jimmy at a time like this, he looked up, prepared to ask Sarah if she was alright. "S-"

Her eyes were glowing. Jimmy blinked. _Her eyes were glowing._ Was it a vision of the future, of the imminent destruction ahead?

Words filled the air. They did not come from Sarah. It was clearly Ed's voice, though he was miles high in the sky. Nonetheless, it sounded like he was right in front of Sarah. "Sarah, I need you to use the EdCrystal on them. Please…"

"No!" Jimmy yelled. "No, that'll kill her! If she tries to stop that kind of power-"

Sarah spun around, smiling lightly. Her beautiful green eyes- not her mystical white eyes- reflected an inner calm and determination. That smile- those eyes- were enough to silence Jimmy, to make him trust in her more. He smiled a dopey smile back. (TargonTroi, Skuashi and Saraline shared a look. Jimmy hadn't changed. Even facing imminent destruction, he was still a hormonal teenager with an overpowering crush.)

No one, not even Kevin, spoke up as Sarah held the crystal above her head.

---

"D-Did you feel that Lee-der-dum?" Marie-mop-plop suddenly asked, breaking off from the evil laughter. Lee-der-dum and May-toe-jam stopped laughing too, for they felt it: someone was using the EdCrystal against their AntiCrystal… Sarah! Ed was astrally-projecting himself to Sarah, telling her to attack them!

Their demanding stares turned to Ed. Any normal boy stuck in his position would have run away at the look they gave him. However, due to a particular combination of the influence of weird heroic-adventure movies and pain-induced delirium, he smiled. It surprised the Kankers that such a bumpkin-face could manage such a snooty smirk.

Surprised? Did I say it surprised the Kankers? I meant it _infuriated _the Kankers. "Stop, girls-" Lee-der-dum commanded her other heads, who were about to stupidly loose focus and attack him. "Why should we focus our energy on killing him independently? Let's focus on using the AntiCrystal to kill him… That is, if INFERNO-" She yelled the name out, as if calling to a pet- "doesn't kill him first!"

The other Kankers joined Lee-der-dum as she burst into evil laughter. Ed wished they would stop. He was trying to remember what 'Inferno' was.

He remembered just in time to feel the dragon's breath run down his back. Before he had a chance to turn around, the dragon had fired its fiery breath at him. Skin black as ash (almost ready to disintegrate into ash), he fell to the ground.

"Good boy, Inferno!" May-toe-jam applauded.

"Don't talk to my dragon," Lee-der-dum scolded condescendingly. Inferno turned around, as if hurt by the fact someone as lowly as May-toe-jam would take notice of him. May-toe-jam pouted; Marie-mop-plop laughed, only cut off by Lee-der-dum's stare. Then they all began bursting into evil laughter again.

---

As Ed fell, certainly to his death, he began to wonder how many powers the EdCrystal had. If it could heal brainwashed people, and create entire universes, maybe it could heal wounds? But wouldn't he have to be holding it to heal his wounds? The fall would kill him long before he reached the ground.

Wait a second. Hadn't he flied, despite not holding the EdCrystal? Maybe… just maybe…

Ed focused. Flying had come easy- far easier then summoning a blaster. Maybe this universe's Ed was weakened by holding the EdCrystal near? The only advantage was that he would die if he didn't hold it near. And even this seemed to be a lie, because a simple healing spell brought him back.

It was obvious- the Ed of this universe held the EdCrystal close not because it would kill him if it didn't (he could heal himself in the seconds it took to remove the EdCrystal), but because when it was farther away, it was more erratic… harder to control, but magically stronger. In other words, because Ed was not holding the EdCrystal, it should have been easier to use magic. Encouraged, Ed focused on healing himself.

By the time he gently touched the ground, the damage of Inferno's blast- and the pain from the AntiCrystal- was gone.

A plan came to mind. Wait till Ed told Double D- he was almost as fast-thinking on his feet here as Double D was at home! Eddy probably wouldn't even believe him! A smile crossed Ed's face, because he knew he would be arriving home.

"Ed!" a chorus of Space Ranger cries- minus Sarah- yelled as Ed touched the ground.

There was no time for silly comments or happiness at seeing the others alive, though. He had time for that when he got home! Now he just had to get home- first step, killing the evil Kanker trio! "Everybody! Gather around Sarah! Focus all your energy into the EdCrystal!"

"Ed?" TargonTroi asked, eye widening. He seemed so much more like… a leader now. Like the true Ed from their universe. And he was completely unscathed! He'd faced the Kankers in a weakened state, and escaped, completely unscathed!

"We have no time for questions," Ed said commandingly. General Rolf repeated Ed's commands to the Space Rangers, though they were already moving to surround Sarah. Everyone, that is, except for Kevin.

"What are you planning?" Kevin demanded.

"You're hurt," Ed pointed.

Kevin blinked. "Huh?" He looked down at his chest. There was a large wound there. When did that happen? Blinking again, Kevin realized it must have happened relatively early. He ignored it, and stared at Ed, demandingly. "So?"

Waving his hand, Ed explained how being farther away from the EdCrystal made the Crystal more powerful. Kevin's wound healed completely- not even a scar remained.

"Why are you telling me this, you traitor?"

"I am not a traitor, Kevin," Ed said simply. He walked to join the others. Kevin, left staring at nothing but the dirt separating from the earth below him, finally sighed and turned around to join the others.

Ed joined the other Space Rangers, who were holding their arms, fins, hooves and so on up to the EdCrystal. It glowed brighter and brighter. Ed, too, joined his energy, and the EdCrystal- shining millions of different colors- began floating above Sarah's hands.

The Kankers, at last, were ready. With a particularly wicked laugh, they unleashed a deadly beam of black, tornado-like energy that encircled the entire universe. The Space Rangers, too, were ready. Their blast of light, however, only hit the area surrounding the Kankers. Inferno immediately disintegrated.

"What?!" Lee-der-dum winced, not at the brightness of the light, but at its pure power.

The tornadoey beams of the AntiCrystal began to dull.

"Focus harder, you idiots!" Lee-der-dum scolded. She would not let them get distracted at a moment like this. All of the Space Rangers in the galaxy- no, the entire universe- were now putty in her hands. With the AntiCrystal, they could eliminate them all. Ah, the chorus of an entire universe's worth of heroes screaming, as they die in unison! She would not let her idiotic siblings stop the magnificent sound!

"But it's so bright- so much more powerful then before-" May-toe-jam whimpered.

Marie-mop-plop glared at Lee. "It's your fault, Lee! You should have killed him when you had the chance!"

"It's May's fault! She dropped the EdCrystal!"

"No, it's yours!" May-toe-jam screamed.

Ed smiled. Three disunited minds certainly couldn't beat hundreds of united minds. (Maybe the three Eds weren't united enough, and that was why Eddy's scams always failed? Ed blinked at the odd thought, and promptly forgot it, because it was distracting from the moment at hand.)

The EdCrystal's brilliant light was made brighter then ever before, for it had become 800 times stronger then ever before, and was becoming stronger as every Space Ranger in the universe received the message, and started focusing their energy.

"Stop it, you two! You're arguing with me is letting him win!"

Marie-mop-plop turned bright red. "No, it's your crappy leadership-"

The AntiCrystal above them cracked. The three simply stared, jaws hung open, as the universe-encompassing Space-Ranger-killing tornado disappeared, leaving them defenseless against the EdCrystal's power. They did not have the chance to revert to their individual states. They only had the chance to scream as the light encompassed them. It erased the darkness from their souls, and there was nothing left- they disappeared.

When the bright light finally died down, and the EdCrystal floated lazily into Sarah's hand, the surrounding planet had changed. Beautiful blue lakes and bright green trees were seen, as far as the eye could see. The sun shined brightly and softly upon the exhausted, but beaming, Space Rangers. The dark, looming cliffs had become softly rolling hills.

"Huh. We Transformers had a legend about a place like this…" Saraline murmured. "An Eden turned into Hell by the Devil…"

"Knalp, too, told of this place," Johnny mumbled dazedly.

"So… we've killed the Devil?" Nazz mumbled. "Interesting…"

"Hey, Skuashi," TargonTroi- even TargonTroi's voice became a hushed whisper as the beautiful place lured him into a peaceful state- whispered, "You used your magic, but the planet wasn't destroyed. Does this mean you've controlled your power?"

"Well… the _Kanker's _planet was destroyed. But I do think that my power has finally been controlled," Skuashi murmured calmly.

Everyone was silent, enjoying the scenery. It was as if the whole universe was at peace, now. Maybe this was true; after all, if the Kankers were supposed to be the Devil, and they had just been killed… Ed smiled calmly. He stood next to Sarah. "Are you okay? You had to use that Crystal by yourself for awhile."

"I'm fine," Sarah smiled. She looked at the peaceful, vibrant green grass below her, suddenly wishing that her real brother was back. Something caught her eye. "What's this?" She reached down and picked it up. It was the cracked AntiCrystal. "Of course, my copy couldn't beat Ed's original."

"I bet you could repair it," Jimmy suddenly piped up. Ed and Sarah stared, and Jimmy blushed. "I-I mean, not make another AntiCrystal, but fix it, and, uh, make..."

"-a SarahCrystal?" Ed offered.

Jimmy nodded, along with a few other Space Rangers. "That's a great idea!" Nazz cheered.

"Or maybe a SvadorVolume64Crystal, because this is just like the ending to-"

"No," Nazz, Jimmy and Sarah answered in unison.

A large group gathered around Sarah to help her recreate the AntiCrystal- no, the SarahCrystal. Ed was a bit tired- after all, he'd just went from a cruddy magician to a top level magician in less then a day, a process that normally took years, if not decades. However, he had one vital question. He noted that Saraline, TargonTroi and Skuashi had not joined Sarah. They walked up to him, instead. Of course- they were the loyal Cabinet members, and he was the Cabinet leader.

"We need to talk politics," TargonTroi said firmly. "Sorry, but it has to be done. The Kankers were finally eliminated, and two powerful members of our court we presumed dead are now alive again."

Saraline handed him the EdCrystal, which Sarah had hastily tossed to her while creating her own crystal.

"Er… I think the original Ed should do that stuff," Ed said. "They don't talk about politics in sci-fi movies!"

"True," Saraline nodded.

"But how can we get him back?" Skuashi muttered. Then, correcting himself, he said, "Well, of course, the EdCrystal can move people through time and space."

"Really?! I could have gone home the whole time? Like Dorothy?" Ed cried.

TargonTroi rolled his eyes. "_No._ Your two friends, your parallel, and your friend's parallels switched dimensions, too. You'd have to move all of them, and that would be impossible unless…"

"Unless… a constant is met between you and your parallel?" Sarah offered, walking up to them. She held the AntiCrystal- now a dark pink color- the SarahCrystal- up. "If that constant is met, you and my brother will switch places. I'm not sure how powerful this Crystal is, but if it is anything like the EdCrystal, I can put a spell on you to encourage that constant to be met quicker. As… As a thank you from our universe for getting rid of the Kankers… and as a personal thank you for unbrainwashing me."

Ed considered saying something heroic about how he didn't do it alone, but decided not to look a gift horse in the mouth. He wasn't very successful though, because he couldn't help but ask: "Will it work on Eddy and Double D, too?"

"Your friends? I don't know, you idiot," Sarah's face scrunched up. "I've never used this Crystal before!" At the sight of Ed's puppy dog face, she sighed. She couldn't deny the puppy dog face. "Yeah, it's pretty likely," she mumbled.

"Thank you, my squish, huggy, magical-powered parallel universe sister!" Ed cheered, hugging Sarah.

Rather discretely, General Rolf pulled the three members of the Cabinet aside. "Care to explain what's been going on here?"

The three shared looks. TargonTroi rather bravely said, "The 'comic' isn't over! Don't ruin the moment with politics!" Rolf, despite being taken aback, stared at the scene with the others.

Sarah, after finally pushing Ed off of her, held the SarahCrystal up high. A pale pink light fluttered about it, but it seemed it would not work. Jimmy blinked, remembering the lesson of how Ed had defeated the Kankers using all of their powers combined, and walked up to her, focusing his own power onto the crystal.

A brighter pink light floated towards Ed. Ed smiled. "It tickles!"

"Now we just need to wait for the constant to be reached," Saraline muttered. "But that constant might not be met."

"What is the constant?" Johnny asked.

"He must meet a parallel from his own universe," Saraline explained. "The Ed of our universe and this Ed must interact with this person at the same exact time in their universes. And for Ed's two friends to be switched, their parallel will also have to be talking to an equivalent person."

"It might never be met. What are the chances that the same guy will exist in four different universes?" TargonTroi asked.

Suddenly, Ed wondered: "What time is it?"

Skuashi peaked at his watch. "3:12 in the afternoon, local time. Why?"

Ed did not answer. Instead, he instinctively skipped in place- the utopian atmosphere of this Eden prevented any other type of transportation.

Kevin sighed. He'd finally accepted it. This Ed wasn't a Kanker minion. He was just some little boy from a parallel universe. One that read a lot of comics and somehow knew everything about this place. He'd saved his universe. And he deserved… he deserved… Sighing, Kevin walked up to Ed, who continued skipping. Ed opened his mouth to say something stupid. Kevin spoke before he could say anything: "Ed… I'm sorry… for thinking you were a traitor."

Ed beamed a huge beam that some later joked was almost as bright as the EdCrystal that fatal day. Squealing, he leaned over and gave Kevin a huge hug. Kevin mumbled something, uncomfortable. "It's okay, Kevin!" Ed said cheerfully. "I just wish that the Kevin from my universe was the type that COULD apologize!"

Kevin couldn't help but laugh. Hey, this version of Ed wasn't that bad! Ed began laughing too, and everyone joined in.

A blinding flash of white light filled the peaceful field.

_In a comic-book like universe, recently saved from destruction, a constant was reached. If Ed had asked, Skuashi would have said it was wasn't asking, though; he was too busy laughing with Kevin._

_In a scientifically advanced universe, where the Earth was in peril, a constant was reached. If Double D had a watch, it would have said 3:15, because that was the time in the area where his spaceship launched from. He was too busy trying to distract Kevin from a question he could not answer._

_In a capitalistic universe, where a bajillionaire's life was in danger, a constant was reached. If Eddy had thought to check a watch, he would have seen it was 3:15. He was too busy telling Kevin the answer to a question he could answer._

_In a cartoonish universe, where three parallel's sanity and dignity was in danger, a constant was reached. If the three had thought to check the time, they would have seen it was 3:15. They were too busy yelling at-or perhaps, with- Kevin, though. _

When the bright light was gone, Ed was also gone. No one was alarmed, however. Their universe was too peaceful to feel such things as danger. Sarah smiled. "That constant was reached pretty fast!"

And she smiled- along with everyone else- in expectation. Finally, they would see their real leader once again…


	28. Epilogue

**Disclaimer:** Ed, Edd N Eddy and all its characters are copyright AKA Cartoon. I am not using them for profit; I am simply using them to practice my own writing skills….

**Author: **I can't believe it. The last chapter of Perfect Worlds is done… and now the epilogue is done! And it only took me about 4 years! Well, I hope you enjoyed the ride.

**Sequels?: **I'm working on another project at the moment, but I plan on eventually writing sequels to Perfect Worlds. One "sequel" will describe what the three parallel Eds did in the canon timeline… and the other sequel will describe an alternate universe where the three Eds didn't teleport to three separate universes, but to one universe. I hope that'll explain some of the stranger comments of the Epilogue.

Epilogue: Between the Universes

When they regained their ability to see, they saw that they were floating. Everything around them was completely white, and in the background, they could hear the sound of a clock ticking onwards.

Eddy and Double D looked about, rather confused. They were somewhere else and now they were… here. Ed grinned. "Yay! The constant was reached for us to go home!"

"Ed?" his two friends responded in unison, spinning around. "Ed!"

"Double D!"

"Eddy!"

The three hugged. "I'm so glad to see you guys!" Double D cried in relief.

"Hey, we have our wavy lines back!" Ed said. "And I'm a teen again!" Eddy looked rather confused by the statement, but Double D nodded, glad to be back in his young, cartoonish body. Though he couldn't help but wonder why there was a camera hanging around his neck.

A fourth voice, familiar yet slightly older then Double D's, asked, "Where are we?"

The white light dimmed slightly, becoming a very light gray. The three Eds spun around to see… their three counterparts, floating next to them. Ed stood, noble and comic-bookish- he looked like a true emperor. Double D, too, was an adult but he looked more realistic then comic-bookish; and he looked more vulnerable and childish then a scientist leading an organization to destroy the world should. And Eddy looked exactly like his parallel, sans the wavy lines, and with a slightly more pampered air.

"This must be a universe between universes," the parallel Ed explained. "We all reached the constant needed to transport home-" at the blank look he received, he explained- "We all talked to Kevin at around 3 ish?"

"Yeah…" Eddy said suspiciously. Double D nodded. Ed stared blankly into space.

"The fact that we are here means that some life-changing events must have happened during the switch," the older Ed explained. It was rather unnerving, to Eddy and Double D at least, how… un-Ed-like, yet completely-Ed-like, this man seemed. Suddenly, the light gray background became slightly darker. The tic-tocing sound became louder. "And we don't have much time to do it-"

"OOOH, OOH, ME FIRST!" the teenaged Ed cried, jumping up and down. Then, comically running about and illustrating the events, he said, "Iceshes attacked us! Then we went back to Earth and KANKERS attacked us!"

The other Ed gasped. "The Kankers returned?!"

"Yeah, and we had to go all over, protecting Plankstar, and gathering warriors! Then Skuashi teleported us away from the leaderless Treble armada, but it was a trap, and we were teleported to the KANKER HOME PLANET!"

"What? You headed to the Kanker home planet?" the other Ed's face paled. This could not have been good news for him, or his home universe.

"And there was this giant blast of red light that killed a lot of people-" Ed said this, uncharacteristically dark. However, he returned to his normal buoyancy as he continued: "Then I was kidnapped by Sarah and Jimmy-" The other Ed gasped- "who had been BRAINWASHED by the Kankers, not killed! But I unbrainwashed 'em with the EdCrystal. And the Kankers had made this AntiCrystal thingie and they used it with my EdCrystal thingie to try to destroy all the Space Rangers in the universe, but I got the EdCrystal back, and the Space Rangers COMBINED their powers into it, and now the Kankers are dead and the Kanker home world is Even!"

"Eden, Ed?" Double D instinctively corrected. Ed nodded. Double D and Eddy shared a look- that universe sounded like something out of a corny movie or comic. "Definitely his perfect world," Eddy mumbled.

"I cannot believe that I'll be able to see Sarah again…" the counterpart Ed smiled a teary smile. "It was hard, living in a world with a person I thought I'd never see again. But Sarah is alive! And the Kankers are gone…"

The light turned a medium gray. The clock's ticking grew louder.

"In your universe, well… I can't think of anything we've done in particular to change your lives," the parallel Ed said quickly.

The parallel Double D corrected, "Well… there was that one prank…"

"Oh yeah!" the parallel Eddy and Ed laughed.

"It's why you have a camera around your neck-" the parallel Double D said lightheartedly, but his warm tone dropped as he saw the canon Double D's expression. He was glaring a cruel glare that neither Eddy nor Ed had seen on him before.

"I foiled your nefarious plot," Double D said coolly, darkly. "It took me awhile to figure out how… long enough for us to end up in space. I sent your daughter to Earth."

"YOU HAD A DAUGHTER?!" Ed and Eddy shouted.

Ignoring their shock, Double D continued: "I sent Stephanie to Earth. Toxin D is now loose in the ship. I was going to deliver the Cure to Earth before I was delivered here… but there is no need for that, is there? By the time you get back to the ship, all your scientists will be dead. No one will be left to destroy the Earth." And then he smirked. Then, somewhat sadder, he added, "Your wife… Nazz… is already dead."

"YOU WERE MARRIED TO NAZZ?!" Eddy screamed, jealously.

He was ignored. To Double D's shock, his parallel actually smiled. "You stopped Mission Destruction?"

"Yes," Double D responded suspiciously.

"Then this… universe-switch… is the best thing that could have happened," parallel Double D said, sounding relieved. "I wasn't… stable… when I started the project. And I couldn't believe I was actually going through. But… if it had been me… and not you… I would have gone through with it, despite my doubts. I've changed, now. I wouldn't let it go through, now… but back then…"

The background went from a medium gray to a dark gray.

"You've changed?" Double D sneered. "Well, too bad. You'll die the second you teleport back. You haven't been injected with the cure."

The parallel Double D reached into his pocket. While in his body, Double D remembered, he had pocketed a vial of the cure. "You know, if you do survive, you'll just spend the rest of your life in jail! You're an indescribably evil criminal!" Double D tried to dissuade his counterpart.

"As it should be," his counterpart responded, injecting himself with half of the solution. "Death is far too easy a punishment for my previous sins. I understand that though. I have changed… thanks to you, and to these two-" he indicated Parallel Ed and Parallel Eddy- "I've come to see what a great species humanity is. It is just too bad that Nazz died before she could see this too…"

"Are you going to bring her back to life, like you did Kevin?" Double D said scornfully, though with less edge then before.

"No. Never again."

A moment of silence passed. The two Eddy's stared at each other. Their stances were opposite- Eddy glared jealously at his rich counterpart, who smiled cluelessly back. "Well," parallel Eddy said cheerfully, "I doubt anything dramatic like that happened in my universe! My universe doesn't have magic-matter or anything like that so it's not like my parents came back from the dead or anything."

"Allith was trying to kill you for your money," Eddy said dully.

A shocked expression crossed his rich parallel's face. "W-What? Really? I… I always knew that she had an odd obsession with my fortune, but she treated me… almost… like her own child!" He looked up thoughtfully. "But, for some odd reason, the shock value of your statement wore off really quickly…" He stared Eddy in the eyes. "You must tell me every single detail! I need to use it against her in trial!"

"Oh great." Eddy rolled his eyes. Oh well… better to tell about the money he had once possessed now before the memories became faded. Hmm… That gave him a scam idea! Excitedly, cash signs replaced his eyes. He began telling his parallel every detail he could remember… though how much the parallel Eddy picked up was unknown, because the cash-sign-eyes were highly distracting to him.

As Eddy told Eddy about the assassination attempt, Double D turned to parallel Ed. "You seem to know a lot about dimensional travel."

"Fay the Fairixie came from my dimension," Ed explained.

"In that case, I have a question. Fay promised to send us to perfect universes. However, the universes we were sent too were only perfect on a surface level," Double D explained. "Why is that?"

"In order to create a perfect universe for a particular individual, that individual would have to create that universe. And even those that do have the ability to create separate universes can rarely make a faultless one," the parallel Ed explained. "Fay doesn't have the ability to create dimensions, let alone perfect ones. Few do. Even I created my own universe from an older, dying one. It was far from faultless. So Fay had to choose from a select number of pre-existing universes. She just sent you to a universe based off of your personalities. You loved science, so she sent you to a place where you were a famous scientist; and she sent you to a universe filled with familiar faces. My parallel was obsessed with strange fiction, so he was sent to my universe, which I based on strange fiction. Eddy wanted to be rich and well-loved, so he was sent to a universe where he was rich and well-loved."

"Why were so many of the faces the same?"

"Familiar faces make a universe seem better. If the universe had truly been perfect," Double D's counterpart offered, "wouldn't your two best friends have been there?"

Ed and Double D nodded in agreement.

The surroundings turned from dark gray to black. The invisible clock stopped ticking. Streams of color started floating above, accompanied by a whooshing sound.

"It seems we are about to return. When I arrive back home, I will arrest Fay. Her actions almost destroyed the multi-verse," the parallel Ed said.

"How so?" Eddy shouted.

"There was a universe where you three chose to go to one place, instead of three…" Ed shook his head. "There's no time for that! Goodbye, our counterparts!" He turned to the counterpart Double D and Eddy. "Goodbye, you two." A red tunnel of light surrounded him.

"Goodbye, Ed. Goodbye, Eddy," Double D's parallel said contemplatively as he looked down to the floor. He looked up, though, to smile at the two he had befriended. A yellow tunnel of light rushed down to surround him.

"Eddy, I'm so jealous of you! You're so lucky!" the parallel Eddy said, taking his counterpart by surprise. A beam of red light hit him, and he turned around to face the counterparts. "I wish you guys existed in my universe!"

"Me, too!" Ed said brightly.

"I, also, would have liked that," Double D's counterpart said regretfully.

The lights disappeared, and they were gone. An orange beam of light surrounded the three canon Eds. Eddy turned around, smiling brightly. "I've got a great scam idea!"

"Ah, it feels like ages since I've last heard those words," Double D chuckled lightly.

"Does it involve killer bunnies, Eddy?" Ed asked.

"Not unless there were killer bunnies in your universe, Ed."

The orange light became blindingly bright, and the three had to close their eyes… except Ed, of course. When the light faded away, they were back home.

Or, rather, they were by the river. The cul-de-sac kids were staring at them incredulously. Eddy and Ed were standing, posed, next to the river; Double D was holding a camera, recording something. And the Kankers were pulling themselves up on the other side of the river.

Their hair was bright green. Eddy burst out laughing. The Kankers screamed at him.

"That laugh… Eddy's back to normal?" Johnny asked out loud.

"What was that light? Tell Rolf," Rolf said confusedly.

Kevin suddenly approached Eddy, pulling him aside. Eddy's laughter stopped as he remembered that the Kevin of this universe was more likely to murder him then to help save him from being murdered. He winced in anticipation of a punch… that did not come. "Huh?" Eddy dared to look Kevin in the eyes.

"Look, I don't know why you've been acting weird, you… dork," Kevin said, rolling his eyes, "but that was the first normal thing you did all week! However… you've been okay, dude." He sighed, glad to get that off his chest. "You're not that dorkish anymore, I guess…"

Eddy simply blinked. Was Kevin saying that… he wasn't a dork? A triumphant smile crossed his face. "Of course not!" Silently, he thanked his parallel. With a new reputation, perhaps his scams would actually work!

"Hey, Double D!"

Double D turned around. Nazz blew him a kiss. "Call me!"

His face turned bright red, and his knees started jittering. He promptly melted, becoming a puddle on the ground.

Ed was really tempted to laugh at this, but before he could, a voice called to him. "Ed, come here…" Obediently, Ed turned around, because he did not want his younger sister getting mad at him.

"Are you the real Ed? Not that weird guy from the parallel universe?" Sarah asked in her typical bratty tone. Ed, terrified, nodded. He was swept with relief when Sarah's reaction was a relieved smile, not an attack or a demand. "Thank goodness! I thought my real big brother would never come home!"

---

The three Eds spent the night working on Eddy's brilliant scam idea. "Just make sure to change the names!" Eddy chuckled, greedily. The next day, they set up a booth.

"Comics?" Johnny asked in surprise.

"That's… dorky," Kevin mumbled.

"Hey, these comics aren't that bad! I really like the one with the scientist," Nazz chuckled. She flipped a page. "Huh? Mission Destruction?"

"Hey, are you going to buy that?" Eddy said sharply. "You can only read it if you buy it!"

"Okay, okay," Nazz said, putting three quarters in the jar. She grabbed the other two issues, also.

Johnny, Kevin, Sarah, Rolf and Jimmy followed, chatting about the comic's plotlines. "Look at this monster! Rolf's great Nana told him of the great Ice demon that terrorized her village as a child…"

"I wouldn't say he's unrealistically rich, Plank! Just comically rich!" Johnny conversed with Plank.

"Hey, that looks like one of the Kankers," Jimmy said brightly.

"Of… course it's not, Jimmy," Double D lied cheerfully. Silently, he turned to Eddy. "Where did you get the idea of selling our adventures as comics? It seems to be a hit."

"A hit? That's an understatement! We'll be swimming in jawbreakers for weeks!" Eddy beamed. "And I got the idea from when my parallel made me tell him all about Allith. Sense I'll have to wait a good year or two at least before I get as rich as him-" Double D chuckled ("How unlikely, Eddy.")- "I thought I'd write about my time as a trillionaire before I forgot it all!"

"Would you like to buy a comic book, Lee?" Ed said cheerfully. The two spun around.

The Kankers- their hair still bright green- stood, glaring angrily at the three Eds. "You're going to pay for what you did," Lee yelled. She grabbed the jar of money.

"Put that jar down!" Eddy yelled. But he was too late: Lee threw the money at a gutter. It broke through the metal and fell into the sewers below. Eddy stared, jaw agape in pure horror. The Kankers… were truly monsters!

"Hey, you cuties look upset. How about a kiss?" Marie teased.

"NO!" Eddy, Ed and Double D shouted. _How ironic,_ Double D thought bitterly. _This adventure is to end just like all of our others…_

"I'm not in the mood either, Marie," Lee said darkly. May nodded.

"Huh… You know, neither am I," Marie said.

_Or was it? _Almost in unison, the three Eds looked at the Kankers hopefully. The other neighborhood kids had long slunk away. Maybe they could have a happy ending after all!

Or not. Almost in unison, a dark smile crossed the three Kanker's face. "I am in the mood for a fight though," Lee said brightly. And the three leapt.

Throughout the cul-de-sac, Eddy's cry could be heard: "CURSE YOU, FAAAAYYYYY!"

And so, all returned to normal in the Ed's universe.

THE END


End file.
